The Monster That You See
by SoBadAtBeingGood
Summary: AU. Zukaang. A hundred years after the genocide, Anil is an airbender just trying to protect his enclave. His only family is his son, Aang, for whom he'd do anything for. However, his life will change forever when he saves a Fire Nation boy from the torturous hands of his Earth Kingdom captors. Major Zuko!Whump
1. Chapter 1

**Hey all!  
**

**So, it turns out my summer internship has a _ton_ of free time. What does that mean? That means I've been working really hard on a brand new story -_-**

**I still feel terrible about leaving you guys all hanging on my last story. At the time, I had been completely swamped and stressed with all of my work. But now I've only got one thing on my plate, my internship, and it's not stressful at all. So I've been writing this story. I have a _very_ detailed outline for the entire story and have already written the first few chapters (sans editing). I'm confident that I can finish and publish this story by summer's end. (Assuming you guys are interested).**

**Need-to-know facts about this story? It's AU. There's no such thing as the Avatar or Sozin's Comet. Also, while the genocide has occurred, some airbender still live in the world.**

**This story is going to have some serious Zuko!Whumpage, so be prepared.**

**Enjoy Chapter 1!**

* * *

Anil walked along the captured Fire Nation ship, trying to ignore the pools of blood that decorated it. It wasn't large, most likely a scouting ship. But any sort of Fire Nation presence near his enclave was a threat he couldn't afford to ignore.

It had been nearly a hundred years since Firelord Sozin went on his conquest to eradicate the Air Nomads. A hundred years since he declared war against the rest of the world. The once peaceful and prosperous airbenders were now a shell of what they had once been. Their temples destroyed, they were scattered across the globe, the Fire Nation still actively hunting them down. Living in small, hidden enclaves, they had almost no contact with each other or other outsiders. They have had to change their ways in order to survive. Eating meat didn't seem so taboo when you're on the edge of starvation. The immorality of killing another person didn't seem so black and white when it's your life on the line. Anil sometimes wondered what it would have been like to live in the temples, as the old Air Nomads once did. However, such thoughts never lasted long. He had the people of his enclave to protect. He had his son, Aang, to provide for. Thinking about the past wasn't going to help him do either.

"Anil." Zenji placed a hand on his shoulder and nodded towards the other ship. "The captain of the Earth Kingdom ship wants to talk to you."

Anil turned and saw the Earth Kingdom man similarly appraising the damage they had done to the Fire Nation ship. He seemed very pleased with himself and his men. Definitely not the type of man Anil wanted to be fraternizing with, but he did owe the man thanks for coming to their rescue last minute. Thankfully, none of Anil's people were killed, just a few were wounded.

As he walked up to the other captain, the captain smiled widely and said, "Airbenders! I never thought I'd see the any in my lifetime. It's an honor to meet you." He gave a quick bow. "My name is Fong."

Anil smiled and bowed. "I am Anil. And this is my second in command, Zenji. We owe you and your men a great thanks. We would have been much worse off if you had not come. Hopefully no one in your crew was too badly hurt."

Fong shook his head sadly. "We had one casualty. A young lad named Lee." He kicked one of the bodies. "Fire Nation savages… they deserved worse."

"I am so sorry," Anil said with genuine remorse, ignoring the last comment. "If there's anything my people can do to help in repayment. We have healers if you need."

Fong shrugged off his offer. "This is the reality of war. Though if you and your crew dined with us on our ship, you would do us a great honor. None of us have ever even seen an airbender before, let alone talked to one!"

Anil had no desire to spend an evening with this man, but he knew his crew could use something to lift their spirits after this bloody affair. "The honor would be all ours."

"Excellent! We dine at sunset!"

Anil bowed again before turning to go back to the ship. He planned on getting some rest. No doubt it would be a long evening.

Zenji smiled, detecting Anil's discomfort. "You, in a party atmosphere…" she said. "This will be interesting."

"It's just a dinner," he replied.

"It's a dinner with _soldiers_. If you don't think there's going to be drinking, you're going to be sorely mistaken." She patted him on the back. "Try and relax tonight. Drink a little. Take a page from your son's book and try to just have a little fun. If you don't learn to relax every once and a while, these battles are just going to wear you down until there's nothing left."

Anil let out a long sigh. "Fine. I promise I'll try."

Zenji smiled. "Good."

* * *

The evening started out tame enough. They ate traditional Earth Kingdom food, which Anil found surprisingly tasty. They had a moment of silence for their fallen brother and wished a speedy recovery for the wounded from both ships. Beer was served during the meal, sake was served afterward. Everyone probably had a bit too much, including Anil. He wasn't overly fond of the feeling of disconnect that came with being inebriated. Still, he managed to have an interesting conversation with Captain Fong.

"I hear airbenders used to get blue arrow tattoos on their arms, legs, and forehead." Fong pointed to Anil's arrow-less forehead. "I take it that's not true anymore."

"We don't get the traditional tattoos anymore, no. Too noticeable. We need to be able to blend into the crowd. But we still get tattoos. A blue arrow up our spine and pointing the the bottom of our necks."

Fong stroked his beard. "A compromise between tradition and survival, eh? Admirable, to say the least."

Anil looked across the room at everyone. There didn't seem to be any women among the Earth Kingdom soldiers. Some of them were getting fresh with the women from Anil's ship, but they were quickly shut down. Anil was pretty sure Zenji even threatened one of them when they tried flirting with her.

"So where are you guys hiding out?" Fong asked. "I hear you guys are all kind of scattered."

Anil shook his head. "If I told you that, it wouldn't be hiding. Don't take it personally; we don't tell _anybody_. We're on the edge of extinction. I'm sure you can understand."

Fong nodded. "Haha, that I do. You guys are smart, I'll give you that much."

Zenji leaned over, clearly bored with whatever conversation she had been a part of. "What about you guys? It's rare to see Earth Kingdom ships this far South. You go much further and you'll run into the Southern Water Tribe."

"What's left of it anyway…" Anil muttered.

"We're scouting," Fong replied. "Trying to see how far the Fire Nation's reach actually is."

"Well, you won't find much down here," Zenji said. "Besides the occasional cocky crew trying to hunt us down for glory, there hasn't been much action down here since they basically decimated the Southern Water Tribe."

"It's a good thing we came down anyway," Fong said. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to meet your fine men and women!"

Anil managed to smile, but for some reason, something about this man was putting him on edge. He just couldn't place his finger on it. Assuming it was the alcohol, he shook his head. He had had too many drinks, and it was hot and noisy in the dining hall. He needed a breather. "Excuse me a moment," Anil said standing up. Zenji gave him a quick look, but then slid into his spot to converse with Fong.

As Anil climbed the stairs out of the dining hall, he let out a sigh of relief as the clamor slowly died away. When he reached the main deck, it was nothing but faint rumble in the background.

There was a crescent moon, just enough light for him to make out his surroundings. Anil stood at the edge of the ship and opened up his arms, letting the cool breeze wash over him. After a few minutes, he put his arms back down and smiled, feeling much more clear headed than before.

He was about to return when he heard some yelling from the other end of the ship. It didn't sound like someone yelling in distress. It sounded angrier, like someone letting off some steam. Curious as to what was going on, he approached the source of the noise. As he got closer, the sounds of a whip and of rattling chains became audible. Anil increased his pace until he came upon a door, orange light pouring out through the edges. Anil opened the door and involuntarily froze in horror.

Two of the Earth Kingdom soldiers were standing in the middle of the small room. One of them was holding a cat-o-nines, blood dripping from steadily from it. In the corner of the room, there was a cowering, naked young man, his arms and back bloodied by the beating. He was trembling so hard that his chains continued to rattle loudly.

Immediately after Anil opened the door, the soldiers paused and turned to see the intruder. "Hey…" the one with the whip slurred. "Aren't you that airbending captain?"

Anil was speechless for a moment, his mind uncomprehending of the scene before him. "W-what is going on here!?"

"What…? This thing?" The other soldier kicked the hapless man, eliciting a startled whimper from him. "The Fire Nation killed Lee," he said bitterly. "We're just returning the favor."

"Yeah… savage monsters, the lot of them." The first soldier offered Anil the whip. "You wanna a turn? I promise it'll make you feel better."

Anil felt nauseous at the mere suggestion. "What on Earth did this boy do to deserve this!?" Slapping away the offered whip, Anil approached the young man, kneeling in front of him. His heart ached as the wretch whimpered at the proximity and tried to press himself deeper into the corner. "I'm not going to hurt you…" Anil said quietly, gently placing a hand on the young man's head.

The soldiers behind him were asking what he was doing, but Anil ignored them. All he could do was stare at the tight manacles that encased the man's wrists and ankles. After a moment, the man slowly looked up, glancing at Anil with pure confusion. Anil's vision swayed at the sight of the horrific burn scar occupying one half of his face and deep laceration scars occupying the other.

But when Anil's vision cleared and he continued to look at the man's face, one thing became very clear. This wasn't a man; this was a _child_.

"Hey! We're talking to you!"

A large hand grabbed Anil's shoulder and hauled him up. The soldier shoved him away towards the door, yelling, "If you're not going to _use_ the little brat, then get out and let us enjoy ourselves!"

"This is a _child_!" Anil nearly screamed. "What gives you the right to torture him!?"

"Ugh, just get out!"

One of the soldiers shoved Anil with an unexpected amount of force. Anil landed hard on his back, the door slammed shut before he could get back up. Quickly getting back on his feet, Anil tried to open it again, but found that it was locked. The soldiers started to laugh on the other side as they resumed their beating. Anil banged on the door, screaming at them to stop. He tried to use his airbending, but it wasn't enough to move the metal door.

His heart pounding in his ears, his breathing labored and quick, Anile could feel a hot anger starting to surge up inside. He turned around and ran to the dining hall. There's no way Fong didn't know about this. And Anil was determined to get to the bottom of it, no matter what it took.

Upon entering the dining hall, he was hit by the wall of noise and laughter. And there was Fong, in the middle of it all. His boisterous laugh audible even above the din. Anil's expression twisted in a snarl. This was Fong's ship. A boy was being tortured on _his_ ship and here he was: _laughing_.

The ambiance seemed to slowly die away, leaving behind only the echo of the whip in Anil's mind.

Anil grabbed his staff from where it rest against the wall. Zenji seemed to be the only one who noticed his return. She was barely able to express her confusion before Anil spun his staff over his head and slammed it on the ground. A sphere of air exploded from his staff, sweeping outward through the room and effectively silencing everyone.

They all stared at him in confusion. Some in fear when they recognized the rage emanating from him. Anil paid them no heed, only staring at Fong. For a moment, he said nothing, his anger too great to allow him to form words. But then, he found his voice. "What kind of _animal_ are you?"

No one said a word. Fong seemed unfazed by the question. "Perhaps if you could specify what it is that has made you so angry," he responded calmly.

"Who is that boy?" Anil asked. There was a slight tremor in his voice, but otherwise he kept it level. "And what gives you the right to keep him chained and tortured on your ship?"

While his eyes never left Fong's face, he could see some of the others' reaction to his statement. His crew's confusion was only increased, while the Earth Kingdom soldiers only smiled or nodded in understanding. He didn't see any remorse or guilt among them.

Fong chuckled. "You can calm down, Anil. That _boy_ is Fire Nation. Let's just say, he came from a very prominent Fire Nation family." He leaned back in his seat. "Our original goal was to use him to get some of our prisoners of war released. But the family refused. So then we had a useless hostage. Well… not completely useless. After everything the Fire Nation has done to us and our families... we decided we deserved a little payback." He gave a little shrug. "It's been good for everyone's morale."

Anil couldn't believe what he was hearing. Fong wasn't even _trying_ to defend himself. He saw nothing wrong in what he was allowing to happen. "Well not anymore," Anil said. "I'm taking that boy with me."

Fong let out a bark of laughter. "If you need to let off some steam, you can do it on my ship."

"I am not going to _beat_ some helpless child! I'm going to take him away from you and show him some semblance of humanity."

Fong's expression darkened. "That _child_, as you call him, is a monster. A savage, just like any other Fire Nation citizen. He comes from a family and a nation of monsters… so that's precisely how he deserves to be treated."

Anil saw Zenji slowly grabbing her staff, looking at Fong's back with disgust. "I'm not leaving this ship without him," Anil declared.

Fong bowed his head with a small nod. "I understand."

He suddenly took an earthbending stance and launched his stone chair at Anil. Anil leaned back and easily dodged. He swung out his staff, knocked back nearly all the Earth Kingdom soldiers with a single slice of airbending. He was about launch himself at Fong when he realized that Zenji had already taken care of him.

Fong had been pushed back against the wall, held there by the point of Zenji's staff, which was a pointed blade. "You will release that boy to us," Zenji growled.

Fong looked down at her staff. "Air Nomads don't kill unless they're threatened."

"You're thinking of the pre-war Air Nomads," Zenji explained. "We, on the other hand, have no problem killing bastards like you."

Anil, who also had his staff facing Fong, looked around and saw everyone gearing for a fight. But he saw something a bit disturbing amongst his own crew. Uncertainty. They were on guard against the Earth Kingdom soldiers, but were looking at Anil and Zenji with uncertainty. They were doubting his decision.

Knowing this was not the time to address this issue, he again addressed Fong. "You're coming with me to that room... and you're going to order those men in there to unlock his chains and hand him over to us. Once we're all back on our ship, we will go our separate ways and never see each other ever again. Understood?"

Fong didn't respond for a moment. He was weighing his options, seeing if this was all worth a fight that could very likely end up with casualties on both sides. After a minute of silence, he slowly nodded. "Understood."

Zenji kept her staff very close to Fong's neck as they slowly marched to the other side of the ship. Anil's crew kept the other soldiers separated from them, though Anil was confident that Fong's agreement would be enough to prevent the soldiers from attacking them. Even so, that didn't ease the thick tension that hung in the air.

When they arrived at the room, Anil could no longer hear the sound of the whip, but he could still hear the two men laughing inside, occasionally yelling at the boy. Fong knocked on the steel door, announcing his presence.

"Remember…" Zenji whispered to Fong, "I could remove all breathable air from your lungs in a _second_."

The door was opened by the man who had held the whip. In the background, Anil could see the other man holding up a chain that was wrapped around the boy's neck. The boy was weakly clawing at the chain, face purple and gasping for breath.

"Captain Fong?" the first soldier questioned.

"Let the boy go," Fong said quietly.

Clearly confused, the soldier simply replied, "What?"

"I said let him go!" Fong ordered sternly.

The other soldier dropped the chain in his hand, the boy falling bonelessly to the ground. Anil handed his staff to Zenji and rushed forward as the boy continued to gasp for breath. Anil grabbed the chain and started to unwrap it. The boy flinched and shied away from him. "Shh… it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you…"

"Captain, what's going on?" one of the soldiers asked.

Fong waited a moment before answering. "The brat will be given to Anil and his crew."

"But Captain…!"

"Silence! Don't you _dare_ question me!"

When Anil finished unwrapping the chain, the boy sputtered and coughed, taking deep labored breaths. "Where's the key to his manacles?" Anil demanded.

Fong bitterly grabbed a ring of keys from his belt and pulled one of the keys off. He threw it carelessly in Anil's direction.

Anil grabbed the key and made quick work of the boy's restraints. By the time he threw the last one aside, he noticed that the boy was staring at him wide-eyed. He was rubbing his wrists where the manacles had been and swallowing compulsively. Anil tried to smile and make the boy feel more at ease, though he doubted it would work. He unclipped his cape, wrapped it around the emaciated body and picked him up. The boy gasped and whimpered, but with all the Earth Kingdom soldiers geared for a fight, Anil didn't have time ease the boy into this sudden change.

Maintaining his glare on Fong, Anil slowly carried the boy back on the main deck. Each step towards his ship felt like a hundred miles. He knew it was only a limited distance, so he focused on just putting each foot in front of the other. The trembling bag of bones in his arms could wait until they were on his ship and safely away from Fong's.

When they got to the ramp, Anil waited until all of his crew besides Zenji had gone across before crossing himself. Zenji followed closely behind him, keeping both staffs pointing at Fong. Anil saw that his crew immediately began preparations to sail, for which he was grateful for.

Once Zenji was on the ship and the ramp removed, Zenji yelled over, "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

If there was a response, they didn't hear it. For Anil's part, he didn't move from where he stood until he felt the familiar sway of the ship as it departed. Even then, he didn't tear his eyes from Fong's ship until it was just a speck in the distance.

Zenji stood beside him, holding his staff out to him. "Want this back?"

"Put it in my quarters," Anil said. "And tell the helmsman to take the Viperspider Route. It'll take a couple extra days to get home, but we don't want to be followed."

Zenji nodded. "Yes, sir."

As she walked off, Anil finally looked down at the cargo in his arms. The boy hadn't made a sound since Anil had first picked him up. He was still trembling violently, grasping his head with both hands. When Anil looked back up, he saw some of the crew staring at him, the question in their eyes echoing the one in his head…

_Now what?_

* * *

**What did you guys think? Do you want me to continue? Review and let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey all!  
**

**So there seems to be a bit of interest. Not much, but, eh. I really enjoy writing this story, so I guess I'll just keep writing until either interest dies out or I'm done with it (and by done, I mean finished the story).**

**I apologize for the lack of Aang in this chapter. But there is a bit of Zuko angst, so that should be nice :)**

**Enjoy Chapter 2!**

* * *

It wasn't until Anil handed the boy over to the healers that he realized he was shaking. Rattled and restless, he went to the bridge to oversee their route, desperately needing something to occupy his mind. However, it wasn't even fifteen minutes before one of the junior healers, Ceba approached him.

"Captain… The boy is refusing to cooperate," she said. "We can't treat his wounds effectively until he's been cleaned, but he won't listen to anything we say."

"Well... yes," Zenji said. "That's not really surprising. The boy is probably terrified."

"Well, we can't treat him if he refuses to be helped," Ceba said.

"Aren't healers supposed to be _patient_?" Zenji replied coldly.

"_Enough_," Anil said sternly. "Zenji, keep watch here. Ceba, let me see him."

As Anil followed Ceba, he thought over the brief exchange between Ceba and Zenji. He had to admit, he agreed with Zenji. Ceba did seem to be acting a little cold in regards to the boy. It was especially strange, since Ceba was usually the most patient and kind of the healers. Everyone loved her and her optimistic disposition. Anil couldn't think of a reasonable explanation for her shortness. Maybe it was because she had spent all day healing the wounded from the earlier battle. There was only so much even the most patient of people could take.

Anil ignored the voice in his head quietly telling him what the _real_ reason was.

As they got closer, Anil could hear the other healers and the edge of impatience to their voices.

"You're not doing yourself any favors by hiding under there!"

"Maybe if we just pulled him out…?"

"And risk getting burned? Ha! I don't think so…"

Anil walked in and found the head healer, Kohn-Ma, standing near the bath. The other junior healer, Lhamu, was kneeling next to a table. Undernearth the table, pressed against the wall, was the boy. His previous state of unawareness had apparently worn off, leaving him confused and scared. He had a death grip on Anil's cape, his eyes flickering back and forth between Kohn-Ma and Lhamu.

"Do you require assistance?" Anil asked.

Kohn-Ma turned and stood a little straighter. "Captain! I wasn't expecting you…"

"Ceba says you were having a bit of trouble."

Kohn-Ma sighed. "Yes, well… the boy seems to be determined to cause as much grief as possible."

Anil frowned at the statement. "I see… May I try and help?"

Kohn-Ma nodded. "Of course. Just be careful. I fear he may be volatile."

"Of course he's volatile," Anil said. "It was less than an hour ago he was being beaten and choked. I'm sure he's horribly disoriented."

Lhamu stood and stepped away as Anil slowly kneeled and looked under the table. He made eye contact with the boy and smiled. "Hey, kiddo," he said quietly. "How are you doing…?" He knew it was a stupid question, but he still felt the need to ask it.

The boy didn't say anything. He looked down at the cape that was wrapped around him then back up at Anil. Still trembling, he slowly started to take the cape off.

"Hey, hey, it's okay… You don't need to give it back. Besides, you should probably keep it until we find clothes that will fit you."

The boy frowned slightly. Then he shook his head slightly, showing he didn't understand.

Anil was about to repeat himself when Kohn-Ma sighed loudly, making the boy take a sharp intake of breath and cowering further against the wall.

Biting his lip, Anil turned to the healer and said, "Could you guys leave for a bit? I think he's overwhelmed."

Kohn-Ma didn't seem pleased, but bowed nonetheless and left, the junior healers following behind her. Once the door was closed, Anil turned back to the boy. "That's better, don't you think?"

The boy didn't respond, though his trembling did seem to cease slightly.

"Do you…" Anil hesitated, not wanting to sound condescending. "Do you understand me?"

The boy looked up, his eyes clearing a bit. He gave a single nod.

"Can you speak?"

He looked down at his hands. There was a long pause before Anil heard a quiet _yes_.

Anil adjusted himself so he was sitting on the ground instead of kneeling. "Look, I know you're scared. And you have every reason to be. I don't… I don't know how long you were on Fong's ship. Or the extent of…" Anil stopped himself and sighed. "I wish I could prove to you that I'm not going to hurt you, but I can't give you anything beyond my word." He turned to look at the bathtub. "We want to treat your injuries and help you get better. But it's difficult to do if you're not cleaned. We don't want you to get an infection." He turned back to the boy, who was also looking at the tub. "Will you let me help you?"

The boy looked back at Anil. There was still fear and uncertainty in his eyes, but there was also just a glimmer of something else: hope. Biting his lip, the boy gave a small nod. "Okay…" he said, barely above a whisper.

Anil gave a genuine smile. "Alright then." He stood up and offered the boy a hand. The boy stared at it for a moment before shakily crawling forward and taking it. Anil carefully pulled him up and helped him steady himself into a standing position. The boy had to lean heavily against the table, but he managed to stay standing. "Sorry the water is going to be a bit cold," Anil said.

The boy shrugged as he slowly put his hand in the water. "It's good…" he muttered. He took Anil's cape off and gently set it on the table. He stared at it and his eyes began to water. "S-sorry I got... b-b-blood on it…"

Anil couldn't help but look at the dozens fresh of cuts and lacerations that decorated the boy's body. "Don't worry about. Really."

Anil helped the boy into the water. It was cold, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, his expression relaxed as his body was submerged. Anil pulled up a stool, holding soap and a cloth. "I'm sure you're capable of washing yourself, but I need to make sure your cuts are cleaned out properly before we bandage them."

The boy just nodded and leaned forward, giving Anil easier access.

As Anil slowly cleaned his wounds, he tried hard not to cry as his hands coasted over the ribbed and bumpy texture of the boy's skin. There were layers upon layers of scars. It didn't seem a single inch had ever spared. There were even burn scars, but none of them were as bad on the one on the child's face. Needing to distract himself, he was about the address the boy when he realized he didn't even know his name. Anil almost cursed at himself. It shouldn't have taken him so long to ask the boy such a simple, _humanizing_, thing. A little ashamed, he asked as casually as possible, "What's your name?"

The boy stiffened, but didn't immediately respond. He curled into himself and sighed. "Fong… he said I don't h-have a name. I'm just..." He stopped.

"You're just what?" Anil encouraged quietly.

The boy wrapped his arms around himself. "_Just a monster_," he barely murmured.

Anil pressed his fingernails into the palm of his hand, trying to keep his anger at Fong hidden. All it would do is scare the boy. "_Fong_ is the monster," Anil said. "Fong and all those other men who ever hurt you."

The boy just shrugged and looked away, clearly not believing Anil.

Anil shook his head. He wasn't going to reverse the effects of years of torture in a single day. He needed to be patient. "Do you remember the name your parents gave you?"

The boy nodded, but said nothing.

"I understand that this might be uncomfortable..." Anil said. "But I'd like to call you something other than 'boy'. And I'm certainly not going to call you _monster_ or anything else of the like."

The boy just looked down at the now brownish water and said quietly, "I don't want to get in trouble..."

Anil tried to place a hand on the boy's uninjured shoulder, but the boy just gasped and flinched away.

"I'm sorry!" the boy croaked out, his breathing quickening. "I… I d-didn't...!"

"Hey, hey! It's okay…!" Anil instinctively put his hand on the boy's hair, stroking the dirty mats down. The boy flinched slightly, but as Anil continued to softly shush him, his breathing started to slow again. "See? You're alright..."

The boy looked up at Anil, once again with tears in his eyes. He shakily raised his arm and barely touched Anil's hand, which was still resting on his head. "I d-don't… u-understand…" he said.

Anil sighed. "I know you don't. And that's okay. It'll come with time."

The boy frowned slightly, clearly just more confused. But he seemed calm enough for Anil to finish cleaning him up. So he grabbed the sponge again and went back to cleaning. "We should try washing your hair out; it's filthy. Though we may just have to cut it…"

"Zuko," the boy muttered.

Anil stopped, leaning to the side slightly to make eye contact. "Sorry?"

"My name… it's Zu…" He took a deep breath. "Zuko."

Anil frowned slightly, something about the name sounding awfully familiar. But he quickly smiled, not wanting to discourage the boy. "Zuko… It's a good name. A strong name."

Zuko just shrugged, watching the water move as he waved his hands under the surface.

They finished cleaning most of Zuko up. Anil tried washing out his hair as best as he could, but came to the conclusion that they were just going to have to cut it short. Zuko asked timidly if Anil would cut it instead of one of the healers. Anil said he could, but to not expect it to actually look decent.

If Zuko's hair had actually been cared for at all, it probably would have been quite long. However, after Anil was done with it, there was only about an inch of hair left. Zuko didn't seem to mind. In fact, after Anil was done, he actually smiled slightly, running his fingers through his clean hair.

Anil was cleaning up when the healers returned. As soon as the door opened, Zuko hunched back over and made himself smaller, lowering his gaze to the ground. Anil was a little disappointed to see Zuko withdraw back into himself, but was also unsurprised.

He needed to check in with the helmsman and make sure they were taking an appropriately evasive path to lose Fong, so he left Zuko with the healers, knowing they would take care of him.

When he got back to the bridge, he went over their route again. Fong had said they were scouting, which meant that he and his crew were most likely unfamiliar with the area. Even if they were, the route Anil's ship was taking was treacherous and best left for only the most experienced of crews.

When he gave his final approval, Zenji came up behind him and whispered, "We have a problem."

Anil stood back up and gave her a small frown. "What kind of problem?"

She looked around the bridge and said, "We need to talk privately."

In the back of his mind, Anil knew what this was about. But maintaining optimism, he nodded and they both left the bridge, heading to his quarters. It wasn't until he closed the door behind them that Zenji proclaimed, "I hate our enclave."

"So you've told me. Many times."

"And for good reason! I've always known that they were close minded and petty, but tonight is just appalling and disgusting!"

"Keep your voice down," Anil warned. "It's not like my room is soundproof."

Zenji did lower her voice, but the venom was still there. "I don't know how my parents could stand these people…"

Anil took a deep breath, anticipating what this was about. "What happened to set you off, Zenji?"

Zenji scowled. "The crew doesn't say anything when you're around because you're the captain. However, their lips aren't so tight when it's just me in the background. They all think rescuing that boy was a mistake. I even heard a couple of them saying we should have just let him rot on Fong's ship."

Anil closed his eyes, his suspicions being confirmed. The signs were there, from the looks of doubt his crew had back on Fong's ship, to the outright dismissal by Ceba and Kohn-Ma. He should have known this would have happened. Everyone in his enclave had lost a loved one, including himself, to the Fire Naiton. Bitterness and a wish for revenge is one of the reasons his people came with him on these patrols. It was the reason _he_ started going on these patrols.

He had just held out hope that his people would be better than this. That they would see past their own prejudices and pain for the sake of a child.

"Anil…" Zenji warned. "The elders might not allow the boy to stay in the enclave."

"His name is Zuko," Anil said quietly, starting to feel powerless.

Zenji stared at him for a moment, her expression of anger quickly morphing into one of incredulity. "_What?_" Zenji practically hissed.

Anil frowned, confused by Zenji's reaction. "What's wrong?"

"You haven't told anyone, right?!"

Anil thought about it for a moment before cursing himself again. "Damn! I probably should have told the healers…"

"No! No, you shouldn't have!" Zenji ran to the door and opened it, looking up and down the corridor to make sure no one else was there.

"Zenji, what's the problem?"

She closed the door and looked at Anil like he was an idiot. "Doesn't the name '_Zuko_' ring any bells up there in that big head of yours?"

Realizing he was missing something very important, he slowly shook his head. "I mean, I recognize it... but I don't remember where I've heard it from…"

"'_Zuko_' was the name of the Fire Nation's crowned prince!"

Anil just stared at Zenji for a moment, before letting out a small nervous laugh. "No… it can't be the same Zuko. The crowned prince was killed over five years ago."

"Yes, he had been kidnapped and killed by _Earth Kingdom_ soldiers."

It was hard to argue the circumstances, but Anil shook his head. "It _can't_ be him. If it _is_ him, then…"

"... then our people are going to tear him apart," Zenji said. "Anil… '_Zuko_' isn't exactly a common Fire Nation name. Fong said himself that they kidnapped him from a prominent family. There's almost no chance it's _not_ him."

Anil thought about the scars that covered Zuko's body, the feeling of nausea and vertigo washing over him as he realized it was _five years_ worth of abuse. Five years of being chained and isolated in a cage. Five years of being beaten and tormented. Five years of being psychologically tortured just for being born into the wrong family.

For a child, five years is practically a lifetime.

"His family is directly responsible for the plight of the Air Nomads," Zenji continued. "We have to talk to him and make sure he doesn't tell anybody else his name."

"And then what?" Anil asked. "Force him to hide his identity forever? He's already got enough identity issues. He thinks he's a monster, Zenji."

"Not forever. Just until we can find a way to maybe ease the enclave into it. But we can't rush it. It could mean his life. I'm sorry, Anil. There's no easy solution to this. This was going to be hard enough when he was just a normal Fire Nation boy."

Anil pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. After all the alcohol and adrenaline, he was starting to fade. "I'll talk to him after the healers are done…"

Zenji took one good look at her captain and shook her head. "No, _I'll_ talk to him. You need to get some sleep."

"I'm fine. And besides, who put you in charge?"

"You did. Anil... you look like you're about to collapse. You had way more sake than I did, and you're not accustomed to it. If you want to get us back home safely, you need to take care of yourself. Let me take care of Zuko tonight. Besides, it'll be good for him to know there's more than one person on his ship who cares."

Anil wanted to argue, but knew Zenji was not in a negotiating mood. She was still angry at the rest of the crew, and there was no arguing with her when she was angry. "_Fine_."

Zenji smiled and went to leave. As she opened the door she said, "For the record, rescuing that boy _was_ the right decision," then left without waiting for a response.

Anil stared at the door for a moment before his exhaustion caught up with him and made him sit down on his bed. His mind wanted to run through every possible scenario the next day might bring, but the overwhelming number of possibilities left him surprisingly thoughtless.

Burying his face into his hands, he let out a deep sigh. Honestly, he just wanted to get back home and see his son. Ignore everything that's just happened and continue on with his life. But that wasn't an option anymore. It would be downright cruel to leave Zuko to his own devices in his current mental state. Especially if Zenji was right about the crew's animosity towards him.

Lying back on his bed, he could feel the heavy pull on his eyelids. Finally deciding to give in, he closed his eyes and immediately fell asleep.

* * *

_They're almost done, they're almost done, they're almost done…_

Zuko sat on the table as still as possible, concentrating on this one thought as the healers applied salve and bandages to his wounds. He gripped the edge of Anil's cape as tightly as he could, bracing himself for the inevitable. Every time one of the healers touched him, he expected the beating to begin or to be yanked off and used as target practice. The older healer, Kohn-Ma, kept scolding him for flinching. He tried to stop, but he couldn't seem to control it. In fact, his flinching only seemed to get worse as Kohn-Ma got increasingly more annoyed.

"It's okay…" Lhamu said to Kohn-Ma. "I'm sure he's just nervous…"

"We're trying to _help_ him. The least this ungrateful little bastard could do is at least try and show some appreciation."

_Fong grabbed Zuko's hair and pulled his head back and lightly stroked Zuko's face with the edge of his blade. "And what do we say to our benefactors?"_

"Th-thank you…" Zuko managed to stuttered out.

Kohn-Ma looked down at him with annoyance. "What did you say, boy?"

Zuko's vision blurred and his throat seemed to close up. "Th-thhh… th-th-than…"

"Speak _louder_ if you want to be heard," Kohn-Ma said exasperatedly.

"Sifu, you're scaring him!" Lhamu said.

"Why do you care?" Ceba said. "He's Fire Nation. Have you _forgotten_ what they've done to our people? They killed your sister, for spirit's sake!"

"... It's not like _this_ boy killed Choden…" Lhamu responded timidly.

"Enough, both of you," Kohn-Ma said. "The sooner we finish, the sooner we can go to bed."

"Yes, sifu," they both replied.

Kohn-Ma looked down at the cape Zuko was grasping and sneered. "Is this Captain Anil's?" She yanked the cape out of Zuko's hands and examined it. "Ugh… You got your blood and filth all over it…" She tossed it into the waste basket before glaring at Zuko, who was trembling and cowering away from her. "I'm going to have to ask you not to touch other people's things, or else - "

"Or else _what_, Kohn-Ma?"

Zuko looked up and saw another woman standing in the doorway. She was holding clothes and currently glaring at Kohn-Ma, which confused him. Why would this woman be angry at the healer?"

"Ah, Zenji. How do you do this fine evening?"

"Cut the crap, Kohn-Ma." The woman, Zenji, walked in and set the clothes down on another table. "I'd call you a prejudiced bitch, but somehow, that just doesn't quite cut it. It doesn't _quite_ get across the fact that you're more mean-spirited than the average person on this ship. Which, I might add, is saying something."

Kohn-Ma's jaw dropped in disbelief and she sputtered for a few moments before Ceba chimed in. "What gives you the right to talk to sifu that way!?"

"I am not in the mood for this," Zenji warned. "Don't forget that while you're on this ship, I am your _superior_."

When she looked at Zuko, he quickly looked away, not wanting to incur her wrath.

"Are you done patching the boy up?"

"Yes," Lhamu said quickly.

"Good. Now get out. I don't want to see your faces until morning."

The healers all bowed and did as they were told, begrudgingly on Kohn-Ma and Ceba's part. Zuko heard the door shut behind them and he started to panic upon realizing that he was alone with Zenji. _I guess this is when it starts…_

When she started to walk towards him, Zuko closed his eyes and braced himself. _It'll be over soon, it'll be over soon…_

"I'm not going to hurt you."

Zuko's eyes snapped open, startled that he was being spoken too. Still trembling, he slowly looked up to find Zenji standing right in front of him. He leaned back a bit, suddenly realizing she how incredibly tall she was.

The glare was gone, replaced by stern but surprisingly soft expression. She held the clothes out to him. "You're kind of scrawny, but these should do for now. Once we get back to the enclave, we'll be able to find clothes that fit you better."

Zuko stared at the offering, confusion once again assaulting him. Clothes… actual clothes… He reached out to grab them before he remembered Kohn-Ma's warning.

Seeing his hesitation, Zenji let out an annoyed sigh. "You should ignore whatever Kohn-Ma told you. She's a fine healer, but an absolute bitch to everyone. Even forty years later, she's still bitter about her husband running away with the Water Tribe girl."

He was still uncertain, but it didn't seem like this was some sort of trick. He timidly grabbed the clothes and held them to his chest. It was such a strange feeling: being clean and holding clean clothes.

Zenji gave a small laugh. "You can put them on, you know."

Zuko looked up at her for a moment before nodding. He carefully got off the table and started to dress himself.

"By the way…" Zenji said. "While you get dressed, there's something I need to talk to you about. That is… Anil told me your name is Zuko. Is that right?"

Zuko gave her a quick glance followed by a nod.

She sighed. "Okay… I just want you to answer one question for me then. Is Firelord Ozai your father?"

Zuko froze at the name. A name he hadn't heard in a very long time. _His father…?_ It was hard to think of that man as his father. Truth be told, Zuko hardly remembered what he _looked_ like. Besides, Ozai ceased seeing him as a son years ago.

But that wasn't his immediate concern. If this woman knew who he was, who he _really_ was, would everything change? Would her expression morph into one of disgust? Would she start beating him with her staff that was strapped to her back? But what could he do? He could lie. But if they ever found out that he lied, it could end up so much worse for him. Besides, if she was asking, that probably meant she already knew.

He slowly finished getting dressed, stalling for as long as possible. When he was done, he stood back up, still leaning against the table for support. Meeting her gaze, Zuko gave a very slow nod. "I… I-I'm sorry…"

"It's alright," Zenji said with a sigh. "It's not your fault your father's a monster." Zuko flinched at the word '_monster_'. "But this means we have a bigger problem. You need to hide your identity."

Zuko frowned. "W-what?"

"Your family has hurt a lot of people. The Air Nomads especially. If the rest of crew finds out who you really are, you'll be in grave danger."

Well, of course. Everyone hates him. He was a worthless bastard born of a family of monsters. Why _wouldn't_ anyone want to hurt him?

But Zenji was acting as though she cared. It was like Anil. Why did these two seem to care so much? They knew who he was and they didn't try to hurt him. Why? Maybe it _was_ an elaborate trick.

"Do you understand me, Zuko?" Zenji asked. "Do you understand that you can't tell _anyone_ on this ship your name?"

"Yes…" he replied, which was true. He understood what she was asking him to do. He just didn't understand _why_.

Zenji smiled. "Good. We'll be back at the enclave in a few days. In the meantime, let's find you a place to sleep."

_A place to sleep?_ Zuko closed his eyes and shook his head. He had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation. It would explain the way Zenji and Anil were treating home. Only in some sort of fantasy would people actually care about him, treat him like he was human.

He was going to fall asleep on this ship and wake up chained and back in his cage. It was simple as that.

* * *

**Aang will be next chapter :) (which I will post probably early next week). Review and let me know what you guys think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, everyone!**

**This is where Aang gets introduced. I'm hoping I'm doing his character justice, I'm not used to him being 'normal' XP**

**Enjoy Chapter 3!**

* * *

Anil leaned over the side of the ship, enjoying the sight of their settlement in the distance. In just a couple of hours, he would be back home with his son. Of course, he would also have to give a full report to the elders within the next couple of days, which he was not looking forward to.

These last few days had been without incident, for which he was very grateful for. They had told the crew that Zuko had not given them any sort of name, making up excuses such that he might not remember. Even still, Anil could sense the hostility most of the crew held for Zuko. Once Zenji pointed it out to him, he started noticing the offhand comments and the pointed glares at both himself and Zuko everywhere. The day after the whole incident, Anil had tried to encourage Zuko to walk around the ship. He thought getting the boy to walk around in the open air might be good for him. However, Zuko had refused to leave the room, nearly panicking at the mere suggestion. Anil hadn't pushed the issue since. In retrospect, that had probably been for the best.

He and Zenji had decided that Zuko should stay at her place. Zenji lived by herself, and her home was fairly removed from the rest of the enclave, so it was ideal. Anil would take Zuko in himself, but he wasn't sure how Zuko would handle being around his overactive son.

Usually there was a hum of excitement throughout the ship when they were about to land. However, that excitement was overshadowed by tension and anticipation of what the elders' ultimate decision was going to be.

Once they got into their port, Zenji oversaw the disembarkation, while Anil took it upon himself to try and get Zuko to finally leave his room. Quite frankly, Zuko had no choice in the matter; he had to leave the ship tonight.

When Anil entered Zuko's room, the boy was sitting on his bed, hands clenched together on his lap. When he saw Anil, he said quietly, "We're docked somewhere."

Anil nodded. "We're at my enclave. This is my home." He wanted to say that this was Zuko's home now as well, but he didn't want to give any false hopes until he spoke to the elders and made sure there wasn't going to be any trouble.

Zuko looked at the door where the sounds of disembarking and unloading could be heard from. "What're you going to do with me?"

Anil kneeled down in front of Zuko, placing a hand on his knee. "You're going to stay with Zenji, at least for a little bit. After that… well, we'll just have to see."

Zuko frowned. "Zenji lives in the enclave?"

Anil nodded.

"Off the ship?"

Anil frowned in confusion. "Of course she lives off the ship…"

Zuko took in a shaky breath. "Which means… I h-have to leave the ship?"

Anil nodded again. "We can wait. You don't have to leave until the ship and port are clear if that'll make you more comfortable."

Zuko looked out the window, more anxious than usual, then looked down at his hands nervously.

"Zuko… if there's something bothering you, you can tell me."

The young man shook his head. "It's nothing…"

Anil wanted keeping pressing for an answer, but knew that was a bad idea. Besides, Zuko was probably scared and worried about _everything_ at the moment. It would take a lot longer than a few days to get him to relax and perhaps open up.

It took about an hour for the ship to be unloaded and for everyone to leave. Anil could hear the reunions occurring out the window. The voices of worry from the families of those who had been wounded. It made him anxious to see Aang, but he wanted to stay with Zuko until he was settled at Zenji's. If Aang was waiting at the port, Zenji would be able to explain that he was fine and would be out soon.

Zuko was feeling more lightheaded and nauseous as the time wore on. He could tell by the diminishing noise that Anil would want him to leave soon. He liked this room. When he fell asleep here, he had been surprised to find that he didn't wake back up on Fong's ship. Here, no one came in except Anil or Zenji. And since neither of them have hurt him (yet), this has been the only place Zuko has ever felt even a little bit safe.

But outside this room, outside this ship... it was all a complete unknown. Everything could change once he stepped outside. They were probably going to drag him off to a brand new cage to become the plaything for his new keepers. He briefly wondered how the Air Nomads' techniques would be different than the Earth Kingdom soldiers'.

"Alright," Anil said, looking out the window. "Everyone's gone." He turned to Zuko and smiled. "You ready?"

The honest answer was _no_, but Zuko didn't think Anil would take very kindly to that answer, so he just meekly nodded.

He followed Anil down the halls of the ship until they were finally at the entrance to the deck. When the light hit his eyes, they started to burn a little, but Zuko just wiped the tears away and kept pace closely behind Anil. It wasn't until they reached the ramp leading off the ship that true panic started to settle in.

Anil was halfway down the ramp when he realized that Zuko was no longer behind him. He turned around and found Zuko still standing at the top, holding onto the railing like a lifeline. "You're alright," Anil assured. "See? There's no one around that's going to hurt you."

For once, that wasn't why Zuko was panicking. He looked at the wooden port and the sandy beach. It was solid ground. Non-moving, invariant earth. He hadn't been on solid ground since before he was taken. He had been kept on Fong's ship ever since, never once leaving for any reason.

He realized it was ridiculous to be terrified of the ground. However, after years of being on a ship, solid ground seemed so… _foreign_.

"Dad!"

Zuko jumped at the unexpected exclamation. He looked up and saw a younger boy running down the port. The boy didn't even make it to the ramp before he airbent himself into the air and landed on the ramp in front of Anil. Anil picked the boy up with a large smile and hugged the boy tightly. "Aang! How are you doing?"

"We were worried," Aang said, his voice only slightly muffled by the fact that he had his face buried in his father's neck. "You guys are late! Everyone thought you guys might be dead…"

"I'm sorry I worried you…" Anil just held on to his son, silently reassuring him that he was fine.

Zuko watched the reunion with a dull ache in his chest. He had no idea that Anil had a son. He also had no idea that fathers who openly showed their affection actually _existed_.

Not that his father _had_ any affection for him to show.

_Fong grabbed Zuko by the collar of his shirt and pinned him against the wall, flashing a document in front of him. "What's the meaning of this!?"_

_Zuko tried to shove Fong off of him, but between the chains and the fact that Fong was just so much bigger than him, it was futile. "Meaning of what…?"_

_"You little shit…" Fong let go of him and paced the small room, staring at the paper. "You're just… **worthless** to me! What's the use of a hostage of no one wants him!?"_

_Zuko glared at the captain, getting very tired of his rants. "What're you talking about, you Earth scum!"_

_Fong stared at Zuko for a moment before letting out a bark of laughter. "Ha! You didn't even know, did you?"_

_"Know **what**?"_

_"That your own father doesn't even want you." Fong looked back down at the paper. "Says here that we've done him a favor by kidnapping you. That you were never any son of his and you're not even worth the life of a single lowly criminal, let alone three Earth Kingdom generals."_

_"You're lying!" Zuko yelled. "My father wants me to inherit the throne! He loves me and thinks…" He stopped, involuntarily remembering a dinner from the not too distant past._

**_Azula was born lucky. You were lucky to be born._**

_"You're lying…" Zuko repeated, not wanting to this man any satisfaction._

_"Wish I was, you bastard. Now I have a useless, Fire Nation monster on my ship. What good are you to me now?"_

_Fong dropped the letter on the ground and was about to leave when he stopped. He turned around, looking at Zuko thoughtfully. "I suppose you **could** serve some purpose…"_

"Zuko?"

Pulled back into the present, he found Anil and his son both staring at him. Anil looked concerned, but Aang was staring at him with a mixture of confusion and curiosity. After a few moments of awkward silence, Aang looked up at his father and said, "Dad, who is this?"

Anil internally cringed. He had wished he could have introduced Zuko to Aang in a more stable environment _after_ Zuko had settled in. Maybe explain the circumstance to Aang beforehand. He sighed. He supposed there was no helping it now. Anil just hoped his son would exercise more tact than usual.

"Aang, this is Zuko. He's going to being staying here at the enclave with Zenji."

Aang looked back at Zuko, unconsciously staring at his facial scars. "Did the Fire Nation hurt you?"

Zuko just stared back at the kid wordlessly. Usually when people first saw him, they would look at him in disgust or fear. It was understandable, his scars made him a hideous sight to behold. But the lack of either in this boy was beyond mindboggling. Then again, he _was_ Anil's son.

"Aang, you can talk to Zuko later. Now go back home. I'm need to take care of some business."

Aang kept his attention on Zuko. "You're going to be at Zenji's, right?"

Zuko simply nodded, at a loss for words.

"Then I'll come with you! If that's okay with you..."

"Aang..." Anil chastised. "You can't just invite yourself into Zenji's home…"

"Anil!"

Anil looked up to see Zenji running towards them. She looked worried, setting him on edge. "Zenji?"

Zenji came up to the end of the ramp and was about to say something when Aang blurted out, "Can I come over to your place, Zenji?"

Zenji looked at him for a moment, distracted by whatever she had been about to say. "What? Yeah, sure…"

"Awesome! Thanks!" Aang ran past his father and approached Zuko, who looked more perplexed than frightened. "You wanna hang out?"

This kid made no sense to Zuko. He seemed to actively want to get to know Zuko, but that was _insane_. Did this kid not understand? He had these scars for a reason. They were a warning; he's a monster and deserves only hatred and pain. But this boy was just ignoring all of this and was asking to… to _hang out?_

Zuko glanced up at Anil and saw that he was watching Zuko carefully. He was probably making sure Zuko didn't hurt his son. Looking back down at Aang, he knew he should probably give some sort of response. Searching for an answer that wouldn't anger anyone, he finally just said, "W-whatever you want…"

Anil was surprised to find that Aang's energy wasn't overwhelming Zuko like he thought it would. In fact, Zuko had relaxed and let go of the railing. It didn't occur to Anil the Zuko might be so bewildered by Aang's personality that it might distract him from his own fear and anxieties.

"Anil." Zenji placed a hand on Anil's shoulder. "You need to talk the elder's _now_. Word about Zuko is spreading throughout the enclave. Some of them have already started to appeal to the elders. You need to set the story straight before they make up their minds."

Anil glanced back at her for a moment before looking back at Zuko and Aang. He thought this might happen. He was hoping that maybe it would wait until tomorrow, but apparently the people of the enclave weren't willing to let the issue rest. "You'll watch after them? I'll probably be there for a while."

"Of course, you idiot," Zenji replied.

Anil smiled. "I have to ask."

"No... you don't."

* * *

After Anil went off to speak with the elders, Zenji led Zuko and Aang back to her home. Of course, Aang already knew where it was. He had spent quite a lot of time in her house. In the past, Anil and Zenji had both tried to encourage Aang to spend more time with his peers. That is, until they found that most of them treated Aang like an outcast. Aang had always been a prodigy when it came to airbending, and it seemed that the other kids (and some of their parents) were very jealous of this fact.

Zenji really did despise her people. Of course, she didn't know if _all_ airbenders were like this. With the Fire Nation still actively hunting down the Air Nomads, it was practically suicide for an airbender to travel alone, so there was no contact between the enclaves. Besides their scouting missions, she had never left the settlement. In fact, it was the main reason she went _on_ the missions. While most of the others were doing it for revenge, Zenji was doing it to get away from most of the enclave. While she was on the ship, she spent the majority of their time with Anil, who was the only other adult she actually liked. She had also liked Anil's wife, Sangmu. She had a down to earth individual with no filter, which Zenji had actually appreciated.

Sangmu had always thirsted for adventure. She hadn't content to stay in the enclave all the time. She had gone on scouting missions when she was younger to satisfy this thirst. However, after marrying Anil, he made her promise to stop going. To make up for this, she would occasionally go into the mountains to explore on her own. She would go about once a month, only for a day or two, to avoid getting too restless.

And then one day, she didn't come back. Search parties were sent after her, and they eventually found the charred remains of her body on a island miles away. Aang had been three years old.

Anil had been inconsolable. It was the first time in decades that someone had been killed by the Fire Nation and had _not_ been on a mission. It had shocked the whole enclave. However, as the months wore on, the rest of the enclave moved on with their lives and Anil was still a wreck. Zenji spent most of her time at his place, helping him take care of Aang, supporting him in anyway she could. It had been an incredibly long and hard road for Anil. Over a year after Sangmu's death, Anil volunteered to go on one of the scouting missions. Zenji was sure that it had been Anil's grief that had fueled him to become captain as young as he did.

"That's Zenji's place!" Aang announced. "I'll show you around!"

Pulled out of her thoughts, Zenji smiled as Aang grabbed Zuko's hand and yanked him towards her house. She wasn't sure what she found more entertaining: Aang's over enthusiasm or Zuko's reaction to it. Aang seemed to be just his normal self, not bothered at all by the scar-covered boy. Zuko, on the other hand, seemed to be at a loss for how to react to Aang.

Zuko allowed himself to be dragged by the young airbender. Aang spoke rapidly, explaining where all the rooms are, where he would probably stay, the kinds of food Zenji tended to eat, and more. Zuko couldn't keep track of most of it. He was more enthralled by how few pauses for breath Aang was taking.

After Aang had explained the entire house in painful detail, Zenji identified which room Zuko would be staying in. "I'm going to make some dinner for us. Keep your expectations low, Zuko. I'm not much of a cook."

Once she left, Aang immediately jumped onto the bed and laid down. "Zenji got this bed for me when I started staying over a lot. It's really nice. C'mon and try it!"

Zuko shook his head, instinctively stepping back. "I-If this is your room…"

"I mean, it's not _really_ my room. I don't stay here as much anymore. Besides, I have my own bedroom in my own house. You need it way more than I do."

Zuko looked around the room, struggling to comprehend that Zenji was just going to let him use this room. It wasn't very large, and it was sparsely decorated. There was a single mirror, a Pai Sho table, a small dresser, and of course, the bed.

_I don't deserve any of this._

However, Aang was still staring at him expectantly. And the bed _did_ look comfortable...

Slowly inching forward, Zuko bent down slightly and gently allowed his fingers to ghost the fabric of the bed. Encouraged by the lack of any negative reaction from Aang, he sat down, sinking slightly into the mattress.

It _was_ comfortable. Much more comfortable than the bed on the ship. Of course, even that bed had been a luxury compared to his previous accommodations.

Aang sat up fully, carefully observing Zuko. He wasn't stupid. It was obvious that Zuko had been through terrible things. He was pretty sure that it would be accurate to say that Zuko had been 'tortured', judging from his scars, though it wasn't a word Aang felt very comfortable using. He would be lying if he said he wasn't insanely curious what had happened to him. He also knew that it would be inappropriate to ask for details. Not to mention Aang wanted to avoid angering Zuko. Maybe he could ask roundabout questions to slowly get the story out of him? "So… did Dad and Zenji save you from the Fire Nation?"

Zuko didn't respond immediately, and Aang thought that perhaps his question had been too direct. But then the older boy shook his head. "No… from the Earth Kingdom."

Aang's eyes widened. "The Earth Kingdom? The _Earth Kingdom_? Why would the Earth Kingdom want to hurt you?" He had blathered out the question without any forethought, and as soon as Zuko's body went rigid, he immediately regretted it. "Sorry… you don't have to answer that. I understand that you might not want to talk about it."

Zuko turned to Aang with an incredulous expression. For a moment they just stared at each other, Aang trying his best to convey his sorriness. Then Zuko shook his head slowly. "You're very strange."

Aang smiled again, happy that Zuko didn't seem upset. "That's what everyone says."

* * *

Anil stood before the elders, hands held behind his back. He had just given them a detailed account of what had happened. He had included his revelation about Zuko's name and what it meant. He didn't want to leave anything out, knowing that doing so could make it all the more worse later. However, the elders seemed to be determined to remain closed-minded. While Monk Tashi was the most vocal, it was clear that most of the other elders were silently agreeing with him.

"None of this changes the fact that he's still Fire Nation," Monk Tashi said. "If what you say is true, then that means he is the _son_ of Firelord Ozai. The great-grandson of Firelord Sozin!"

"Who cares?" Anil said. "He didn't choose his family. The crowned prince was _eight_ when he was kidnapped. He has nothing to do with the war or the decisions that have been made."

"Don't be naïve," Monk Tashi said. "Foul blood runs through his veins. Nothing can change that fact. I propose we ship him far away from here in order to prevent the inevitable destruction of our enclave."

"That boy can barely _function,_ and you think he's a _threat_?" Anil nearly yelled.

"Anil…" Monk Pasang placated. "You have to understand that it's not just about the boy. We also have to consider the enclave. If the others are unwilling to accept him, I can't in good conscious allow him to stay. It would cause imbalance and put us in even further risk."

"We can't just cast Zuko out..." Anil said, almost pleading with the head monk. "After everything he's been through, to cast him away just after he's finally been shown some kindness would be cruel."

Monk Pasang sighed. "I understand where you're coming from. And I understand what you're trying to say. I really do." He paused, giving consideration to Anil's words. "The boy can stay."

The other elders turned to Monk Pasang, surprised and outraged. "Monk Pasang, you can't be serious!" Monk Tashi exclaimed.

"He can stay…" Monk Pasang repeated. "However, Anil… you will take full responsibility for the boy. No one else in this enclave is responsible for seeing to his needs, may they be physical or mental. If it becomes a serious problem, to the point where you are no longer capable of fulfilling your duty, then the boy must go."

Knowing that he couldn't have expected better, Anil bowed. "Thank you, Monk Pasang."

Monk Tashi turned his nose up at Anil. "You're going to regret your blind compassion for that Fire Nation scum when it literally backfires in your face!"

Anil turned to face the bitter Monk fully. He was unable to hold back the expression of contempt, appalled and sickened by the elders' reaction to Zuko's suffering. "I will _never_ regret my compassion for another human being."

* * *

**So what do you think? Review and let me know! I'll probably have another update by the end of the week!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, everyone!**

**I really am just eeking out these chapters, aren't I? I guess having a really detailed outline beforehand really does help!**

**Enjoy Chapter 4!**

* * *

Zuko was on the edge of panic. It had been over a week since they arrived at the enclave, and _nothing_ had happened. To a normal person, this may have been a good sign. However, to someone like Zuko, this was a nightmare.

No one had asked Zuko for _anything_. They hadn't even tried to let out their frustrations on him. In fact, all they've done is feed him, give him new clothes, and told him to relax. Zuko felt like a complete burden. He was taking up resources and giving nothing in return. He was desperate to try and find some way to be useful.

It seemed as though the universe was trying to give him a second chance. A chance to _prove_ that he could be better than the worthless monster that he was. And if he failed to take advantage of this second chance, everyone was going to realize what a waste of time he was. At that point, they'd probably give him back to Fong. And Zuko would do _anything_ to make sure that didn't happen. He would rather die than be put back into the dark.

For the last several days, Zuko had spend most of his time leaning out of his bedroom window, basking in the daylight. Firebenders got their energy from the Sun. Knowing this, Fong had purposefully kept Zuko in a completely sealed room with no light or windows. In addition to keep him weak, the permanent darkness had suppressed Zuko's ability to bend. When they _did_ take him out of the room, they did so at night. Zuko had honestly forgotten what it was like to feel the Sun's energy on his skin. Of course, Zuko didn't dare firebend. He wasn't even sure he could. But he could feel the low burn of his inner fire being reignited inside of him, and he would do anything to make sure it never went out ever again.

Zenji had gone out for the day, saying she needed to train. She had told Zuko to help himself to some food if he wanted. She pointed out her books and said he could help himself to those as well. Of course, there was no way Zuko was going to just going to sit back and relax. Looking around, he noticed that while the house wasn't messy, it wasn't exactly clean either. He decided to try and clean the house while Zenji was gone. It wasn't much, but it would show that he wasn't _completely_ useless.

Of course, Zuko had no idea _how_ to clean. In the Fire Nation, he'd had servants. On Fong's ship, the only time Zuko was taken out of his cage was to either be used as target practice or to be dumped into the ocean waters for entertainment.

He supposed he was just going to have to figure it out as he went.

He found some rags in a cabinet in the kitchen. The first thing he did was get them wet, hoping Zenji wouldn't be mad at him for using her things without permission. After wringing out the excess water, he turned around and stared blankly at the room. _I guess I can just start wiping things…_

It went better than Zuko had anticipated. He just wiped down most of the surfaces he could find until they were less sticky and dirty than before. If anything, he was taking care of the surprisingly thick layer of dust that was everywhere.

He slowly worked his way around the house. One room was particularly dusty. It looked as though it hadn't been used in months. There were only a few chairs, some Air Nomad relics that he didn't recognize, and a shelf of paintings. Before getting started on the room, Zuko looked at the paintings. They were of individual people. One of them had the signature airbending tattoos while the rest of them did not. If Zuko had to guess, he would say these were paintings of Zenji's family.

Looking closer at the pictures, Zuko frowned at one of them. All of the paintings were depicted in great detail and care. Except this one. It looked to have been shakily drawn by someone who was not trained. It was a painting of a man with dark hair, his clothing more defined and darker than the typical Air Nomad garb. Even in through the unsteady hand, Zuko could see the anger in the man's expression.

Zuko picked up the framed painting to look at it closer. There was something familiar about the style of clothes the man was wearing.

"What are you doing in here?"

Zuko jumped in surprise, the painting in his hand slipping from his fingers and landing with a loud crack. He whirled around to find Zenji standing at the entrance of the room. Looking back down, he saw that the frame had split open, the fabric of the painting torn down one side.

Realizing how thoroughly he had just screwed up, he quickly knelt down and tried to pick up the pieces.

Seeing Zuko panic, Zenji knelt down beside him and grabbed his wrists. "It's okay, you don't need to - "

Zuko flinched with small gasp, screwing his eyes shut as though bracing for a blow. Zenji immediately let go, but then Zuko just scrambled back, arms over his head defensively. Tears started to fall down his face when his back hit the wall. "I-I was just t-trying to clean up…" he whimpered. "I'm s-sorry…"

"It's okay, Zuko. Really." Zenji decided against approaching Zuko, not wanting to startle him further. "Of all the things you could have broken, this is by far the least important."

Not hearing the anger he was expecting, Zuko slowly lowered his arms, tentatively making eye contact with Zenji. "Y-you're… not mad?"

"Of course not." Zenji picked up the painting, looking at it dully. "It was an accident. I'm not going to hurt you for such a trivial thing."

His heart still pounding frantically, Zuko wrapped his arms around his chest and remained pressed firmly against the wall. Even if she said she wasn't mad, he didn't to risk setting her off by doing something as impudent as moving without her permission.

Seeing that Zuko was still scared, Zenji sat down fully and indicated the painting. "You know who this is?" She hoped that talking about something else might get the boy to calm down.

Zuko shook his head at first but then looked up at the other paintings. "F-family?"

Zenji shrugged. "Well, you're not _wrong_. Those other people are my family. This, however…" She paused, thinking about how she wanted to phrase her next statement. "This is my grandmother's rapist."

Zuko's eyes widened and then he looked at Zenji, _really_ looked at her. He had noticed before that her hair was much darker than the other airbenders, but didn't think anything of it. Now, he even noticed that her eyes were a pale amber color.

That's why he had recognized the man's clothes; they were Fire Nation.

"See the resemblance?" Zenji asked. "My grandmother painted this after my father had been born. I have no idea why or why she kept it." She shook her head. "Why would she want to remember something so horrible…?"

Zuko shivered, feeling a deep set guilt for the actions of his kinsman. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. You have absolutely nothing to do with this." She took one last look at the painting before tossing it aside. "The Air Nomads in this enclave have always treated me differently because my blood is tainted. It's the unspoken secret that everyone knows. They never hurt me, at least, not physically. But I _do_ know what it's like to be hated for something you have no control over."

Zuko frowned. "They _hate_ you…? Why?"

Zenji gave him a bitter smile. "For the same reasons Fong and his goons hate you."

Zuko quickly shook his head. "No… you're not worthless," he insisted. "You're not a m-monster."

"And neither are you," Zenji said, an edge of anger in her voice. "You're just a boy. A child prosecuted for crimes you didn't even committed." She wanted to continue to rant about the injustices Zuko had had to suffer through, but as Zuko continued to shake his head, she knew that her comments were falling on deaf ears. _I swear, if I ever get my hands on Fong…_

Wanting to talk about something less depressing, she looked over at the damp towel sitting on the floor. "Why were you cleaning?"

Zuko looked at the towel and hung his head. "I was trying to be useful…" he said quietly.

Zenji smiled. "Yeah right. You just got tired of living in the squalor I call home." She looked back and saw the uncertainty in Zuko's eyes. "I'm joking, Zuko." She stood up, picked up the towel, and then offered him a hand. "If you really want to help out, I might as well show you how to do it right."

Grateful to be given something productive to do, Zuko gave a small smile before tentatively taking Zenji's hand.

* * *

Aang was getting frustrated with his peers. They had always shunned him out of jealousy for getting his tattoo so young, but Aang had gotten used to it after a while. But now their harsh words were renewed as they accused Aang for being a Fire Nation sympathizer.

His father had explained to Aang everything that he knew about Zuko, including that he had been the crowned prince of the Fire Nation. Aang had been skeptical at first, but when he thought about, he supposed that would explain why the Earth Kingdom would have wanted to hurt Zuko so bad.

Of course, by the second day, word of Zuko's true identity had spread like wildfire throughout the settlement. The people tended to ostracize Zenji anyway, but now they were treating Anil like an outsider as well. When Aang and his father walked down the street, they could both hear the whispers and accusations. Anil had told Aang to just ignore it, but it was hard. Aang wanted to march up to all those people and yell at them that they were being stupid. He was _nine_, and he realized how stupid everyone else was being.

Even Tara was being openly loathsome to Zuko. She was Aang's caretaker when Zenil and Zenji were gone, and Aang had previously thought she was one of the kindest people he knew. But when Zuko came over to their place one night, she sneered at him in disgust. Aang saw her mutter something into Zuko's ear which made him turn pale, before she left indignantly. Aang had asked Zuko what she had said, but he just shrugged and changed the subject. It actually pained Aang to see that Tara was being just as mean as the rest of them.

At first, Aang's defense of Zuko came from an understanding that Zuko didn't deserve to be treated badly. But as the weeks wore on, Aang came to really _like_ Zuko. He didn't say much, but he didn't seem to mind hanging out with Aang either. He would listen to the young airbender chatter on about various topics and listen to him rant about the all the mean things people would say to him (leaving out the stuff about Zuko). Aang had actually developed a habit of hanging on Zuko's arm while they hung out. Zuko used to tense up when Aang grabbed him, but he got used to it after a while.

They never talked about Zuko's past. Aang was too scared of pushing Zuko away to ask any more questions. Zuko was the first real friend he's ever had, and he didn't want to lose that.

It had been nearly a month after Zuko had arrived at the enclave, and besides the occasional hostile word, not much had happened. However, even Aang could feel the tension hanging thickly in the air.

Aang had invited Zuko to stay at his place for the night and he had agreed. They waited until the Sun had set. Anil warned them that it might be more dangerous to move Zuko around in broad daylight, especially since Anil and Zenji didn't live close together. So whenever Zuko left either Zenji's or Anil's home, they did so at night.

Aang was rapidly talking about his day, as usual. Zuko had learned not the focus too hard on what Aang was actually saying, otherwise he'd gain a massive headache from the continuous onslaught. While he hated the darkness, he _did_ enjoy the veil and the cool breeze that night seemed to bring. Of course, he'd rather be in the Sun, but he was also content to stay hidden from possible prying eyes.

"I wish there were still sky bison around," Aang said. "All Air Nomads used to be paired with one when they turned ten. They would fly around on their backs to travel the world." He looked at Zuko expectantly. "Did the Fire Nation do the same thing with dragons?"

Zuko shook his head. "Sometimes... but most people weren't lucky enough to even touch a dragon, let alone fly on one."

"Well… I guess the dragons might be a bit scarier than - "

Aang suddenly stopped talking. When Zuko turned around, he saw that Aang had stopped in his tracks. "Aang?"

The young airbender was staring down one of the side roads. "I thought I heard something…"

Zuko followed Aang's gaze but didn't see anything. He tried to listen carefully, but his hearing wasn't nearly as good as it had been when he had been a child. "It's probably an animal…"

Aang nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right…"

They began walking again when Aang heard Zuko cry out. He spun around to find Zuko on the ground, clutching the left side of his face. "Zuko!" Aang knelt down in front of him. "Are you hurt?!"

"Go back to the Fire Nation, you Ash Maker!"

Aang turned toward the voice, trying to identify its source, but was unable to see anything in the dark. When he turned back, Zuko had lowered his hands and was staring at the blood on them. Starting to panic, Aang grabbed Zuko's upper arm and pulled him up. "C-c'mon, we need to get to my house!"

Thankfully, they weren't far from Aang's home. When they got into the house and Anil saw the blood, his expression immediately turned serious. "What happened?"

Aang helped Zuko into one of their chairs. "Someone threw a rock at him… I think they used airbending because Zuko's bleeding a lot!"

Anil grabbed a towel and got it wet as he told Aang to get some bandages. When he sat down in front of Zuko, he noticed that his eyes were unfocused and he seemed unusually pale. "Zuko…?"

Zuko's eyes turned towards Anil, but Anil didn't think he was actually seeing him. Gently placing the towel on the gash above Zuko's eye. "You're alright… it's not that bad. It's just bleeding a lot because it's a head wound."

The young firebender looked up at Anil. His eyes cleared and he suddenly looked… annoyed? He raised a hand and took the towel from Anil. "I can do it…"

Surprised by Zuko's sudden demeanor, Anil was about to ask what was wrong when Aang came back with gauze and wrap. Aang seemed to be shaken, his hands trembling as he handed the supplies to his father. Anil placed a reassuring hand on Aang's shoulder before grabbing a piece of gauze from him.

Zuko suddenly stood and stepped away. "I don't need a bandage," he said.

Anil frowned. "Zuko, it may not be serious, but we should still wrap it. We don't want you to get an infection."

"I spent five years living in my own shit and piss with gaping wounds," Zuko spat. "This is nothing."

At first, Anil was speechless. He had never seen Zuko react with anything other than fear or submission. On one hand, it made Anil happy that Zuko was finally starting to stand up for himself. On the other hand, Anil had no idea how to react to it.

Aang also seemed shocked at Zuko's outburst. "B-but if we don't treat it, i-it'll leave a bad scar, and…!"

"_A bad scar?_" Zuko echoed. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous that is? Have you _seen_ my face?!"

Anil noticed that Zuko was breathing heavily and his hands were trembling. "Zuko, calm down," he said. "We're just trying to help because we care."

Zuko let out a bitter laugh, taking the towel off his face and looking at the blood before tossing it aside. "You have no idea what you're getting yourselves into…"

Anil stepped towards Zuko slowly. "I know things are still a bit confusing for you. You know you can always talk to us if you need - "

He heard his son's cry of surprise before feeling the pain in his jaw. Anil held his jaw, more in surprise than pain, staring at Zuko incredulously. The _last_ thing he had expected was for Zuko to strike him. "Zuko! What was that for!?"

Zuko was shaking, his fists held tightly at his sides. "Hit me," he said, his eyes starting to fill with tears.

Anil's eyes widened. Zuko had appeared to be getting better, albeit slowly. He was still timid, but he wasn't flinching or apologizing as much as when he first arrived. He even started trying to participate in some conversations with Anil, though they tended to be short and awkward. However, it would seem that Zuko wasn't as stable as Anil and Zenji had hoped.

When Anil didn't respond, Zuko tried to hit him again, but Anil easily blocked it this time. "Hit me!" Zuko demanded.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

With an animalistic growl, Zuko launched himself at Anil, hitting and kicking every inch of the airbender he could. "I said hit me!"

Anil grabbed Zuko's wrists and tried to get him to stop struggling, but Zuko just bit his hand. Anil cringed at the pain, but held on. "I am not going to hit you!"

"I'm a _firebender_!" Zuko screeched. "I'm a monster! All I do is cause pain and suffering and _I deserve it_!"

Unable to take it anymore, Anil wrapped his arms around Zuko and held him as tight as possible, pinning his arms to his sides. "No, you don't… Anyone who's told you otherwise is just wrong."

Zuko shook his head, starting to sob into Anil's shoulder. "Y-you don't understand…"

"Yes, I do."

"No, you _don't_..." Zuko legs gave out and Anil fell to the floor with him, still holding him tightly. "Even my own f-father…" He took deep gulps of breath, trying to force out the words between sobs. "H-he always said I was… was a failure. He _th-thanked_ Fong for kidnapping me…"

"Shh…" Anil slowly stroked Zuko's hair, internally seething. "It's okay now. It's over."

Zuko just shook his head again, grasping at Anil's clothes. "Please hit me… _Please hit me_…"

Spoken words proving useless, Anil just held Zuko tightly, hoping his actions would penetrate the fog of the traumatized child's mind. He kept one of his hands on the back of Zuko's head, keeping him steady as he slowly dissolved into incoherent sobs.

Aang simply stood there, more scared now than when Zuko had been attacked. He had never seen anyone act the way Zuko was, practically screaming at his father. And then he just... broke down.

This was all so unfair. Why did his friend have to suffer so much? And why wasn't there anything Aang could do to help? He tried to hang out and talk to Zuko a lot, but that didn't seem to help him. Aang had never felt so lost and helpless in all of his nine years.

It seemed like an eternity, but Zuko eventually calmed down. His breathing was still uneven but he had ceased sobbing hysterically. Even so, Zuko stayed where he was, still trembling slightly. Anil rubbed his back slowly, relieved that he seemed to have come out of his fit. "You feel better?"

Instead of responding, Zuko slowly pulled out of Anil's embrace, avoiding eye contact. Scooting back a little, he leaned forward until his head touched the ground. "I'm s-sorry I hit you…" he said softly.

Anil grabbed Zuko's shoulders and pulled back up into a sitting position. When Zuko still avoided eye contact, Anil put a finger on his chin to tilt his head up. "Zuko, look at me."

It took a few moments, Zuko's trembling still prominent, but he eventually brought his eyes to meet Anil's.

"Your apology's accepted."

Zuko looked as though he was about to cry again, but he quickly looked away and wiped his eyes, taking a deep shaky breath.

Aang came up and sat down next to the firebender, holding the bandages. "C-can I bandage your wound now?"

Staring at the bandages for a moment, he closed his eyes before giving a small nod.

Aang smiled, happy that he was finally able to do something that would help Zuko. He picked up the wet towel and started to whip away the dried blood on his face. Zuko winced a little, but otherwise allowed Aang to continue patching him up. He knew that dealing with the physical wounds wouldn't really help Zuko with his other problems, but at least it was something.

Anil was relieved that everything had settled down, but now he had to address the actual attack. He would ask Aang and Zuko for details later, but Aang didn't seem to know who it had been. This was deeply disturbing for Anil. He had hoped that the Air Nomad sentiments of peace and avoidance would prevent the enclave from lashing out. Apparently, he had underestimated the bitterness and hatred that had formed among them over the last hundred years.

He was going to have to be more vigilant if he wanted to help Zuko get better.

* * *

It had been eight weeks since Zuko had arrived at the enclave. It was time once again for Anil and his crew to patrol the local waters.

While Zuko had been getting marginally better, Anil still didn't wish to leave him alone. However, one of the conditions Monk Pasang gave him was that Zuko's presence could not interfere with his duties. So Anil must go.

Of course, Zuko wouldn't be completely alone… Zenji had asked him whether he preferred to stay at Zenji's place alone or stay at Anil's place with Aang and Tara. Zuko had opted for Anil's home, which Anil was relieved about, though he was still a bit concerned about Tara's coldness towards him. However, she absolutely adored Aang, and so he hoped that that would be enough for her to hold her tongue around Zuko.

They would only be gone a week. Zuko and Aang both knew to stay out of trouble and to only leave the house if absolutely necessary.

It was only going to be a week. Everything was going to be fine.

It was only a week.

* * *

**So what do you think? Review and let me know! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, everyone!**

**I seem to be doing pretty well on getting chapters up. Hopefully I can keep up the pace. ****I might slow down a bit this week because I'm still FREAKING OUT over the episodes that just aired XP**

**Enjoy Chapter 5!**

* * *

Zuko was counting down the hours until Anil and Zenji returned. While he liked Aang and enjoyed being with him, Tara's constant presence was wearing him down.

Tara refused to leave Zuko alone in the same room as Aang. This seemed to annoy the young airbender, but Zuko could understand. She just wanted to make sure Zuko didn't hurt him. However, her constant glares and small hisses of contempt were starting to feel like a heavy weight on his mind. After two months of being treated more as an equal by Anil and Zenji, he wasn't used to being so openly hated.

Aang had tried to talk to Tara, but she refused to listen to him. The young airbender was clearly torn between defending Zuko and respecting the woman who had helped raised him, so Zuko told him that it was alright to try and ease his internal conflict.

"But she shouldn't treat you like that!" Aang said quietly. "It's wrong."

Tara was standing in the corner of the room, maintaining her ever-present glare. Wanting to appease both of them, Zuko said, "She's just trying to protect you. Don't worry about it. Your father's going to be back in a couple days."

Even though he said this, that still didn't take away the feeling of anxiety and unrest that was swirling inside of him. He just wanted a bit of peace and quiet away from her oppressive glare and sharp words. Was that really so much to ask for?

It was the evening before Anil and Zenji were expected to return. Zuko would be lying if he said he wasn't at his wit's end. It was incredibly clear at this point that he should have opted to stay in Zenji's house alone. However, it wasn't just Tara. It was also Aang.

Usually, they only hung out a few times a week. They would hang out for long periods of time to be sure, but it wasn't constantly for a solid week. Aang was overwhelming even in the smallest of time frames. _This_ was beyond overwhelming. Zuko was sure his head was going to burst from the multi-day headache he's been nursing. Of course, he hadn't said anything to Aang. He honestly felt horrible for being annoyed at the young airbender, even if only privately. Aang was one of the only people to actually treat him like he was just another person. Heck, he even treated him like a _friend_.

Zuko felt like such an ungrateful wretch.

Even so, with Anil and Zenji's return so close, Zuko was starting to get short with the airbender.

"I don't want to play Pai Sho again," Zuko said, rubbing his temples as hard as he could.

"But you only learned how to play a few days ago," Aang said. "You need practice so you can get better and we can play against each other for real!"

"I can practice later."

"But you're not doing anything else… so why not _now_?"

Zuko rolled his eyes as subtly as possible. He could feel something smoldering inside of him, getting more intense by the minute, but he chose to ignore it. "I just… want to do something else, okay? Something that requires less _thinking_."

Aang looked down at the Pai Sho pieces in his hands. "We could make up our own, simpler version."

Zuko groaned. "Less thinking, Aang. _Less_ thinking…"

"Well, I don't know… what do _you_ wanna do?"

_I just want to be alone and let my head have a break._ Zuko looked out the window and said, "I'm going for a walk…"

"What?" Aang said as Zuko stood. "You can't. Dad said we shouldn't leave the house unless we have to."

"I'm not going far. I'll be back soon."

He started to walk towards the door when he heard Aang get up behind him. "Well, then I'll come with you."

"No!" Zuko said. "I just... need a few minutes to myself, okay?"

Aang watched as Zuko kept walking. He wanted to stop him, but Zuko seemed unusually determined. Aang instinctively looked at Tara for help, but she obviously didn't care if Zuko put himself in danger. He couldn't let Zuko leave the house. What if he got attacked again? Aang was the only person here who actually cared about him, and if he got seriously hurt, Aang wouldn't know what to do.

"Zuko, _please_ stay inside!" Aang pleaded. "You can go walking tomorrow when Dad and Zenji get back!"

"Aang, enough…" Zuko said, his skin starting to burn. "I'm just asking for _five minutes_."

"No!" Aang ran up and grabbed Zuko's arm. "I don't want you to get hurt again…!"

"I said _enough_!" He spun around and tried to throw Aang off of him, but a stream of fire unwillingly sprung from his fingertips, the fiery arc flying outward and hitting the side of Aang's face.

Aang let out a shrill cry as he fell the ground with a loud thud. He heard Tara scream his name, but he could only focus on the burning pain that was ravaging the side of his face. He instinctively covered it with his hands only to scream out again, the contact only making it worse. His face was on fire… and he couldn't get it to _stop_.

For a brief moment of time, Zuko was frozen, his mind rendered incapable of processing what had just happened. It wasn't until Aang let out another cry of pain that he realized precisely what he had done.

He had just firebent at Aang. He had just burned his _only friend_.

"Aang…" Zuko said, barely above a whimper. "Oh _spirits_, Aang!"

Zuko tried to step forward when a large gust of air hit him in the chest, sending him flying out the door he had just been trying to leave out of. When he hit the ground, it felt as though all air had just been ripped from his lungs.

"Don't you come near him, you _savage_!"

When Zuko regained his breath and slowly sat up, he saw Tara in an offensive position, standing protectively in front of Aang. Aang… who was writhing on the floor behind her.

"I'm sorry…" Zuko managed to say, unable to tear his eyes from Aang's form. "It's was an a-accident…"

"What's going on?!"

When he looked around, Zuko noticed that crowd was starting to form around the firebender, their undisguised looks of revulsion making him shrink into himself. "It was an accident…" he barely breathed.

"He burned Aang!" Tara screeched. "He tried to kill Anil's son!"

Zuko shook his head in denial. He hadn't tried to kill Aang. It was an accident. It was an accident…!

_All you Fire Nation bastards do is bring about pain and destruction. You're all **monsters** that set fire to everything you touch._

He needed to run. He needed to get as far away from this enclave, from these people, _from Aang_ as fast as possible.

Zuko scrambled to get to his feet, trying to propel himself forward. Just as he got purchase on the ground, another gale came from his side and knocked him back onto the ground. He looked back up just in time to see the airbenders descend upon him. They all tried to grab onto him, pulling him in several directions at once. Several punched him in the face in their attempt to restrain him. Zuko tried to pull himself from their grasp, but when he found that he was unable to, panic started to settle in. "_NO!"_ Zuko screamed. "No, please! Please, I'm sorry! _I'M SORRY!_"

Someone punched him across the mouth. Zuko was momentarily dazed when someone shoved a piece of fabric in his mouth, securing it with a piece of rope tied around his head. Zuko tried to pull away as it was being tied, but then someone grabbed his hair and pulled it back to keep his head still.

In the end, two of the larger men were holding him. They each had a strong hold on his arms, so strong that Zuko felt his arms were about to break. They also each knelt on one of his legs, keeping him pinned to the ground. The remaining airbenders started to discuss his fate.

"Now what?"

"Now, he has to face justice."

"That much is clear, but the question is how and when?"

"We probably shouldn't pass judgement without the elders. But it's late."

"Then wake them up!"

"We don't have to do this now… It can wait until morning."

"Where's Aang?! Is he okay?"

"They've already fetched the healers."

"What do we do with _him_? "

"We have to secure him."

"Yeah, but _how_? He'll burn straight through any ropes or twine."

"We need something metal. It's too bad we don't have any chains…"

"Hanxing, don't you have wire?"

"Yes, but it won't restrain him; it'll just cut right through him."

"We can twist a bunch of wire together. It'll chaff him badly, but who cares?"

"Okay, but where are we going to put him?"

"We can lock him in the food store."

Zuko squeezed his eyes shut, unbidden tears falling down his face. He tried to block out the conversation going on around him, but his mind seemed determined to hang onto every torturous word.

_You deserve this._

_I don't care_, a part of him thought in response. He didn't care that he deserved this. He didn't care if he was a monster, and he didn't care that these people were completely justified in their actions. He wanted it to end. He didn't want to be beaten or tortured anymore. He didn't want to be their plaything.

_Please_… he silently begged. _Just let me go… Please, I'll do anything..._

Once they finished braiding together enough wire, the two men pulled Zuko's arms back and started to tie his wrists. When they tugged the bindings tight, Zuko let out an involuntary whimper which earned him a quick cuff on the back of the head. "Shut up, you animal."

"Is this… is this really necessary?"

The voice of uncertainty stood above all the other voices of malice. It was stark enough that Zuko slowly raised his head to see the source of the voice.

It was Lhamu, one of the healers from his first night on the ship.

"Did you see what this monster did to Aang?" One of them men yanked on Zuko's arms, eliciting a mewl of pain, his body shivering. "This what Anil gets for allowing this _thing_ to stay here."

Zuko stared up at Lhamu, bloody and bruised, with a small amount of dangerous hope. The cruel voice in his head was still taunting him, tell him he deserved this, that wishing for it all to end was selfish. But a small part of him was clinging to Lhamu's uncertainty. A small part of him couldn't help praying silently... _please help me_.

Lhamu looked up at the men before giving a small nod. "I'm going to go help with Aang."

As Zuko watched Lhamu walk away, he felt the last vestiges of that hope being carried away with her.

_You deserve this. Don't you ever forget it, you monster._

The men behind him laughed and yanked on his arms again in jest. There was a sickening pop, and Zuko screamed through his gag as pain exploded in his right shoulder. He was hyperventilating through his nose, trying to breath through the pain, but couldn't seem to gain enough oxygen.

"C'mon, let's take him to the store."

Finding it nearly impossible to move on his own, they practically dragged the firebender to the outskirts of the settlement. Zuko hardly noticed his surroundings, focusing instead on breathing through the pain as they jostled him without heed. He felt ready to pass out at any moment. It wasn't until the creak of rusted metal could be heard that Zuko looked up to see what was going on.

They were opening the hatch to some sort of underground room. Zuko didn't know what the room was for since nothing was visible in the darkness. It wasn't until they pushed him towards the opening that he realized: they were going to lock him down there. In that completely dark, black _hole_.

No longer caring about his injuries and his pain, Zuko violently pulled away from the store room, trying to plead to the airbenders through his gag, _'No, please! You can do anything you want to me! Just don't put me in there! Don't leave me in the dark! Please! PLEASE!'_

His desperate muffled cries went ignored as he was dragged to the edge and then shoved inside. He rolled unceremoniously down the stairs, and when he finally landed on the stone ground, nothing but white stars danced across his vision, his entire body aflame with pain.

By the time his vision cleared, they had closed the hatch, and the click of a lock could be heard. Zuko carefully rolled onto his left side, lying in the position that caused the least pain. He could feel the tears streaming off his face and onto the floor. He was trembling uncontrollably, exacerbating the already intense pain. He felt lightheaded and wanted to vomit, but with the gag in his mouth, that was impossible.

Zuko tried to look around, praying that his vision would eventually adjust, that there was still some sliver of light somewhere. However, even after several minutes, there was still nothing but black. He could already feel his inner flame dimming. By morning, it would once again be extinguished.

He hit head head against the floor, hating himself even more than he thought possible. He had been given a second chance and he _blew it_. For the first time since his mother's passing, there had been people who actually cared for him. Anil and Zenji had given him _everything_, and treated him more kindly than he deserved. And Aang… Aang didn't just treat him kindly. He had treated him like a peer. He didn't seem to see the scars or the indignities Zuko had been forced to endure. All he saw was Zuko. For the first time in his life, Zuko had been blessed with a friend.

And he had just set that friend's face on fire.

Zuko kicked his legs out with a growl, furious and ashamed of himself. His father had been right after all. He was just a good-for-nothing failure. He leaned his face into the cold ground and let out a dejected sob.

He really was worthless.

* * *

Once again, Anil found himself leaning over the bow of his ship, staring at the slowly approaching settlement in the distance. This patrol, like the majority of them, had been uneventful. He was already grateful to be able to return home without delay, but he wouldn't able to truly calm down until he saw that Aang and Zuko were both okay.

Anil felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned around to find Zenji giving him a look. "What?" he asked.

"I can take care of disembarkation again," she said. "You go straight home once we arrive."

Anil internally cringed. Watching the captain immediately leaving the ship after landing was not exactly good for morale. "Zenji…"

"I'm not going to take _no_ for an answer," she said. "You've been restless this entire week. I have been, too, but I can wait. Besides, as soon as you confirm that everything's fine, you can come back to the ship."

"But…"

"No buts."

Anil shook his head and sighed. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

"I wouldn't have gotten this far if I wasn't."

While this was true, Anil still found himself mildly annoyed with Zenji. But only mildly.

When they landed, Anil tried very hard to not go _running_ off the ship. The crew was already doubting him. If they saw him sprinting off to go check up on Zuko, it would only deepen their doubts. However, he did greatly quicken his pace once he was out of sight.

But as he ran through the settlement, he realized that there was virtually _no one_ in the streets. It was barely past noon. This was usually the most bustling time of day. However, the streets were eerily empty.

His previously paranoid anxiety became true panic as he sprinted the rest of the way home. When he saw that the front door had been knocked down, he knew his fears had been realized. "Aang!" he yelled as he ran inside. "Zuko!" The room was a mess. There was overturned furniture and broken plates. "AANG!" Anil screamed.

"We're up here!"

Recognizing Tara's voice, Anil jumped up the stairs with airbending speed and only stopped when he was at the door to Aang's room.

Aang was sitting up in his bed, his left cheek heavily bandaged. Tara was sitting on a chair next to the bed. They both turned toward the doorway, Tara with a smile, Aang with a look of absolute dread.

"Thank god you're back!" Tara said. "It was _awful_…"

Ignoring her, Anil immediately went to Aang, cradling his son's face in his hands. "Aang, what happened? Are you alright?"

Aang's eyes filled with tears as he slowly shook his head. "Zuko…" he whispered, his lips barely moving.

"That monster burned Aang!" Tara declared. "Aang has a _very_ serious burn stretching all the way across his cheek!"

Aang shook his head again and tried to speak. However, the burn also included the corner of his mouth, making it difficult to move his lips. "N… nnno' dat bad…" he muttered out.

"Aang, you're going to be scarred for life!" Tara pointed out angrily. "Stop trying to defend that beast!"

"Tara, with all due respect…" Anil said, "Shut up and leave so I can talk to my son."

Initially shocked by Anil's frankness, she quickly nodded and said, "Of course. I'll be right outside."

Once she was gone and the door closed, Anil returned his attention to Aang. An encouraging hand on his shoulder, Anil asked again, "What happened?"

All morning, Aang had tried to figure out where Zuko was. Everyone refused to tell him, but with their shared satisfied looks and their assurances that Zuko wouldn't bother him ever again, Aang could only assume the worse. And now his father was here, looking for answers, and he had none to give. All he could do is stare at his father in helplessness. "Zuko…"

Seeing his son so lost, Anil gently placed both hands on either side of his face, cautious of the bandage. "Listen to me, Aang… Everything is going to be fine. We are going to figure this out and make everything right again. But first you have to tell me _what happened_."

Aang reached up and touched his bandage, tracing the burn that was beneath it. "I' was an a'ciden'..."

"... Zuko burned you," Anil stated softly.

"I' was 'y faul'!" Aang insisted. "I-I ma'e him angwy… He 'i'n' 'ire'en' on 'ur'ose!"

"Aang, slow down. I can't understand you, and I don't want you to hurt yourself." Anil looked around for paper, brush, and ink. Finding them on a side table, Anil quickly grabbed them and handed them to his son. "Just write it out."

Aang was shivering, but he managed to quickly write down what he wanted to say. His handwriting was shaky and rushed, and he realized halfway through that he had no idea what characters to write Zuko's name in. But as long as it was understandable, that's all that mattered.

_My fault. Made him angry. Sucho didn't firebend on purpose. Accident. Don't remember. Don't know where he is._

Anil nodded. "Okay. Don't worry, Aang. I going to find him and I'm going to bring him home.

Aang shakily nodded, tears still in his eyes. Anil could tell that he was trying to be brave, but having difficulty maintaining the facade.

Anil leaned forward and placed a kiss on Aang's forehead. "Do you want me stay?" he asked quietly.

"No… 'ind Zuko," Aang said, his voice wavering.

Anil wrapped his arms around Aang. He hated to leave his son like this, but he knew that Aang wasn't in any danger. The same couldn't be said for Zuko. "I'll be back soon," he promised.

When he left Aang's room, Tara was standing right outside. "Look after him," Anil said.

"Of course," Tara responded.

She was about to reenter Aang's room when Anil stopped her with a hand to her chest. "But first… Where are they keeping Zuko?"

Tara raised an eyebrow. "Want to exercise your own bit of _justice_ before the elders make a decision? I mean, I don't blame you, but it's so unlike you..."

"Don't make any assumptions," Anil snapped. "Now, where is he?"

The older woman's eyes darkened. "You can't be telling me you're still going to defend him? After what he did to your son?!"

"Are you going to tell me where he is, or not?"

Tara shook her head. "You're going to have to confer to the elders. I can't in good conscious allow you to save that horrible monster. Not after what he did to Aang."

Anil did not consider himself a violent man, but he wanted nothing more than to slam Tara against the wall. Breathing deeply, Anil settled for a nasty glare before turning and heading out of the house.

He supposed he had no choice. He had to talk to the elders.

With no plan and very low expectations, Anil hoped he would be able to prevent Zuko from suffering any more anguish.

* * *

**So what do you think? Review and let me know! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello, everyone!**

**Okay so this chapter is REALLY LONG. Just not long enough to make into two chapters... Somehow, I don't think you guys will mind.**

**I just wanted to thank you guys for the wonderful reviews! I'm so glad you guys like Anil and Zenji. OCs are always a bit risky in the fanfiction world...**

**Enjoy Chapter 6!**

* * *

"Zenji! ZENJI!"

Zenji turned to see someone running towards the dock. As they got closer, she realized that it was one of the junior healers. Completely at a loss as to why she would want to talk to her so urgently, she quickly descended the ramp, meeting the young healer at the end. "Lhamu? What is it?"

Lhamu was breathless from the running, but immediately said, "I-I need... to talk... to you..."

Zenji's eyes narrowed, but Lhamu was refusing to meet her gaze. She kept looking back and forth between the sailors around them. She was clearly fearful about talking around the others.

"C-can you come with me…?" Lhamu asked.

Hoping this had nothing to do with Zuko or Aang, Zenji gave a quick nod. The disembarkment was almost finished anyway. The crew could manage the rest without her.

Zenji followed Lhamu away from the docks, but they didn't head back to the settlement directly. Instead, Lhamu was circumventing it entirely. Giving the healer's back a suspicious gaze, Zenji asked, "Where are you taking me?"

Lhamu stopped in her tracks. She stared at the ground in front of her before she turned around to face Zenji. That was when Zenji saw that she was crying. "I d-didn't know what to do…"

Zenji grabbed Lhamu's shoulders, praying this wasn't what she feared it was. "Lhamu, what's wrong?"

"I… I-I think Z-Zuko lost control… It didn't seem like h-he did it out of m-malice…"

"Did _what_?" Zenji demanded. "What happened?!"

Lhamu hiccuped, but managed to keep talking. "Zuko burnt Aang… I-I'm pretty sure it was an accident, but the others… they didn't care…" She looked up at Zenji fully. "Y-you have to help him! They hurt him badly... Oh Spirits, he was _screaming_…"

"Lhamu! Concentrate!" Zenji shook the young healer, probably harder than was necessary. "Where is Zuko now?"

The young healer suddenly focused, broken out of her panicked daze. "Th-this way."

When Zenji figured out that they were heading toward the enclave's food storage, she quickened her pace. As the hatch came into view, she saw two airbenders standing guard. When they saw the women running towards them, they both smirked. "Hey there, Zenji," one of them said. "I don't suppose - "

Completely uninterested in _anything_ these men had to say, Zenji jumped forward onto one foot, pulling her other one back. She swung her arm over her head in an arc, and slammed her staff on the ground, the powerful gust of wind picking up dust and hitting the unexpecting men with uncanny force. By the time the dust cleared, both men were unconscious on either side of the storage hatch. Zenji scowled upon realizing that it was locked. She started searching one of the guard's body for the key while Lhamu did the same for the other.

A moment later, Lhamu exclaimed, "I got it!" She ran to the hatch with the key and started to try and unlock it. However she was having trouble because of her quivering hands.

Zenji saw this and silently took the key Lhamu. While Zenji was also a bit shaky, she was also much more acclimated to functioning under pressure. Making quick work of the lock, she opened the hatch.

Zuko was curled at the bottom on the floor, facing the stairs, arms tied behind his back. When the light hit his face, he looked up only to flinch away at the sudden exposure.

"Zuko!" Zenji jumped down and placed a hand on his shoulder, making the young man moan. Zuko had his eyes screwed shut, his face turned away from her. "You're okay. I'm going to get you out of here."

His body began to tremble as he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at the airbender. His face was horribly swollen and bruised, his left eye barely able to open. Zenji wanted to take another swing at the guards, but she concealed her anger and started to untie the gag that was wrapped around his head.

_We never should have left them alone… We should have known something like this would have happened._

When Zenji pulled the gag out of Zuko's mouth, he coughed dryly for a moment before pleading softly. "_Please_…"

"Don't worry," Zenji said firmly. "I'm not going to hurt you." She tried to roll over him over in order to free his wrists. However, when she did, he let out a sharp cry of pain. She quickly retracted her hands. "What's wrong?"

Before he could respond, Lhamu appeared beside Zenji, placing a gentle hand on Zuko's arm. He tensed, but she didn't pull away. Instead, she to gently probed his shoulder. "It's dislocated," she stated.

Internally cursing, Zenji said, "Well let me get him untied so we can deal with it properly."

Without a word, Lhamu handed Zenji a pair of wire clippers.

Zenji stared at them blankly before realization dawned on her. _No_… She got up to sit behind Zuko and saw that his wrists were bound with layers of twisted wire. "Those fucking savages!"

Zuko flinched and minutely curled into himself with a small whimper. "I… I'm s-s-sorry...!" he shakily rasped.

"Shh… I didn't mean you, Zuko." Zenji started to clip through his bindings, grateful for the opportunity to violently cut _something_. "I meant those _animals_ who thought it right to torture you for no good reason!"

"I-I burnt Aang!" Zuko blurted out, his voice cracking from the lack of water.

"I know. Lhamu told me."

Zuko started to sputter, his breathing quickening. "B-but th-then… Y-you should b-be... "

"I should be doing exactly what I'm doing now: freeing you." Zenji managed to cut the last of the wire, quickly unwrapping it from Zuko's wrists and tossing it aside. His wrists were badly cut and bruised, but as long as they were treated quickly, they wouldn't be life threatening. "Let's deal with your shoulder…" Zenji grabbed him from underneath his armpits and hauled him into a sitting position.

Zuko drew in a quick intake of air, his entire body stiff from being in the same position all night. It felt as though his entire body was throbbing in pain. His wrists were aching, his shoulder still felt like it was on fire, his head was pounding… And _none_ of it distracted him from the fact that Zenji (and Lhamu...?) seemed to be _helping_ him.

They both knew that he had burned Aang. They _knew_. So why were they doing this? Were they just trying to make him better in order to prepare his body for an even worse torture? He couldn't imagine what sort of torment that could be, but had learned over the years that he was not nearly as _creative_ as others seemed to be.

He hated to admit it, but it actually made his heart ache to imagine Zenji wanting to hurt him. After all, they were kinsman of a sort. Both of the Fire Nation…

Zuko shook himself of that thinking. Zenji was a warrior. The fiercest woman he had ever seen. She used everything in her power to protect those around her, in spite of the fact that they all seem to hate her.

He wasn't anything like that. They weren't anything alike. He doesn't protect anyone. He just burns little boys.

Zuko was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn't notice Zenji holding him firmly, or Lhamu holding onto his dislocated arm. "Ready?" Lhamu asked.

Zenji nodded. "Ready."

Lhamu gave Zuko's arm a strong yank, pulling his arm back into a place.

Pain radiated from his shoulder anew, and Zuko let out a scream, instinctively jerking away from Zenji's hold. _It's starting…! They're going to start beating me again…! Spirits, I just want this to stop…! Please let this stop!_

Zenji wrapped her arms around Zuko as he started to struggle. She felt her cold heart slowly tear with every soft mewl of '_please_' and '_I'm sorry_' that came out of the boy. Eyes burning and vision blurring, she held Zuko tightly and tried to calm him down. "I know you're in pain..." she said quietly, her mouth just inches from his ear, "But we're going to make it better. We're going to take care of you now… I promise you, I won't let anyone hurt you _ever again_."

Lhamu sat in front of them, watching as Zenji tried to comfort the young firebender who was pleading for mercy. She felt more and more horrid with every second that passed. It was her job to take care of other people, and what had she done last night? She willingly stood by and watched as her kin beat and terrorized a child. She had been too terrified of incurring the wrath of the enclave onto herself to even _try_ and help.

She was poor excuse for a healer.

Zuko eventually stopped struggling, his body going limp in Zenji's arms. He was silently crying, staring at the ground with an expression of dread. Zenji's eyes were bloodshot, but the tears had stopped. She wanted to stay there, to continue comforting him until he was absolutely convinced that he was safe. But she knew that wasn't reasonable. She needed to find Anil and make sure he knew the whole story. And if possible, give the people of her enclave a piece of her mind. And possibly her staff.

"Lhamu…" Zenji said. "Can you take Zuko back to my place and treat his injuries? It's not far from here, and you should be safe."

Lhamu looked shaken and uncertain. "What are you going to do?"

Zenji's expression darkened. "I'm going to make sure this never happens again."

The young healer still looked uncertain. Even fearful. However, she also looked determined, which Zenji both respected and appreciated. "I'll take care of him," Lhamu said.

Zenji looked down at Zuko, who was still trembling and staring at the ground. "I'll be back soon, Zuko. With Anil."

At the mention of the other man's name, Zuko momentarily broke out of his self-imposed state of catatonia. He shivered and wrapped his left arm around his middle. "_It was an accident_…" he breathed.

Uncharacteristic of her usual brash self, Zenji placed a gentle kiss on Zuko's head. "I know, young one… And I'm sure Anil knows too."

* * *

Anil didn't bother knocking or announcing his presence. He simple strode into the elders' chamber, knowing they were probably already discussing Zuko's fate.

The elders all turned to him with grim expressions, except for Monk Tashi, who had a smug look on his face. "I don't suppose you've realized just how mistaken you were to put your faith in the Ash Maker," he said.

"What are you planning on doing to Zuko?" Anil said, having no patience for Monk Tashi's little powerplay.

"He _should_ be burned at the stake," the monk responded. "He's already demonstrated that he's too dangerous to be kept in the enclave."

When the other monks murmured in agreement, Anil couldn't help but sneer at them. _You all are useless…_ "He's a child. A child that needs to be protected. Children hurt each other sometimes; it _happens_."

This time, Monk Pasang looked at Anil incredulously. "Anil… Have you _seen_ your son? Have you seen what that firebender did? It's clear that his forefathers' blood runs thick in his veins..."

"It was an _accident. _Aang told me himself, Zuko didn't mean to hurt him."

"Aang's a child," Monk Tashi said dismissively. "Of course he's not going to understand the gravity of the situation."

"Maybe he's a child and is able to see _past_ the prejudices that you are all drowning in!"

"Anil…" Monk Pasang said. "Your perception may be skewed by a misplaced sense of custody. You have taken a very active role in his care since you first brought him here. I fear this may have clouded your judgement."

Anil was honestly speechless. The sheer ignorance of these people was simply astounding. "Clouded _my_ judgement? Have any of you even _tried_ to listen to Zuko's side of the story?"

"We don't need to hear that _fiend's_ side of the story!" Monk Tashi exclaimed. "We have several eyewitnesses, including Tara! We have already properly controlled and immobilized the little brute. Now all that's left to do is to properly _deal_ with him."

Anil's stomach sank. "Where is he?" he asked dangerously low. "What have you done with him?"

"He's fine," Monk Pasang assured. "He's been properly secured and real no harm has been done to him."

"No real _physical_ harm," Anil spat. "Where is he? I want to see him _now_."

"That is of no consequence," Monk Tashi said. "While he _deserves_ much worse, we have already decided to cast him out of the enclave."

Anil gazed from elder to elder, pleading with them. "You can't... In his current state, he wouldn't survive a week on his own! If anyone finds out who he is…!"

"They'll likely kill him," Monk Pasang said. "Which is no longer our problem."

"No longer _your_ problem, you sadistic bastards!"

Zenji stalked into the chambers and stood next to Anil. Her face was red with rage, her staff trembling threateningly in her hands. "If there is one thing I know for certain, it's that Sozin succeeded in destroying the Air Nomads!"

"Zenji…" Monk Pasang warned.

"No!" She swung her staff forward, pointing the blade at the monks. "I'm not interested in hearing your excuses! I've spent my _entire life_ hearing how peaceful and nonviolent the Air Nomads are! That it's just so _clear_ I'm not a true Air Nomad because I have a violent streak!"

Even Anil was taken back by Zenji's vehement rant. However, he knew better than to interrupt or try and stop her.

"And what do I find today?" Zenji went on. "I find that while I was gone, while I was _protecting you people…_! You had beaten and gagged a 13-year-old boy, tied his arms back with wire so tightly that they fucking _cut_ into his wrists, then locked him up in the food store with no food or water! You didn't even have the decency to give him a fucking blanket."

Anil, desperately hoping that Zenji was exaggerating (and knowing that she wasn't), turned to the elders. "Is this true?" he asked incredulously.

None of them responded and none of them needed to. Anil could tell by their expressions that it was all completely true. What was even more disturbing is that none of them, not even Monk Pasang, showed any sign of remorse.

Anil turned to Zenji. "Where is he?" he asked.

"He's safe," she said, not wanting the elders to know anything. "I can take you to him now."

"Have both lost your minds!?" Monk Tashi practically shrieked. "That boy is a danger to this enclave! He burned your son, and you still want to protect that _monster_?!"

That was it.

It was in that moment that Anil's expression suddenly fell into a blank stare.

In that moment, the anxiety, hopelessness, and desperation in him sudden evaporated into nothingness.

In that moment, something fundamental shifted in his very core.

In that moment… everything changed.

"We're leaving," he said flatly.

He started to walk out when he heard Monk Pasang say, "I know this is difficult for you, Anil. But once the firebender is gone and Aang begins to heal, you'll see why this is better for everyone."

Anil stopped, but didn't turn back around. "You misunderstand me," he said, his voice even and toneless. "I said we're _leaving_. I didn't mean these chambers or this building. I meant this enclave." Now he did turn back, wanting to face the elders one last time. "If this is how my people chose to conduct themselves… then I chose to remove myself from this poisonous domain. I will be leaving with Zuko and Aang _tonight_."

The elders were all dumbstruck. "You really _have_ gone mad…" Monk Tashi muttered.

Quickly composing himself, Monk Pasang tried to reason with Anil. "You're being rash, Anil. Think of the enclave. Think of your life. Think of your son."

"I AM think of my son! I am thinking of what kind of man he might become surrounded by people who are incapable of showing even an _ounce_ of compassion! You've all become bitter and closed from the world. Of course, I already knew that. And you know what? Despite the fact that half the enclave has always treated my dearest friend like an outsider... _Despite_ the fact that every single child has ostracized my son... I held out hope that the enclave could stillbetter itself. But after I brought Zuko here, after everything he's been through these last couple of months... I know now that _nothing_ will change you people. So for the safety and well-being of my son and his only friend… I will leave."

He turned and left the chambers, ignoring the calamity that ensued behind him. He didn't care if it was irrational or foolhardy. He didn't care what the elders or anyone one else in this enclave thought.

He was leaving. And for the first time in years, Anil felt _free_.

* * *

Lhamu paced the living room, praying that Zenji would be back soon. If for no other reason than she had no idea how to address Zuko.

He was sitting passively on the couch, holding a pack of ice to his shoulder as per Lhamu's instructions. She had treated and wrapped the cuts on his wrists and looked over the rest of his body to make sure there were no other injuries. He had a myriad of superficial bruises, but nothing serious or life threatening. She made him drink some water, which he did without complaint. In fact, Zuko spent the entire time staring blankly into the distance. Occasionally, he would tremble or have a stuttered breath, but otherwise remained absent from the world.

In a way, Lhamu was grateful. She had no idea how she would have handled him if had been panicking or fearful. The first night he spent on the ship, Lhamu hadn't been able to treat him at all, even _with_ Kohn-Ma's help. With Zuko the way he was now, it was like treating the most well-behaved patient you could hope for. However, it was also extremely unnerving to be in the same room with him like this. His scars and other physical maladies aside, it was distressing to see a young teenager so lost. It was natural for kids his age to be overactive or brooding. To see nothingness in one so young was honestly the most heartbreaking thing she had ever seen.

The front door opened and Zenji's voice could be heard. "Lhamu!"

Relieved, Lhamu quickly ran to the door. When she saw Zenji standing there with Anil, she instantly knew something was wrong. Their expressions and their body language was just... off. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine," Zenji said.

"Where's Zuko?" Anil asked impatiently.

"H-he's in the living room…"

Anil immediately walked past her and disappeared around the corner.

"Lhamu, you need to leave now," Zenji said.

Lhamu frowned. "Why? What happened?"

Zenji placed a hand on her shoulder. "Listen to me. So far, no one knows about your involvement, which is for the best. The enclave is about ready to jump on me and Anil; there's no reason to get you involved. If we want to keep you out of danger, you need to leave _immediately_."

Lhamu looked back into the house where her current charge was currently sitting, probably still catatonic. With only a tiny bit of regret, Lhamu nodded and slowly walked out of the door.

"Lhamu."

She turned around to see Zenji smiling. Not that half-cocked, smug smile she usually wore. It was a real smile: a smile of gratitude. "Thank you."

Lhamu smiled back sadly. "I wish you guys the best of luck. Really. I do."

"I know. Now get out of here before someone sees you."

With a quick nod, the young healer sprinted out of sight. Since Zenji's house was off the beaten path, it wasn't difficult for her to return to the main area of the settlement without being noticed.

When Anil entered the living room, he paused and took a mental catalog of all the injuries Zuko had appeared to suffer. Zenji had assured Anil on the way over that while Zuko was hurt, there was nothing life threatening. Even so, the sight of the deep bruises and the ice pack on his shoulder made Anil feel ill. "Zuko…"

Zuko's head snapped up at Anil's voice, his eyes widening. He dropped the ice pack and slid off the couch, falling to the floor and pressing his head to the ground in a deep bow. I-I'm sorry…" he stammered out, his breathing halting as he began to shake. "P-please… please don't h-hurt me…"

A small part of him knew he should be approaching this situation with an increased amount of tact. However, watching Zuko bow before him and _begging_ not be put through more pain, destroyed whatever bit of rationality might be left in Anil. He fell to his knees and pulled Zuko into a fierce embrace, ignore the yelp of surprise. "I could never hurt you."

Zuko trembled, finding it nearly impossible to even breathe. While Anil's embrace was painful, it wasn't the kind of pain he had been expecting. Anil wasn't hitting or kicking him, wasn't stripping him in order to humiliate and make his blows more painful… he wasn't doing anything. _He must not know..._ Zuko swallowed down the lump in his throat and forced himself to say breathlessly, "I-I... I burnt Aang…"

"I know. I saw. Aang told me what happened."

Zuko's began to cry in confusion, his entire understanding of people being challenged. "I… I… I'm a f-firebender…!"

Anil actually chuckled, disregarding the tears that started to run down his own face. "I know. You made a mistake, Zuko. It happens. You didn't _mean_ to burn Aang, did you?" Zuko fervently shook his head. "Then I'm not mad at you. And you know what? Neither is Aang."

Completely at a loss, Zuko just buried his face into Anil's shoulder, taking what comfort he could out of the embrace. One thing he knew for sure is that it wasn't going to last for long.

Zenji came into the living room and said, "Anil... People are starting to gather."

The older airbender sighed. He just wanted to stay here and hold Zuko, but with his rather dramatic declaration, he knew that they needed to act fast. Slowly pulling away, he held Zuko out at arms length. The firebender was still listless, his breathing halted and uneven. "Okay Zuko…" Anil said as he stood. "We need to get moving. We're leaving the enclave."

Zuko frowned before his eyes widened again in panic. "Y-you're leaving again!?" He grabbed Anil's arm in panic. "You can't leave! Th-the others will… will…!"

Anil placed a hand on the side of Zuko's neck. "I'm not leave you. _We're_ leaving. Together."

Zuko frowned slightly and shook his head. "I d-don't understand…"

"I know you don't, and we need to get moving. But I promise… everything is going to be okay."

* * *

Aang sat in his bed, his legs pulled up to his chest. Tara had tried to get him to eat lunch, but the very last thing he wanted to be doing right now was eating.

"Do you wanna play some Pai Sho?" Tara asked. "That always seems to make you feel better."

"No," Aang said tersely.

Tara sighed, placing a hand on Aang's arm. "Aang… what do I have to do to convince you that you're safe now?"

"I already know dat," he mumbled.

"That firebender…"

"His name is Zuko!" Aang bit back.

Tara was a little taken back, but didn't yield. "Well_ Zuko_ won't be able to hurt you any more."

The young airbender closed his eyes, breathing through his frustration. Tara was starting to sound like a broken record at this point, and nothing he's said has convinced her to change her mind.

He just wanted to see Zuko and make sure that he was okay.

And then, as though on cue, he could hear people moving in the lower floor of his house. Aang immediately piqued up, silently hoping it was his father and that he had found Zuko.

Tara stood and said, "Stay here, I'll go see who it is."

She left without waiting for a response from Aang, much to his annoyance. He sat in his bed, gripping his blanket and shaking with impatience. It was only a few moments later that he could hear Tara's voice. It wasn't loud enough to make out the words, but it was enough to see that she was distressed. She sounded… angry and distraught at the same time.

_What am I doing?_ Aang thought disparagingly. _Your face is burned, not your legs!_ He swung his legs over the side of his bed and attempted to stand when his vision started to spin. He shook his head, but it only made it worse. Whatever herbs the healers gave him for the pain seemed to be affecting his balance. _But can you still walk?_

The answer was _yes_.

When Tara came down the stairs and saw Anil, she initially looked relieved, but then her eyes fell on Zuko, who was standing close to Anil's side. Her expression immediately went sour. "Don't tell me you actually _rescued_ that creature?"

"Tara…" Anil said, his dour tone leaving no room for misinterpretation. "I am leaving the enclave with Zuko and Aang. Permanently. Your services are no longer needed."

Her jaw immediately dropped, her eyes filling with tears. "You can't be serious. You… You're going to forsake us, take Aang away... for _that_?!"

"Leave Tara," Anil stated. "Now."

Instead of acquiescing, Tara turned to Zuko and leveled a glare of absolute loathing. "This is all _your_ doing! You've brought down nothing but ruin and misery to this family!"

Zuko flinched and looked down at the ground. After Anil's explanation of what had happened and what was about to occur, he couldn't help but hear the truth in her words. Anil was tearing himself and his son away from the only home they've ever known… for _him_.

Anil stepped forward and in front of Zuko. "Tara, don't," he growled in warning.

"You're mad!" Tara screamed. "Are you completely blind!? You're putting your own _son_ in danger!"

"Zuko!"

Aang came running down the stairs and towards Zuko. Upon seeing his injuries, Aang's eyes widened, and before anyone could react, he launched himself at Zuko, wrapping his arms tightly around his middle. "I'm so sorry…!" he said, his voice thick with tears.

Zuko stiffened, staring down at Aang with utter confusion. He wanted to vomit at the sight of the thick white bandage that encompassed half of Aang's face, but then his mind cycled back around to the confusion. He had burned his friend's face. And here he was. Hugging him. And… apologizing?

If anything, _Zuko_ should be the one apologizing. He should be on hand and knee, begging the little airbender for forgiveness. However, he found that he was unable to even move, Aang's embrace effectively immobilizing him.

"_You_…!"

Zuko looked up and flinched back when he saw that Tara's face was dark red, looking as though she was about to go berserk.

"Aang," Anil said, refusing to look away from Tara. "I need you to pack anything you can't bare to part with. We're leaving the enclave."

Aang minutely pulled away from Zuko's chest, just enough to look at his father. "Leaving 'or good?" he asked, surprisingly calm.

"Aang...!" Tara implored. "You can't possibly be okay with this? Your father is about to rip you from your home! You should stay here! Stay with me!"

Slowly and with reluctance, Aang released Zuko from his grasp and turned to face the woman who had taken care of him for so many years. A few months ago, he would have considered Tara to be a surrogate mother. The closest he had ever had to a mother, anyway. A few months ago, he would have said Tara was one of the kindest people he had ever known.

Aang looked Tara in the eye and shook his head. "I don' know you."

Tara's mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for water. It wasn't until Zenji walked into the house that she found her voice again. "You are all mad… The enclave will only _benefit_ from your departure!" Then she ran out of the house, trying to hide her sobs.

"Good riddance," Zenji muttered.

Aang turned back to Zuko and wrapped his arms around him again, pressing his head to the firebender's chest and listening to the too-fast heartbeat.

Zuko, shell-shocked by everything was happening and his arms still hanging uselessly at his sides, was only able to mutter, "I'm sorry I burned you…" He hated how pathetic he sounded, but had no idea how else to say what needed to be said.

Aang squeezed Zuko tighter. "I 'orgive you. 'Sides, I m-made you angry."

Zuko's voice got caught in his throat, his response diminished to a small keen.

_I forgive you._

With trembling arms, Zuko finally returned the embrace, one hand on Aang's head with the other across his back. He held the airbender tightly with silent tears of pure relief.

While Anil wanted to leave as soon as possible, he couldn't bring himself to interrupt the boys' solace. Turning to Zenji, he said quietly, "Will you help me figure out what we need?"

"Sure," Zenji said. "And of course, by _we_, you mean all of us. Including me."

Anil looked at Zenji, dumbfounded. "What? You want to come with us?"

"What?!"

They both turned and saw Zuko looking at Zenji incredulously. "Y-you can't abandon your home too! Not for me…"

"Not for you," Zenji said. "For me. I hold no loyalty to these people. You think I'm just going to let my favorite people just leave me behind?" She turned to Anil. "_You_ should know better. I've always wanted a reasonable excuse to leave this settlement. You think I'm going to pass up a chance like this?"

"Zenji… this isn't going to be easy. We're going to be hiding constantly. It's much more dangerous out there than - "

"Which is why you need me. You may be a better leader, but I'm a better survivor. Don't bother arguing with me, you know I'm right." Zenji smiled, leaning casually against her staff. "Besides, we're airbenders. Being on the run is in our blood."

"Living _nomadically_ is in our blood, not living on the run."

Zenji shrugged. "What's the difference, really?"

They stared at each other for a moment, communicating silently. Anil silently asked if she really wanted to do this, and Zenji silently told him that he was an idiot. Finally, Anil smiled and nodded. "Okay, then."

Zuko shook his head again, unwilling to accept this. "This is all my fault… You wouldn't need to do this if I hadn't - "

"No, we don't need to do this," Anil said. "We're _choosing_ to do this." He walked up and placed a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "You, me, Aang, and Zenji… we're a family now. And from here on out, we're all going to take care of each other. All of us."

Then Aang looked up and said, "I don' like any'ody here, anyway. Really, you're doing us a 'avor."

Zuko stared at the little airbender, not knowing what to say. Then he burst into laughter.

Anil nearly dropped to the floor in shock. Zuko was... _laughing_. It wasn't the bitter, self-loathing laugh that he had heard so many times before. This was real.

The older airbender smiled. Somehow, he knew that things were going to be okay.

* * *

**Okay, so not my best work, but hey, at least I didn't end this chapter on a cliffhanger :P **

**So what do you think? Review and let me know! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello, everyone!**

**This chapter is a bit more depressing than I originally planned... whoops. Oh well. **

**Enjoy Chapter 7!**

* * *

**Five Years Later**

The war has been over for nearly a year, but you wouldn't know that from the ground.

The Earth Kingdom Navy had cut a swath through the Fire Nation after years of planning and subterfuge. Firelord Ozai had been killed in battle. His daughter and heir, Princess Azula, had been tried for crimes against humanity. This ended in her eventual conviction and execution. The Earth Kingdom had placed a puppet ruler in the Fire Nation to rule in place of the Earth Kingdom government. From all accounts, the Fire Nation was a disaster zone. Rebellions and civil unrest plagued the archipelago, the Earth Kingdom doing little to nothing to try and bring it back to stability. The Earth Kingdom army simply occupied the islands, claiming them as new Earth Kingdom territories.

They didn't seem to realize that they had replaced the Fire Nation as the world's new conquerors.

Within the Earth Kingdom itself, Fire Nation citizens were subject to terror and prosecution. The fact that they had lived amongst Earth Kingdom citizens for years, if not decades, meant nothing. The fact that many of them were integrated within Earth Kingdom families meant nothing.

It was the new world order.

Chizu lived in a small village of integrated families. While she was a non-bender, her mother had been a firebender and her father an earthbender. Her husband, Chen, was a firebender. Their village had avoided the prosecution of Earth Kingdom soldiers that were sweeping through the former colonies.

Until now.

It was the early morning. The soldiers came without warning and had ripped everyone from their beds. Now they all stood in a long line, shivering and undressed, as the soldiers examined each of them carefully. Chizu had heard about this, but had hoped they were just rumors.

"You!" One of the soldiers pulled her neighbor out of the line. The soldier earthbent a boulder out of the ground and held it over the poor man's head. "Those are some pretty little eyes you've got there… Tell me: any Fire Nation blood in your history?"

"M-my grandfather… b-b-but I'm an earthbender! See?" The man picked up a stone and made it float in his palm.

The soldier smirked. "Well… I suppose that's alright then. After all, you can't help who your parents are…" He placed the bounder back into the earth. The man smiled nervously in relief.

Chizu tightened her grip on her husband's arm. The rumors were true. And if they found out that her husband was a firebender…

The soldiers worked their way down the line. Chizu's grip became tighter and tighter as they got closer. Her husband tried to calm her down, but it wasn't working.

One of the villagers panicked and tried to firebend in defense. It didn't last long. His head was now splattered across the road.

_This can't be happening, this can't be happening…_

The soldier stopped in front of her, examining her carefully. She looked away from his piercing gaze, leaning into Chen's side.

The soldier looked from Chizu to Chen, his eyes narrowing. He stepped in front of her husband, gripping the man's chin. "Dark hair, pale skin, amber eyes… Is there even an ounce of Earth Kingdom in you?"

When Chen didn't respond, the soldier pulled him forward onto the ground, ripping him from Chizu's grasp. Without even a moment's pause, the soldier slammed his fist against Chen's face.

"No! Please!" Chizu begged as the soldier continued to pummel her husband's face. Another soldier grabbed her to keep her from running forward to his aid. "He's lived here his whole life! He's never hurt anybody! Please! PLEASE!"

A blast of air cut through between the soldier and her husband. The soldier turned in the direction the wind had come from only to be met with another slice of air that sent him flying backward. Chizu looked up and saw that the air was coming from a woman with dark hair.

_An airbender!_

One of the other soldiers stomped on the ground, a mound of earth erupting towards the ground towards the woman. She easily dodged it, jumping into the air. When she landed back down, she spun her staff and launched a cyclone back.

Another gust of air came from the opposite direction, knocking away the soldier that was holding Chizu. Unheeding of the fight that was breaking out around her, she ran to Chen's side. "Are you alright?"

Chen nodded shakily, his face a bloody mess. "I'll be fine…"

"Chizu! Chen!"

Chizu looked up just in time to see one of the soldiers launch a boulder at them. She wrapped her arms around her husband and screwed her eyes shut, bracing for impact.

There was the sound of shattering rock, and several seconds passed without anything hitting them. She cautiously opened her eyes to see a young man standing with his back to them, wielding a pair of dao blades.

The soldier tried to launch more stones at them, probably hoping he could just knock their defender down with sheer force. However, the swordsman swung at each of them, shattering them all midair.

Before the soldier had time to switch strategies, another younger airbender came swooping in from the top of one of the houses. He thrust the man back with his airbending and knocking him out cold.

The fighting didn't last long. The airbenders quickly overwhelmed the Earth Kingdom soldiers. After decades of fighting the Fire Nation, none of the soldiers were equipped to handle the completely disparate bending style. Once all the soldiers were either unconscious or gone, the swordsman turned to check on the couple. "Are you okay?"

Chizu looked up and was about to thank the stranger when her words got caught in her throat. The man's face was completely covered in scars. Several deep laceration scars stretched from his forehead to his chin on one side, his eye was set in a permanent glare from a massive burn scar on the other side. There were even numerous amounts of smaller scars decorating what skin was left.

Finally finding her voice, she nearly yelled, "W-what happened to your face?!"

The swordsman's eyes darkened in response, and Chizu cowered away in fear. This man was _terrifying_.

"Hey!"

The other airbenders... a man, a woman, and a teenager... were standing at the edge of their village. The young teen was beckoning for the swordsman to join them. "We need to get moving!" he said.

The swordsman gave one last look at Chizu and Chen before running to join with the other airbenders. He was fast, and a moment later, they had all disappeared into the forest.

It was only after they were gone that Chizu realized that she had forgotten to thank the swordsman.

* * *

Zenji sat on a thick tree branch, her back leaning against the trunk. A few feet away, in a neighboring tree, Zuko was sitting similarly. They were watching the entrance to the underground rabbaroo nest, hoping that they'd be able to snag one before the end of the day. A rabbaroo would be able the feed the four of them for the next few days if they supplemented it with whatever berries they could find.

Zenji watched Zuko as he kept his gaze on the hole. She was always impressed with his ability to focus on a task, even if the task was mind-numbingly boring. It was something she was never able to do, which is part of the reason she brought Zuko with her to hunt. He was able to notice even the smallest of details.

This meant that while he was keeping an eye on the nest, Zenji was able to fully observe Zuko without worrying about losing their mark. It wouldn't seem like there would be much to observe from an outsider's point of view, but what most people didn't know was that he could be read like an open book if you tried hard enough.

Today, she could tell that Zuko was upset, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Zenji had heard the woman from the village yell at Zuko in fear. It wasn't exactly her fault; her husband was obviously badly injured and she had already been terrified from the soldiers. Zuko's face could be a… shock to those who weren't expecting it.

However, that didn't make it less hurtful for Zuko.

"You shouldn't let it bother you," Zenji said.

Startled by the break in silence, Zuko looked at her with a small frown. "What?"

"What that woman said earlier… she was just scared, you know."

"Oh. That." He looked back down at the nest. "It doesn't bother me."

"Yes, it does. Don't lie."

He didn't say anything at first, his gaze unwavering. Then he let out a small sigh. "I should expect it," he said quietly. "To most people, I look like something from a horror story."

"No you don't."

Zuko gave her a look.

"Well… yes, I suppose you do. But who cares?"

The obvious answer was that _he_ cared, but of course he didn't say so. Instead, he replied, "Most people with a healthy sense of self-preservation."

Zenji rolled her eyes. "There are plenty of victims from the war who suffer from scars such as yours. If people automatically think these people must be dangerous, then they're idiots."

Zuko simply shrugged. She could already tell that he was starting to think down on himself and was determined to put a stop to it. "You know, Zuko, you're actually quite handsome."

Zuko's head snapped up, giving Zenji a look of incredulity. "What are you _talking_ about?"

"I'm not joking… You're an incredibly attractive man. I can tell that if you had never been kidnapped, girls would have been all over you. It's a shame most people can't see past the scars."

Zuko shook his head. "You're insane, Zenji."

"I'm serious, Zuko. I'm not just saying it to make you feel better. You know I don't do that."

He just shrugged. "Well, it doesn't matter, since they _can't_ see past the scars." His voice lowered. "I gave up on being desirable a long time ago."

Zenji sighed. She should know better. There was no reasoning with Zuko when he was in a self-deprecating mood. Which, unfortunately, was most of the time.

It's been five years since they left the enclave. Incidentally, that was also how long Zuko had spent imprisoned by Fong. He had come a long way from that terrified child who felt the need to apologize for every little thing. Now, if it ever came to it, Zuko was fully capable of surviving on his own. However, it was clear that five years wasn't enough to heal him of all the damage Fong had inflicted. Realistically, he would probably never be completely free of it.

But that wouldn't keep Zenji from trying everything in her power to make him as stable as possible.

Zuko gave a small chuckle, continuing off his previous thought. "Besides… You're a bit old for me."

Zenji chucked an acorn at him. "Smartass."

* * *

His clothes cleaned and drying on low hanging branches, Zuko started to scrub himself down in the nearby creek. It was a usually a fairly methodical process, requiring little to no thought. However, today he found himself hyper-aware of his body.

His fingers lingered longer than necessary over the unnaturally bumpy surface of his skin. His wrists and ankles were rough and misshapen from years of wearing manacles. His upper arms and entire back, from his ankles to his neck, were just a solid mass of uncountable, crisscrossing scars from the countless times he had been beaten with the cat-o-nines. His chest was similarly covered in brands and cuts. However, if one looked closely enough, you could see that they were characters, names of the soldiers who tormented him for years.

Zuko never looked closely enough. He had no memory of any of their names besides Fong, and he liked to keep it that way. Though he still remembered all their faces with disturbingly vivid detail.

He dunked his head in the water, scrubbing the soap out of his hair. He tried to let the frigid water clear his mind, but it didn't seem to be working.

Squeezing the excess water out, he looked down at his reflection in the water. In a way, he was hardly able to see the scars. The scars were just an integral part of his face. He didn't remember what he looked like before the scars. Sometimes he would try to, but all he would recall is emptiness. His life before Fong was like a faded dream. You know it happened, but you can't recall any of the images or details. All that's left was the knowledge of its existence.

He tried to focus harder on his face, tried to imagine what he would look like without the scars. However, with the majority of his face being nothing _but_ scars, there wasn't much to work from. He closed his eyes with a sigh and the shake of his head. He had no idea where Zenji was getting her ridiculous ideas. On the surface, he looked like a freak. Looked like a monster. But even if he didn't have all these scars, that wouldn't change the fact that he _was_ a monster.

Zenji, Anil… Aang. They all tried to tell him otherwise. Every time Zuko even hinted at the fact, they would all rush to refute him. He wished he could believe them. It would make life so much simpler. So much _better_. Instead, he had learned to just never say it aloud.

He knew what he was. He was the son of murderers. He was firebender. Though he hadn't firebent since the day he burnt Aang.

_Aang…_

Zuko saw desire in his reflection and quickly batted the image away, looking up at the sky. He wasn't just a monster. He was also a fucking pervert.

It started a few months ago. His eyes would linger as Aang got dressed or bathed, he would unconsciously stand a little closer to feel the heat radiating from the young airbender, and so on. He didn't fully realize what was going on until he started having dreams. Really _nice_ dreams, that filled him with dread and disgust upon regaining consciousness. Now he very deliberately averted his eyes and stood away from the young airbender. Not so much that it was noticeable. Just enough to help mitigate the desire he couldn't help but feel.

The desire stubbornly remained and the dreams didn't stop. However, now they were sprinkled with new nightmares. Images of his family glaring at him in revulsion, his ever present fear of abandonment playing out over and over in his head...

He wished he could just reach into his mind and pull out all parts responsible for these feelings. Or better yet, wished Aang could just cease being so damn perfect.

Aang wasn't a little kid anymore. In fact, Aang was nearly Zuko's height at this point. He was skinny, but slowly developing muscle and filling in. His boyish features were rapidly melting away, leaving behind a more well-defined face. While a bit grating at times, Aang's seemingly constant good mood tended to be infectious. He was incredibly intelligent, constantly reading and learning at an alarming rate. He was also a skilled bender, having completed all the forms long before even leaving the enclave. Always wanting to help other people, he tended to go out of his way to make sure everyone (including Zuko) was happy.

With a dejected sigh, Zuko walked back on shore and started to dry himself. Even if it _wasn't_ wrong and disgusting… Even if by some miracle Anil would be okay with it…

Why would Aang ever want _him_?

* * *

They all sat around the fire, chowing down on their rabbaroo meat and berries. Except for Aang, who was currently arguing with his father. "But it's part of our traditions! It's who we are!"

"We're not defined solely by our traditions. And we're not the same Air Nomads as the ones before the war… traditions change. Now eat your dinner."

"I don't see what the harm is…" Aang mumbled. "It's not like the world will end if I become a vegetarian…"

"The world is getting less stable by the day. The last thing I want is for you to forsake an entire food group and make yourself sick."

"By eating _just_ berries?!"

"Yes, by eating _just_ berries! Berries don't have all the nutrients you need to be healthy!"

"Well, Zuko practically only eats meat!" Aang pointed out. "Are you telling me _that's_ enough to be healthy?"

Zuko paused in his chewing. "Don't drag me into this…"

"Zuko probably _should_ eat more fruit than he does… which is my point! You need a balanced diet!"

Aang waved his book in the air. "It's not like the Air Nomads were plagued with disease and poor health!"

"Which brings me back to my _original_ point, which is that we don't live in a stable world like they did. We don't have access to the same resources."

Zenji was probably enjoying Anil's frustration a little too much. It wasn't often that he got frustrated, but Aang's recent attempts to revive the old traditions seemed to be doing the trick. However, it was getting to the point where it looked like they were about to bite each other's head off, so she piped up. "Anil, give it a rest. Let Aang try and be a vegetarian. After a couple days of horrific stomach cramps and persistent weakness, he'll come around."

Aang huffed at Zenji's assumption, and Anil just sighed. "Fine."

"Besides…" she continued, "We have more pressing issues. Such as, where are we going?"

Silence fell around the fire. Their lives had actually been quite simple before the war ended. They moved around, stayed in hiding to protect Zuko, but as long as they stayed in areas that were definitively either Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom, their lives were mostly peaceful.

Since the Earth Kingdom victory, it seems like more and more villages and towns were becoming war zones. The army seemed determined to wipe out every drop of Fire Nation blood they could find. Even territories that had not been occupied by the Fire Nation were becoming overwhelmed by soldiers who were participating in dubiously legal land grab as part of their compensation for serving the military.

Zenji and Anil started to discuss possible ideas when Aang slid over so to where Zuko was sitting. "You want my share of rabbaroo?"

Zuko looked down at Aang's plate and gave a small shrug, wordlessly grabbing the meat and putting it on his own plate. If Aang's sudden attempt at vegetarianism meant he would get more food, he certainly wasn't going to complain.

Aang kept looking at Zuko with a slight expression of worry. Zuko noticed, but tried to ignore it. Then, Aang leaned his head against Zuko's shoulder.

Zuko stiffened. It wasn't exactly unusual for Aang to do this, but with his recent _feelings_, it just made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He wanted to shove Aang off, say that he was too old to be doing such things. But at the same time, he was enjoying the feeling of warmth the proximity was bringing.

Hating himself just a little more, Zuko wrapped an arm around Aang, giving him a slight squeeze. Aang smiled, and Zuko couldn't help but smile in return.

Then someone sneered into his ear. "Why would we want to taint ourselves by _fucking_ it?"

Zuko jumped and turned around. He swiveled his head back and forth, looking for the source of the voice.

Aang sat up and looked at Zuko with a frown. "You alright?"

When Zuko snapped his head back to look at Aang, he saw that the young airbender was looking at him with a concerned look "Did you hear that?" Zuko asked.

Aang's frown deepened. "Hear what...?"

That certainly didn't make Zuko feel better. He tried to find the source again when he realized that he had _recognized_ that voice. It was Fong.

Or rather, _had been_ Fong.

_It was just a memory_, Zuko thought to himself, trying to calm his hammering heart. _It just seemed real…_

Aang touched Zuko's arm lightly. "Zuko…?"

Zuko flinched, pulling his arm away. "I'm fine," he said quickly, rubbing one of his temples. "I'm just tired… It's making me hear things." When Aang's look of concern didn't go away, Zuko forced a smile. "Really. Don't worry. I just need to get some sleep."

Aang smiled back, but didn't seem convinced.

"What do you boys think?" Zenji asked.

They both turned to Zenji and Anil. "Think of what?" Aang asked.

"I said that we should head towards Ba Sing Se," Anil said slowly. "I've heard that it's more stable closer to the city. Of course, there's no guarantee that's true, but it would at least give us a heading."

"I'm good with anything," Aang said. Zuko simply shrugged.

"Then it's decided," Zenji said. She lifted her arms in the air and stretched, her back audibly cracking. "Let's clean up and head to bed. I'm beat."

Zuko shoved the rest of his dinner into his mouth and started gathering all the plates and utensils. _It's been a rough day. You just need some sleep. You just need some sleep…_

* * *

_"Are you boys ready?" Fong asked, his arm raised in the air._

_Zuko stood, trembling and naked in the middle of the deck. His wrists were chained to the railing on either side. The chains were loose enough that Zuko could move around, but not enough to get far._

_Five soldiers stomped the deck and raised small rocks with their earthbending. They were all grinning in anticipation. Men were standing to the sides, watching the spectacle as they would watch a play or musical performance._

_Fong brought his arm downward, "FIRE!"_

_The soldiers thrust their arms forward, launching their rocks at Zuko. He tried to run and avoid the missiles, but when he one of chains suddenly became taut, he fell to the ground with a strangled yelp. When he tried to get back up, one of the rocks hit his face, splitting his lip open and knocking him back down. The soldiers kept up their assault, even when Zuko simple curled up on the deck, crying out as the stones hit their mark. He could hear the men on the sidelines laughing, taunting him, calling him pathetic._

_Zuko didn't even realize the barrage had ended until someone grabbed his hair and pulled him up. He let out a gasp as Fong pulled his head back. "What do you think?" he asked patronizingly. "Do you think their aim needs some work?"_

_His body covered in bruises and cuts, Zuko quickly shook his head. "Please, no more…" he begged._

_Instead of responding, Fong merely dragged Zuko back to the center of the deck. "Stay standing, you vermin."_

_He tried, but between his shaking and the pain, he unwillingly fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around himself, bracing for a blow, but Fong didn't correct him. He merely sneered in disgust before walking back to his original position._

_Zuko's frightened eyes followed him, and he realized that there was a new group of soldiers, a fresh pile of rocks in front of each of them_

_Fong raised his arm. "Ready?"_

Aang woke up, barely even aware that he was conscious. He looked up to see that it was still the middle of the night. With an annoyed sigh, he was about to roll over to go back asleep when he realized what had pulled him out of his slumber in the first place.

Zuko, who was sleeping just a few feet away, was tossing and turning. Sitting up, Aang could see a thin sheen of sweat decorating his skin in the moonlight. His breaths were quick and desperate, the occasional whimper slipping out. He was having a nightmare.

Groggily kicking his blanket off, Aang stumbled to Zuko's sleeping bag. He gently pulled Zuko's blanket back, crawled under, and flung an arm over Zuko's waist.

The firebender immediately stiffened at the contact but then slowly rolled over and wrapped his arms around Aang, squeezing him tightly and burying his face into Aang's hair. Zuko was trembling so hard it almost made Aang's teeth chatter. As best he could in his semi-compromising position, Aang squeezed back, pressing himself against Zuko as hard as he could to silently tell Zuko that he was here for him. "It's just a dream…" Aang said quietly. "It's over now."

Zuko's body shook and tensed as if his nightmare was manifesting itself. His eyes were wide and staring into the night, seeing nothing but soldiers aiming at him with devilish grins. The echos of their sordid laughter resonating cruelly in his head.

He squeezed Aang tighter, gripping him like a lifeline. He was ashamed to use Aang as his anchor, grasping him tightly, breathing desperately into his hair. He knew that this would probably only reinforce his inappropriate feelings. But in this very moment, if he let go, he was certain that he'd fall so deep into the past he'd never find his way out.

He hated himself. He hated everything about himself to the very core of his being. He wish he could just rip himself apart and completely erase his existence.

But he was a selfish coward. He genuinely enjoyed the small moments... when Zenji made him laugh, when Anil smiled at him, when Aang wrapped his arms around him...

Small, shameful moments like this made him want to bash his skull in.

But he didn't.

He just kept hanging on, relishing the warmth of his little wayward family.

But maybe… maybe someday… he would be brave enough to let go.

* * *

**Okay, so only a _little_ depressing...**

**So what do you think? Review and let me know! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello, everyone!**

**I feel like my writing quality is decreasing with each chapter. But I don't know how else to write out these scenes... Ugh.**

**Anyway, enjoy Chapter 8!**

* * *

It had been two weeks since they decided to head to Ba Sing Se. They avoided the main roads except to occasionally check that they were heading in the right direction.

When they traveled, they didn't travel in a single group. They each had their own pace and prefered mode of transport. Aang, who was constantly curious, preferred to jump from tree to tree, examining all the bits of nature and environmental phenomenon he could find. Zenji was more fast paced, often getting a bit further ahead than the others, though always staying within shouting distance. Anil was more relaxed, though tried to stay relatively close to his son to keep an eye on him, much to the teen's annoyance.

Zuko preferred to stay on the ground. Partially because he wasn't an airbender, and it was much more dangerous for him to be jumping through the trees. However, he also simply liked walking through the woods, even if he had to climb over some obstacles. It was relaxing and peaceful.

"If you want water, you're going to have to beg for it. Like a _dog_."

Zuko slammed his fist into the nearest tree. Okay, so it was _usually_ relaxing and peaceful.

He didn't need to look around to know that there was no one else there. He knew it was in his head, a remnant of the past. He was no stranger to flashbacks and nightmares. He had spent the last five years learning how to cope with them. In fact, in the last two years, they hardly affected his life at all.

He looked down at his fist, his fingers ghosting over the few little scraps that were there. There was something... _different_ about these flashes. They seemed so much more real. He knew they weren't, but his sense of reason was the only justification he had. It wasn't just voices. It was the bodily sensations. Sometimes he could feel the whip being dragged across his back or a fist being slammed across his face. Again, the lack of blood or injury was the only proof he had that it wasn't real.

What was more disturbing was that they were becoming more frequent.

In that regard, he was grateful for their near-constant travelling. It was much easier to hide these problems when they were all relatively separated. Of course, it wasn't as easy to hide from his family at night. And naturally, these little episodes were at their worst at night.

A couple weeks ago, the night when Aang comforted him was mortifying to say the least. It had been years since anyone had had to comfort him like that. He was an adult now, for spirits' sake.

While these more-vivid-than-real-life nightmares had persisted in the last couple weeks, he had been able to keep himself from waking anyone else. If he was going to have these episodes, he wasn't going to drag his family into it.

"Zuko?"

He looked up to see Anil jumping down from one of the nearby trees. Zuko quickly put his hands behind his back, hoping that Anil hadn't seen anything of what had just transpired. "Is something wrong?" Zuko asked.

Anil shook his head. "No… can I walk with you?"

Zuko shrugged. "Sure."

They walked together, enjoying a few minutes of amicable silence. Then, Anil said, "How have you been, Zuko?"

Giving Anil a suspicious look, Zuko said, "Fine… why?"

Anil shrugged. "No reason."

That's a lie. While Zuko had little experience with anyone outside of their little group, but he was pretty sure Anil sucked at subtlety compared to the average person. Unlike Zenji, who didn't even _attempt_ to be subtle, Anil still tried to be tactful when talking to Zuko about anything relating to Fong. Honestly, Zuko wasn't sure how he felt about it. On one hand, he appreciated Anil trying not to unnecessarily trigger painful memories. However, it was a bit annoying when it was obvious that he wanted to talk and they ended up just beating around the bush.

After a few more minutes of silence, Anil said, "I can't help but notice that you seem a bit more… distant lately."

Zuko chuckled. "Yes, because I'm normally just a bundle of sociability."

Anil didn't seem amused. "I've noticed that you've been having a lot of nightmares lately."

Zuko closed his eyes despondently. So much for hiding his nightly episodes. Still, he tried to play it off. "Because nightmares are a rarity in my life," he stated sarcastically.

"Stop deflecting. I know what you're doing, and it's not going to work."

"So I've had a bad couple of weeks..." Zuko said. "So what?"

Of course, he knew that this wasn't just a 'bad' couple of weeks, but he'd be damned before he admitted that to Anil.

Anil placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from walking further. "Zuko… you should know by now that you don't need to hiding things from us."

"I'm not hiding." _Now who's the liar?_

Of course, Anil could see right through him. It was obvious in the way he was staring at him. Then, after another round of silence, Anil said quietly, "Have you given any thought to firebending again...?"

"No," Zuko replied immediately. "I don't need firebending."

"It's not about _needing_ it. Look, I know we've had this conversation many times…"

"Then why bother having it again?"

"Because I'm worried! I'm hoping that one of these times, you'll actually _listen_ to me. Whether you like it or not, you are a firebender. It's not healthy for you to keep your bending bottled up inside… It will drive you mad."

Zuko tried not the flinch at the accusing tone. He hated letting Anil down, but his fear for firebending outweighed his dejection over Anil's disappointment with him. "Are you done?" Zuko asked quietly. At this point, he just wanted to be alone.

Anil gazed at him desperately, silently imploring with him. Finally, he gave a defeated sigh and wrapped his arms around the young man. "I only want you to be happy, Zuko."

Zuko only momentarily stiffened before relaxing into the embrace, though he didn't return it. He wanted to respond, to say that he _was_ happy... That he had never been happier than when he was with Anil, Zenji, and Aang. And while that was all true… the words died on his tongue and tasted of ashes. Even if it wasn't a lie, it still _felt_ like a lie.

There was laughter. "How does it feel to be covered in your own feces?"

Zuko violently pulled away, his hands reflexively rubbing his face and trying to scrape the filth off. It was only a second later that he realized that nothing was there. He looked down at his clean hands disbelievingly.

"Zuko, are you alright?"

He looked up at Anil, a familiar rant echoing in his head. _I hate myself, I hate myself…_ "I-I'm fine. I just thought a… a bug hit my face." It was a weak excuse, but it was all he had. He grasped his hands together behind his back, trying to get them to stop shaking. "We should get moving before Zenji or Aang figure out we've fallen behind."

Anil watched as Zuko turned and started marching again. If he hadn't been concerned before, he certainly was now. However, short of trying to slap some sense into the young man (which he _wasn't_ about to do), Anil was at a loss for how to help him. If Zuko wouldn't even admit that there's a problem, how can anyone hope to find a solution?

"I'm only trying to help you," Anil muttered in dismay.

* * *

Aang was jumping from tree to tree, trying out various new moves. His father didn't seem to be nearby, so he took this as an opportunity to practice some of the older forms of airbending he had read about.

It was a few months ago that Aang found an old forgotten tome of Air Nomad history and poetry. It had been written by someone named Laghima. Aang read through it within a week and found that he had been completely enthralled by what the Air Nomads had once been. They didn't seem _anything_ like the airbenders in the enclave. They weren't bittered by war and blinded by fear. The Air Nomads of old seemed to be truly free. In fact, Laghima encouraged the idea of never drawing conclusions, since thinking you know the truth would only limit your understanding of the world. Ever since, he had gained a couple more books about the Air Nomad culture.

Aang wanted to emulate these people. They seemed content, at peace… happy. Why _wouldn't_ he want to be like them?

While Zenji hadn't been wrong about the stomachaches, Aang refused to give up. The Air Nomads believed that it was always wrong to take a life, no matter the circumstances. It was possible to live without killing animals, so why not do so? Aang would admit, it hadn't been easy. At first, it was torture to be near the smell of cooking meat, especially with his digestive tract bent on revenge. However, after the first few days, it started to get easier. It was still difficult at times, and he definitely had less energy than before. But he was determined.

Aang landed on one branch when he saw a small animal near the trunk of the tree. It was a species he'd never seen before. It was small, brown with red stripes. It wasn't much larger than Aang's hand. Curious, Aang slowly approached the small critter. He noticed that it had a long, nose that was actively sniffing the air.

He placed a hand down against the branch. The little critter slowly stepped forward before cautiously crawling onto his hand. Giggling incessantly, Aang slowly lifted up his hand to get a closer look. He gently started to pet it, and the critter leaned against his fingers.

It was just so darn _cute_.

He was so absorbed by the curious little creature that he didn't see the snake-like creature slithering up behind him, eyeing the meal in Aang was holding. He was only aware of a small hiss before something pierced his hand, and a burning pain spread through his veins. He cried out, and instinctively jerked his arm to fling the offending creature off of him. The mammal got flung away as well, but Aang had other concerns at the moment, such as the intense sting that was slowly crawling up his arm. Aang looked at his hand. There were two puncture wounds, both bleeding freely. He noticed that the flesh around them was starting to swell, and the pain in his arm didn't seem to be ceasing at all.

_This isn't good…_

He had no idea what possible effects this poison could have. Or if it was deadly. Trying not to panic, Aang jumped down from the tree, landing softly on the ground. He almost immediately fell over, his head starting to spin. _Not good, not good…_ "Dad!" Aang cried out. "Zenji! Zuko!"

Zenji was the first to find him. She immediately looked concerned and knelt in front of him, carefully look at his hand. "What happened?"

"Something bit me… I didn't see what, but I think it was some sort of snake…"

His father arrived, followed soon after by Zuko. Aang must have looked worse than he felt, because they both looked terrified upon seeing him. "Snake bite," Aang explained. "At least, I think it was…"

Anil knelt in front of his son, placing a hand on his forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"My hand is swelling like a balloon and my arm feels like there's a thousand needles in it." Aang took a deep breath, suddenly out of breath. "I'm also kind of hot…"

"We need to get him to a healer," Zenji said. "Sooner rather than later."

"I can see that!" Anil said, his worry making his temper short. "But we're in the middle of nowhere..."

Zenji looked up towards the sky. "Give me a second." She jumped up into the tree and disappeared into the branches.

Aang started to shake, and he knew that he really was in trouble. Between the pain, the difficulty breathing, and the uncontrollable tremors, there was no doubt that he was badly poisoned. It was affecting him fast too, which meant if it was deadly…

Zuko placed a hand on his shoulder, breaking him from his train of thought. Zuko looked worried, but managed to give Aang an encouraging smile. Aang weakly smiled back, grabbing Zuko's hand with his own uninjured hand and squeezing it tightly.

Zenji floated back down to the ground. "All I saw was a single column of smoke due north. There might be a house or a small village there."

Not having any other choice, they headed north. Aang tried to walk on his own, but his shaking rendered his limbs essentially useless. Anil and Zuko both pulled each of his arms over their shoulders, taking an agonizingly slow pace towards the smoke.

By the time a single small house came into view, Aang's breathing was shallow and his entire body felt like it was on fire. His vision was blurred beyond recognition and the edges were slowly turning black.

Zenji banged on the door, but there was no response. She slowly opened it, asking if there was anyone home. Again, no response.

"Aang won't make it anywhere else," Zuko said earnestly. "We need to see if there's anything _here_ that can help him. We can find a way to pay the owners back later."

Anil and Zenji seemed to both be in agreement since they didn't argue. They carried Aang inside and laid him down on the table. At this point, the young airbender was barely conscious. He was sweating profusely, his skin hot to the touch. Zuko kept by him as Anil and Zenji started pilfering the cabinets, looking for anything that might help. Of course, since they had no idea what did this, they also had no idea what _could_ help.

As they searched, Zuko started to clean the bite wounds. Zuko knew nothing of herbs or poultices (neither did Anil, though he knew more than Zuko). And while it wasn't strictly necessary, Zuko needed to do _something_ to keep his mind off the fact that Aang may actually be dying… of a stupid snake bite.

_Stop thinking like that. You don't know that. He just… appears to be dying…_

Aang was moving restlessly on the table, shivering and rubbing his arms. When he let out a small whimper, Zuko placed a hand on his forehead, gently stroking his sweat-soaked hair back. "Shh… You're okay..."

Aang calmed minutely, his eyes blinking blearily up at Zuko. Zuko gave a small smile, but it disappeared when Aang's eyes just moved back and forth. He was delirious.

Zuko turned to Anil and Zenji. "Isn't there _anything_ here that can help him?"

Zenji inspected an empty jar before tossing it aside with a growl of frustration. "I don't get it… This place is too clean to be abandoned. But there aren't any practical supplies here to speak of. How can anyone be _living_ here?"

"Maybe they're not," Anil said. "Maybe it was just abandoned recently."

"And left a _fire_ burning?!"

"Regardless, there's nothing here." He turned around and stared helplessly at his son. "We could bleed him…"

"No," Zenji said. "Slicing his arm open is not going to help. It's too dangerous"

"We have to do something!" Anil said. "I am not about to sit here and just watch my son die!"

Zuko wrapped an arm around his middle. He couldn't believe this was happening. This _couldn't_ be happening. This was just a bad dream. Just another bad dream…

Fong grabbed his arm, his voice just inches from his ear. "Time for a little game…"

Zuko reflexively hit his head with the palm of his hand. _Not now… don't do this to me **now**..._

"What are you people doing here?!"

Everyone whirled around to see a man standing in the opening of a door. Behind him, they could see a staircase leading downward.

"I'm sorry for intruding," Anil said quickly, "But my son was bitten by a snake and is badly poisoned. Please, can you help us?"

The man looked down at the table where Aang lay. His gaze softened a little but he shook his head. "I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do."

"Please!" Anil begged. "He's dying! There isn't any villages or towns for miles!"

Zuko, his head spinning, was barely able to focus on what Anil or the man was. All he was aware of was the phantom pains he felt as another memory played out before him. They were laughing, absolutely joyous at the opportunity to beat him once again for their amusement.

Closing his eyes, he dug his fingernails into his arm, trying to adjust his focus back on the present. Slowly, the real pain slowly drove away the memory. He didn't open his eyes until the laughter completely died away. When he did, the first thing he saw was a gourd-shaped instrument leaning against the wall in the other side of the room.

Zuko frowned. He had seen that kind of artifact before. Sometime recently…

_Aang held up the book to Zuko's face. "And this is a dorje!"_

_Zuko stared at the picture. It looked like two balls that had a spike running through it. "And what does it do?"_

_Aang looked back down at his book. "It says Air Nomads used them for some sort of ritual. It represents strength of spiritual power."_

An Air Nomad relic.

Zuko looked at the man who lived here. Specifically, he looked at his style of dress. It looked to be generic Earth Kingdom clothing, nothing special. Except he was wearing a hat that covered his forehead. And his hands were wrapped so you couldn't see the backs of them.

Without any forethought, Zuko exclaimed, "You're an airbender!"

Silence fell, and the man looked at Zuko. "I don't know what you're talking about…"

"I-it's okay!" Zuko said. He placed a hand on Aang's shoulder. "Aang's an airbender too! So is Anil and Zenji!"

Anil didn't know where Zuko was drawing this conclusion from, but when he noticed how that man was attired, Anil's eyes widened. "You have the traditional tattoos… don't you?"

The man's eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"

Anil flicked his arm, demonstrating his bending with a gentle breeze. Zenji followed suit and did the same. "We're airbenders... Just like you!" If this man knew that they were kin, maybe he would be more inclined to help them. To help Aang.

The man seemed to relax minutely upon seeing him bend, but then he looked back at Zuko. "You're not an airbender?"

Zuko's eyes widened and he leaned back a little. "I… uh…"

"This is my son," Zenji said quickly. "His name is Lee, and no, he's not a bender."

The man continued to stare at Zuko, and for a moment, Zuko feared he might start inquiring about his scars. But then he looked back at Anil. "Grab your son and follow me."

Without question, Anil grabbed Aang and pulled him over his shoulders. They all followed the man as he descended back down the stairs. They expected to come into a basement, where the man presumably kept all of his supplies.

But the staircase just went down. And down. And down. And down…

When the came to the bottom and they were faced with three tunnels all lined with torches, it became clear that the house was just a cover. It was just the entrance into a much larger place.

"This way." The man proceeded down the far left tunnel, leading them through a series of twists and turns. They could hear the sound of people conversing as they passed some of the other tunnels. It didn't take much for any of them to realize what this place was.

It was another enclave.

They finally arrived in a small room. There was only one person there, dressed in the traditional orange and yellow clothes with blue tattoo arrows visibly adorning his forehead and hands. When he saw them at the entrance, his jaw dropped. "Hao...? Who are these people?"

"They're airbenders," the man, Hao, said. "One of them was bitten by something. They need help."

The healer looked skeptical, but nodded. "Alright." He looked at Anil. "Place him on the bed here."

Anil did as he was told. "He was bitten about an hour ago. He said it was some sort of snake."

The healer looked at the bite, which was purple and inflamed. "What are his symptoms?"

"He's in p-pain. A-and shaking. Almost immediately. He said he was hot and he's having trouble breathing."

The healer nodded. "A widower snake. They're fairly common and quite deadly. Thankfully, we have plenty of anti-venom." He went to cabinet and grabbed a vial and a syringe. "While the symptoms have a fast onset, it can take a few hours before it becomes truly fatal."

Anil watched carefully as the healer injected his son with the anti-venom. "So… he'll be okay?"

"Yes. He'll be weak for a couple days, but he'll be back to normal in about a week." The healer threw the syringe away and pulled a blanket over Aang. "You're very lucky you found us. Extraordinarily lucky actually…" The healer addressed Hao. "Go back to your post. I'll take care of these four."

Hao gave a quick bow before leaving.

"I'm Piao," the healer said, with a small bow.

Anil returned the bow, honestly exhausted and overwhelmed from the past hour's events. "I'm Anil. This is my son, Aang…"

Zenji stepped forward and bowed as well. "My name is Zenji."

Piao bowed before looking past them at the young man who stood not far, but clearly separate from the others. His arms crossed protectively in front of him, he seemed to be trying to hide. Given the scars on his face, his behaviour wasn't surprising to Piao. "And you are...?" Piao asked softly.

The young man frowned before giving a quick bow and muttering, "Lee." He looked at Aang, whose restlessness had calmed noticeably in the last few minutes. "He's going to be okay?"

Piao nodded with a smile. "Yes. He's going to be fine."

Lee relaxed slightly, but avoided eye contact with the healer. Of course, Piao didn't mind. The healer returned his attention to Anil and Zenji. "Your son's ailment aside, this is actually quite wonderful. Our enclave hasn't been in contact with any other airbenders in decades now."

Anil nodded, unsurprised. It had been the same with their enclave. Though it honestly put him on edge. He believed their reclusiveness had been part of the reason they had been so closed minded about Zuko. And while Zuko's identity was hidden for now, the last thing he wanted was for Zuko to suffer more hatred.

"Of course, that means that your presence here is unprecedented. You're going to need to speak with the head of the enclave, Gyatso. Would you rather come with me to meet him or stay here?"

Anil sat on a chair next to Aang's bed. "I'm staying here," he said.

"Very well," Piao said. "I'll be back momentarily.

When the healer left, Zenji went to stand by Anil, who was holding onto his son's hand. "Piao said he's going to be fine," she said quietly.

"I know…" Anil said. "But if we hadn't found this place…" He wasn't able to stay it aloud. "I should have kept a closer eye on him."

"Aang is fourteen. He's too old for you to be constantly hovering over him. Besides, you probably wouldn't have been able to prevent this anyway. This isn't the first time one of us has gotten bitten. We were just lucky that none of them had been lethal before."

Anil didn't respond, just stared at Aang's unconscious face. He was still sweaty and pale but didn't seem to be in any more pain.

"He's going to be fine," Zenji repeated. "Just focus on that." She looked around the infirmary. "That, and the fact that we're currently among airbenders again."

Anil nodded. "It'll be interesting to see what they're like. Especially since we're probably stuck here for at least the next week. I don't want to travel until Aang is completely recovered."

Zenji turned and saw that Zuko was sitting on the floor against the wall, his arms resting on his knees. He was staring at the ground with his eyes half-mast. A few days rest would probably be good for them. They were all exhausted.

As promised, Piao quickly returned with an elderly man, presumably Gyatso. The older man smiled and bowed upon seeing them. "Welcome to our home. My name is Gyatso. It is an honor to finally have some contact with airbenders from other enclaves."

Zenji and Anil looked at each other. "We're actually not with an enclave," Zenji said. "The four of us travel on our own."

"Hmm… well, I suppose that would explain why you chose not to have tattoos. Well, it matters not. Piao mentioned that your youngest, Aang, was bitten by a widower snake. I would advice you to stay here in the enclave until he's better again."

"You're very kind," Anil said. "I would like for my son to fully recover before moving on."

"Of course, you are welcome to stay longer," Gyatso offered. "Word has it that the world has become increasingly unstable, despite the war having come to an end."

"Thank you for the offer," Anil said, neither accepting nor rejecting it.

Gyatso smiled. "I'm sure you're all tired. Piao will help you find some rooms for you."

Zenji knew the last thing any of them wanted to do was to leave Aang alone in this strange place. "Actually… if it's allright, could we sleep here?"

Piao bowed with a smile. "It's absolutely no problem."

Gyatso left, bidding them goodnight. After Piao grabbed extra blankets and pillows for them, he did the same. He said his room was just down to the left and to get him if they needed anything, or if Aang's condition changed.

The wayward group settled in, and they were astonished to find that they all fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

**So what do you think? Review and let me know!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello, everyone!**

**Thank you all for your reviews! I love hearing from you guys. It really motivates me to keep writing :)**

**That being said... some of you might hate me after this chapter.**

**Anyway, enjoy Chapter 9!**

* * *

The next few days were nothing if not… interesting.

Aang had regained consciousness the next morning. After some confusion and a lot of explaining, Piao gave him the okay to leave the infirmary. They were all moved to their own room in another part of the underground enclave.

Aang was immensely excited to be among airbenders who practiced the old traditions. Though he also tired easily and spent the first few days mostly sleeping. Nevertheless, the four of them spent most of those first few days just familiarizing themselves to their new environment. Having been mostly isolated for the last several years, it was strange for them to be surrounded by other people. Especially other airbenders.

The members of the enclave also had to adjust, not used to having new faces in their settlement that weren't infants. Most of them were curious and excited about the newcomers. However, there were only a few that were brave enough to actually approach and converse with them. Gyatso decided that once Aang was fully recovered, the enclave should hold a banquet to welcome their guests. He suggested that a more formal introduction (with the presence of food) would be a more ideal environment for acquainting themselves with each other. At least the food would offer some natural topic of conversation.

The day of the banquet, Aang and Zuko went to a large cavern which served as the enclave's training grounds. It was mostly filled with equipment designed for airbending or for airbending based games. However, Zuko had seen some dummies in an isolated corner that he could use to practice with his blades.

With everyone preparing for the dinner, it was almost completely empty except for one other person: Gao, the man who brought them into the enclave into the first place. Aang, who was virtually recovered at this point, was excited to train with a different style of bending. Zuko excused himself to the side area with the dummies, which was out of sight, but not out of earshot.

For the first hour, the airbenders just demonstrated their respective styles to each other. Aang found that his style was much more aggressive than Gao's. Gao's bending seemed to focus more on avoidance and separation. Aang supposed that the enclave he grew up in had been in more present danger, so had to develop a more… fatal style of bending in order to survive. While it had been necessary, Aang much preferred _this_ enclave's form of bending.

"I don't know how long we're going to stay at the enclave..." Aang said, "... but could you teach me your enclave's katas?"

"I'd be happy to," Gao said. "I wouldn't mind having you show me a few of your katas again as well."

Aang frowned. "Really? But they're so… _violent_. I mean, they have spirit of evasion, but their purpose is to take down the opponent at any cost…"

"They do seem to stray from the Air Nomad values, but frankly, we don't live in a peaceful world." Gao pointed up. "I'm one of a few people here who regularly keeps guard at the entrance of the enclave. If I want to protect everyone here, I need to be willing to learn a variety of forms. Straying from tradition isn't bad as long as you remain practical."

"You sound like my father… except you're less confrontational about it."

Gao smiled. "You've had a very different life than I have had. I'm sure your father just wants to protect you."

Zuko was stepping through his forms around the dummy, practicing his parries on imaginary attacks. For the most part, he wasn't listening to the airbenders at all.

"I wanted to ask…" Gao said. "And you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable, but how did you get that scar on your face? From a Fire Nation soldier?"

_That_ caught Zuko's attention. Relaxing from his stance, he held his blades loosely at his sides as he listened, morbidly curious how Aang would answer the question.

"Oh this…?" Aang automatically traced a finger along the burn scar that stretched from his mouth to behind his ear. "Uh… not a Fire Nation soldier… exactly…"

Unbeknownst to Zuko, Gao looked in his direction. "Lee has quite a few scars himself… are they related?"

Aang quickly shook his head. "No, they're not. This was just an accident. Z-... Lee's scars…" He struggled to come up with an explanation.

"It's okay," Gao said, "You don't have to tell me."

_An accident_. It wasn't a lie. It _had_ been an accident. But it still felt like Aang wasn't telling Gao the truth. Hiding the fact that it had been _Zuko_ who had inflicted the injury felt like they were hiding the fact that Zuko was a monster. It just felt deceitful.

"You're not going to bother correcting them, you conniving brat?"

Zuko turned towards the voice, expect to once again see nothing there. But he was wrong. His eyes widened and he suddenly found it difficult to breath as his gaze fell upon _him_.

"You're just going to let them think you're innocent?" Fong demanded. He grabbed the shell-shocked Zuko by the collar of his shirt and slammed him up against the wall. "You must be enjoying this… enjoying living as though you're just a regular _human_."

"Y-y-you're not real…" Zuko stuttered out. _This can't be real… This **can't** be real…_ He blinked several times trying to get the illusion to go away, but it didn't work.

Fong sneered. "You're that same arrogant brat that you were when we first kidnapped you." He raised a fist and slammed it into Zuko's face. He allowed Zuko to fall to the ground, trembling, his hand covering where Fong had struck him. "Do you require another lesson? Do you need another reminder of what exactly you are?"

Zuko tried to think rationally. He needed to think beyond what his eyes were telling him, what the aching pain in his face was telling him. There was no way Fong just randomly appeared in the enclave. That was impossible. Also, why wasn't Aang or Gao seeing what was happening? It's because Fong wasn't actually here. It was all in his head. It was all in his head… "You're n-not real…" he repeated under his breath.

Fong laughed. "I'm not real? Well, answer me this: does it really matter? Does the fact that I'm not real make you any less of a monster?"

Zuko slowly stood back up, grabbing one of the blades he had dropped. "Shut up…"

"The answer is _no_. You will always be a worthless, out of control _monster_."

"I said SHUT UP!" Zuko swung the blade at Fong, hitting him square in the shoulder and slicing clean through him.

But there was no body. No blood, no cry of pain. There was only Zuko, standing there with his blade deeply embedded in the dummy.

Zuko's trembling didn't cease. In fact, it only got worse as he realized that he could have just killed someone. If Gao or Aang had come to check on him… if he had swung his sword at Aang…

He quickly let go of the blade, not bothering to even pull it out. His head spinning and his stomach on the edge of rebelling, he quickly left the training grounds without even speaking to either airbender.

He needed to be alone. He needed to be away from his blades or any other sort of weapon. He just needed some more sleep. There was still a few hours before the banquet. A quick nap would do him good. It would clear his head.

_Does the fact that I'm not real make you any less of a monster?_

He was fine. He was just fine. He just needed to get some sleep… Then he would be fine.

_Worthless, out of control **monster**._

Zuko didn't notice that he was digging his nails into his arm. Or that he was drawing blood.

He was perfectly fine.

* * *

The banquet was held in their largest hall. With virtually every member of the enclave present, Anil could accurately estimate that the enclave consisted of about a hundred and fifty people. It was larger than the enclave they used to live in, but not by much.

And these people were _much_ more pleasant. Of course, that might just be because they didn't know of Zenji's ancestry or Zuko's identity yet. Still, Anil was willing to accept that these people were genuinely kind until they proved otherwise.

Of course, he had had to make a lot of adjustments in the last week. This enclave seemed to live much more traditionally than he was used to, much to his son's delight. They even ate a completely vegetarian diet.

"It's not about just eating fruits and vegetables," Piao had said. "There are still nutrients we need that we can't get from most fruit, which is why we have to balance our diet with nuts, yogurt, and beans."

Aang had given him probably the smuggest look Anil had ever seen.

Gyatso's introduction to the enclave was, thankfully, the most awkward part of the banquet. However, he had been right about the food; it made a great conversation starter.

While Anil had a few surface conversations with various people, it was actually Gyatso that Anil ended up conversing at length with. "Zenji is not Aang's mother?"

Anil nearly spit out his drink at the question. "What? No. She's just a good friend."

"I see. I suppose it is safe to assume that you are not Lee's father, then?"

At first, Anil shook his head. Then he thought about it. When the four of them traveled alone, they didn't have any need to attach labels onto themselves for the sake of other people. They weren't 'father' or 'son' or any other designation. They were simply… them. But if they _had_ to assign such labels… why _wouldn't_ Zenji be Aang's mother? She had been his main, adult female support for the better part of his life. The only other motherly figure Aang had ever had had been Tara, whom Aang wouldn't even acknowledge now.

And Zuko… Anil would admit that he thought of himself as Zuko's father. He had never consciously acknowledged it to himself before, but there was really no question about it. Anil loved Zuko just as much as he did Aang. Of course, his concerns for Aang were much different than his concerns for Zuko, but that didn't change the fact that he would do anything for either of them.

He didn't realize that he had suddenly fallen silent during their conversation until Gyatso said, "Of course, family isn't just about blood, isn't it? It's about who you love and care for implicitly."

Anil smiled, pleasantly surprised by Gyatso's perceptiveness. "Do you have any family?" Anil asked.

Gyatso returned the smile. "Not by blood."

Zenji was completely content to chow down on the food and avoid all possible conversation. As a rule, being around airbenders put her on edge. Of course, these weren't the same people as the ones she grew up with, but that fact didn't really put her to ease.

She had been surprised to find that their food was actually really tasty. The idea of a purely vegetarian diet had put her off at first, but apparently if you cook it all just right, it can be delicious.

She was enjoying a small batch of tiny mushrooms when there was a small voice behind her. "Um… excuse me." She turned around to find a brawny looking young man, probably in his twenties. Despite his physique, he seemed a bit hesitant to strike up a conversation with her.

Zenji smiled internally. _Good. I can still be intimidating._ "Yes?"

"I didn't want to bother you..." he said, "...but I noticed you weren't talking to anyone, so… I wanted... to ask… ask about your staff."

She raised an eyebrow, uncertain she heard him correctly. "My staff?" she repeated.

"Yes… You see, I'm a woodworker. I make staffs for the enclave. I… uh… saw you training the other day and noticed how unusual yours was. It looks better suited for war than for travel. Which isn't a bad thing!" he quickly amended. "It's just not something I'm familiar with. I don't get to be creative much, since most people here just want a standard glider. Anyway, I was hoping I could talk to you about your staff or maybe even take a look, and now I'm just rambling, aren't I…"

Zenji was taken back by the request. However, instead of shrugging him off like she thought she would, she found herself smiling. "What's your name?"

"What? Oh, it's Eiji."

"Well, Eiji. I'm going to grab another plate of food. Why don't you do the same and then we can find somewhere to sit and talk?"

Eiji's expression immediately brightened as his face broke into a wide grin. "Okay! Thank you so much!"

Zuko, not unlike Zenji, was trying to avoid all possible conversations. It wasn't difficult, since the combination of his scars and his demeanor seemed to ward most people off. He tried to eat, but found that he had almost zero appetite. After all the vomiting he did earlier, he thought he might be at least a _little_ hungry by now. After all, he hadn't been able to keep anything down since yesterday.

Aang slid onto the bench next to him. "Hey, there are some people who wanna teach me airball. Wanna come?"

"I can't airbend," Zuko stated dully.

"No… but I bet we can modify the rules so you can still play. C'mon, it'll be fun!" Aang looked up at him hopefully.

But Zuko shook his head. "No thanks, Aang."

Aang looked down at Zuko's plate and saw that his food was virtually untouched. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. Go play your game."

Aang placed a hand on Zuko's arm. "Zuko, are you sure you're - ?"

"I said I'm fine!" He yanked away from Aang's touch. When he saw the young airbender's startled expression, he sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just… tired."

Aang slowly nodded. "It's okay. You should sleep. Maybe you're getting sick."

_I wish._ "Maybe." Zuko stood and stepped out from the table. "I'm going to bed. Have fun."

"'Night…" Aang watched Zuko disappear into the crowd in the direction of their room. Zuko had been much more distant lately and he had no idea why. Maybe it was stressful to be surrounded by airbenders. It's not like his stay at the last enclave had ended well.

"Aang! You coming?"

He turned towards the others and nodded. "I'm coming."

But these airbenders were nothing like Monk Tashi, Tara, or the others. Aang hoped that Zuko would realize that after a few more days.

* * *

_I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself…_

Zuko wasn't even thinking it to himself. It was just echoing in his head over and over again. Not that he would deny the truth of it.

Once he got back to their room, he laid down on his bed. He knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. All he could think about was his… was Anil, Zenji, and Aang, all happy and enjoying themselves with the other airbenders.

He should be happy for them. After all, it was his fault that they've lived in isolation for five years. It must be nice for them to be among their own kind again.

He wrapped his arms around himself. He would never know what that was like. Everyone in the world had a nation, a people that they belonged to. Except for him. Which was horribly ironic when one considered that he had once been prince of one of these nations.

He didn't feel like a prince. He didn't feel like he had _ever_ been a prince. The Fire Nation wasn't home to him. If he ever went back, it would be completely foreign.

_A nation of monsters. War mongers, murderers, rapists, the lot._

_The prince of monsters._

Zuko sat up, hitting his fist against the wall. He just wanted to go to sleep. At least then, he had some slim chance of avoiding the nightmares that were constantly plaguing him.

"You're just pathetic."

Zuko's whole body stiffened. It wasn't Fong. His voice was deeper and more imposing. It was… older. Not in regards to age. In regards to memory. Slowly, he turned his head towards the center of the room where the voice had come from. Even though he already knew what he was going to find, he still felt his heart stop upon seeing the dark red robes lined with gold. And like the coward he was, he couldn't bring himself to look up at the man's face.

His father's face.

"You're not real…" Zuko said quietly, keeping his gaze on the ground. "You were killed a year ago."

The man laughed, making Zuko flinch. "Oh, you're so _naive_. You think that's enough to get rid of me?"

"Yes," Zuko said tersely.

Without warning, Zuko was grabbed by the hair and yanked up. He let out a frightened yelp as his head was pulled back and he was forced to face his father.

Except there was no face. There was just a black silhouette, the darkness swirling in a violent storm. With a small whimper, Zuko tried to turn away, but his father still had an iron grip on his hair.

"You're still as arrogant as you were when you were a child. Of course, this didn't change the fact that you were an utter _failure_. Azula was a year younger than you and had already mastered over a dozen forms more than you by the time she was _six_."

Zuko screwed his eyes shut. _Not real, not real…_

"Open your eyes and _look_ at me when I speak to you, you insolent brat!"

Zuko eyes snapped open and he stared into the darkness. When it spoke, the hatred and contempt of every word resonated into his mind, body, and soul.

"I should have ignored your mother and cast you out the very day you were born. It was obvious even then that you didn't have the _spark_. After your mother's _unfortunate_ passing, I started to devise a way to finally be rid of you, rid of the stain you inflicted upon Sonzin's lineage." He laughed maniacally. "Of course, this was all deemed unnecessary when that little Earth Kingdom band kidnapped you. Not only was I finally free of you, I could use the incident as propaganda. I could not have done it better myself."

A pair of hands grabbed Zuko's arms from behind and pulled them back. His father let go of him and then dissipated into a cloud of smoke, his laughter still echoing in the air. Whomever was grasping Zuko's arms pushed him downward and forced him to his knees. "Your own _father_ doesn't even want you," Fong growled into his ear. "Though I suppose you could still serve some purpose…"

Fong let go of his arms, but when Zuko brought them back forward, he found thick manacles encasing his wrists. He trembled, unable to tear his eyes from them. "No…"

The chains were suddenly pulled taut, his arms pulled in either direction. He was forced to stay on his knees, the chains too tight to stand up or to sit down fully without dislocating his shoulders.

"No!" Zuko screamed. "This isn't happening!" Even as he said the words, he doubted their validity. Trembling and terrified, Zuko shook his head in denial. "This isn't real…! This isn't - !"

A metal gag was shoved into his mouth, simultaneously forcing his mouth open and silencing him.

_Crack!_

Zuko turned his head and saw a faceless man, holding the all-too-familiar whip menacingly in his hand. He then noticed that he was naked, completely exposed to the torture that was about to be inflicted. Tears started to run down his face as he whimpered and tried in vain to pull away. But the man just smiled before raising his arm. Zuko closed his eyes and tensed just before there was the familiar crack. His body jerked forward and he screamed through his gag as the pain shot through his body.

_Maybe I was never rescued._

The man continued his assault, dragging the whip across Zuko's back over and over again. The whimpering sobs and muffled screams seemed to only encourage the man. Zuko could hear other men, laughing after every blow. He could feel the blood dripping down his back, see the droplets of blood beginning to decorate the walls.

_Maybe I've been here all along._

It was only when his sweat and blood soaked body started sag bonelessly against the chains that the beating stopped. Someone patted his head. "Good boy," they said. Zuko stared blankly at the ground, trying to escape this nightmare.

_Maybe I just made it all up._

He heard a sizzle and whoops of excitement, which beckoned him to raise his head to find the source.

_How pathetic is that? I had to make up a family to finally experience acceptance._

Fong stood in front of him, holding a long iron poker which was glowing red at one end. "I'll let you choose," he said. "Your inner thigh… or your inner arm?"

_I should have known. After all, no one **real** would ever actually care about **me**._

When Zuko didn't respond, Fong shrugged. "I suppose both will do." He stepped forward and pressed the iron to his thigh.

Zuko's eyes widened as he let out an unholy shriek, the gag doing little to quiet it. Fong kept it pressed there, laughing as Zuko writhed in his chains. It was only when Zuko's eyes started to roll back into his head that Fong finally pulled the poker away. He gazed at Zuko with a pleased expression. The pathetic creature's haggard breathes and small mewls of pain were like music to his ears. "And now for your arm..."

Zuko's head jerked up, staring at the poker with unadulterated fear. He didn't want this. He wanted out. He didn't care what it took, he wanted out of this world, out of this life. He'd do anything to escape.

_Anything._

Zuko snapped his jaw shut, the gag turning to ash. Pulling forward, the chains dissolved and Fong stepped back in astonishment. The pure agony radiating through his body, driving him to the edge of madness and desperation, Zuko made a fist and thrust forward, mustering every bit of fire he could summon.

The explosion of fire swept past Fong, his image dissolving to dust. The world around Zuko seemed to drop as he fell onto his fours, panting heavily. Still violently shaking, he looked down at his arms. The manacles were gone; only the scars remained. He was clothed again, the injuries gone, though the pain still reverberated through his body.

When he looked back up, he saw the fire. The bed in front of him was completely engulfed, the powerful flames roaring as they quickly consumed the cloth and wood material and started to spread.

Zuko's face paled upon realizing that he had done this. His firebending was destroying the contents of the room.

_Out of control monster._

Holding his hands to his chest, he stood and stumbled out of the room. He needed to leave. It didn't matter where he went. He just needed to get _away_.

He wasn't paying any conscious attention to the turns he made. He just kept running, keeping his hands close to his body. Somehow, he found himself at the staircase. The staircase that led outside. Without any second thought, he started to climb them. In his mind, all he could hear was his father's laughter and his own screams of agony._  
_

When he got to the top, he flung the door open and ran. Two airbenders were sitting in the house and they yelled something at him, but he didn't hear. He just shoved them aside and ran out into the night.

_Need to get away, need to get away, need to get away…_

* * *

**...**

**Please don't hate me.**

**So what do you think? Review and let me know!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello, everyone!**

**Well... at least this chapter doesn't end in a _complete_ cliffhanger...**

**Enjoy Chapter 10!**

* * *

In the banquet hall, the evening was progressing wonderfully. The initial excitement was starting to settle down, the volume of the din was lessening as people tired and went off to do other things. Everyone was satiated and happy.

Aang's new friends left early with their families, so he joined his father who was still speaking with Gyatso. They were mostly talking about boring stuff: politics, the status of the post-war world, etc. Aang slowly nibbled on what food was left, out of boredom more than anything else. He supposed he could go back to their room and see if Zuko was still awake. Then again, if he really _was_ getting sick, Aang didn't want to bother him.

There were only about twenty people left in the hall when another airbender, wearing Earth Kingdom clothes, came running in. He immediately ran to Gyatso, glancing at his leader worriedly.

Gyatso immediately frowned. "Why are you not at your post? Did something happen?"

The airbender quickly bowed. "I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. One of the newcomers, Lee, just ran out of the enclave."

Aang immediately sat up.

"_What?_" Anil said. "What do you mean 'just ran out of the enclave'!?"

"H-he didn't seem to be in his right mind…" the airbender said. "We tried to talk to him, but he didn't even seem to even _see_ us..."

"Anil!"

Zenji was running up to them, her expression anxious. "Someone just told me that our room was on fire. Apparently, _everything's_ been burned."

Anil's stomach sank. "Apparently Zuko just fled the enclave..."

Zenji gripped her staff tightly. "Fled...? As in, _ran away_?"

Anil nodded, feeling numb. "We have to find him."

"It's the middle of the night, and he looked as though a dark spirit was after him," the guard airbender said. "There's no way you'll be able to find him until morning."

"You underestimate my skill," Zenji snapped.

"Anil…" Gyatso said.

Anil turned to the old man. "Something must be wrong," he said quickly. "Zuko wouldn't _do_ something like this..."

"Anil…"

"We have to find him as soon as possible! If he's not in his right mind, he might hurt himself…"

"_Anil!_"

Anil stopped, realizing Gyatso had a very severe expression. Once the old man was sure he had Anil's attention, he said with purpose, "Who is _Zuko_?"

Anil's jaw opened to respond, but then he snapped it back closed. He hadn't realize that he had let Zuko's real name slip. Now, on top of Zuko having gone missing, they had to deal with the repercussions of having lied about his identity.

"I think you owe us an explanation," Gyatso said.

"Okay…" Anil said. "But we need to find Zuko _first_. I have no idea what state of mind he's in, but if it's as bad as I fear it is…"

Zenji stepped forward. "I'll find him. You stay here and do damage control."

"But - !"

"I'm the better tracker, and you're the better diplomat." Zenji placed a hand on his shoulder. "I promise, Anil... I'll find him and bring him back."

Anil clenched his fists before nodding. He watched as Zenji quickly ran out of the hall, feeling helpless. _It had been such a nice evening. How had it all fallen apart?_

No. This had been a long time coming. He had seen the signs, known that something had been building up inside Zuko: something _bad_. This was Anil's fault. He should have done more to make sure the Zuko was okay. After Aang got bitten, he had practically ignored Zuko, too preoccupied with Aang's well being. Even _after_ they knew that Aang was going to be okay.

Anil let out a small sigh. He may feel like Zuko's father, but he was doing a poor job of showing it.

"I imagine you will want to speak in private."

Anil turned towards Gyatso and nodded. He was cautiously hopeful about the lack of hostility in the man's tone, but it was overshadowed by the despondent dread of what had happened to Zuko.

_Please be okay._

* * *

There was one advantage to have spent years in near or total darkness; Zuko had excellent night vision. While most people would have been stumbling and tripping over the forest foliage and large tree roots, Zuko could see them all as clear as day and easily avoided them.

Which was good, because the last thing he needed was to have to blindly navigate these woods while Fong continued to sneer in his ear.

At the moment, Fong was laughing at him. "You can't seriously think that running away is going to change anything, can you? Running away isn't going to change the fact that you're a mons-"

"Look, I get it!" Zuko said. He was still trembling violently, his arms crossed across his chest protectively. "I'm a monster. I'm monster that needs to be controlled. I get it. I really do." Tears started to run down his face. Again. "Can't you just… leave me alone… Please?"

The humor left Fong's face, leaving behind a scowl. Zuko shrunk away in instinct. "Are you giving _me_ orders?"

Zuko quickly shook his head, avoiding eye contact. He honestly had no idea what was real anymore. If Fong was just a hallucination, then he should have nothing to fear from it. But the horrific pain he had just experienced back at the enclave… what if that was a glimpse into the real world? What if Zuko had just created _this_ world for himself, and now it was falling apart for some inexplicable reason?

He dully wondered how he managed to survive the torture after all these years. Of course, he had vague memories of Fong consulting some experts on the human body. Fong had intended to use him for as long as humanly possible.

He shivered. He recalled the times when they shoved his head into a bucket of water. They would monitor his heartbeatto make sure he didn't actually drown.

_Aw… does the little ash maker not like it when he's doused in water?_

He kept walking, barely conscious of what direction he was heading or what obstacles may lay in his path.

Fong suddenly appeared in front of him, stopping him. Zuko looked up just a moment before Fong wrapped a hand around his throat. "You've been spending too much time with airbenders. Running away is not going to solve your problems." He casually tossed Zuko back against a large tree.

Zuko fell to the ground between two large roots and immediately curled up and raised his arms above his head. "I-I'm sorry…!" he whimpered out desperately. "I j-just don't know w-w-what to do…"

He expected Fong to respond with some sort of biting retort. But it wasn't _Fong_ who responded.

"You need to learn to restrain your destructive abilities."

Zuko's throat constricted at the sound of the voice. He slowly looked up, wrapping his arms around himself again. Fong was gone, and he had been replaced.

By Anil.

"You burnt my son, but I was willing to forgive it. You were relatively young, after all. There weren't any other incidents, so we tolerated your presence." He shook his head. "But _this_? You just destroyed all of our belongings. You've betrayed our trust and the trust of the enclave."

Zuko slowly shook his head and tried to respond, but found himself barely able to breathe, let alone make a sound. For some unfathomable reason, he suddenly wanted Fong back. He leaned forward and hesitantly reached a hand out towards the man who he had come to think of as his father. "A-Anil…"

Anil shrank back from his hand. "Don't touch me! You think I would want to be anywhere _near_ you after what you've done?"

Zuko jerked his hand back as though it had been burned, looking up at the man with pleading eyes. "Anil, p-please… I-I've… tried so hard…!"

"Well that wasn't good enough. All you had to do was keep your firebending under control, and you _failed_."

Zuko's vision seemed permanently blurred by the uncontrollable tears. "Anil…" he begged, voice barely above a whimper.

Anil's lip curled as he looked down at him in disgust before beginning to walk away. "Stay away from me and my family."

_Crack!_

Zuko's head snapped to the side and saw Fong once again, holding a long single tailed whip that had a sharp piece of metal tied to the end.

With a small cry of fear, he turned back to Anil. "Please!" He reached out a hand towards Anil's back as he disappeared into the distance. "I-I'll do anything…!"

But Anil didn't come to his aid. He didn't even turn around. He just disappeared into the night. And all Zuko could do was stare at was his outreached hand.

_My hands..._

Zuko brought his hand back and stared at it. _These hands… these hands are dangerous._

Fong flicked the whip through the air before thrashing Zuko across his back.

Zuko cried out, feeling his back being ripped open as the metal tip tore through his flesh. Fong continued to flog him and Zuko could only lay low on the ground, his breathing labored from the absolute agony and grief. He stared at his hands, his brain only able to form a single conscious thought through the blinding torture.

_These dangerous hands have to be dealt with._

The beating stopped. Fong vanished. The agony in his back was gone. And Zuko smiled.

"I know how to fix this."

* * *

Aang had wanted to go with Zenji at first, but knew he would only hold her back. Aang was a terrible tracker and his night vision was rubbish.

When his father went to speak with Gyatso privately, Aang excused himself. He said he was going to check on their room and see what damage had been done.

When he got there, he found that someone had put up wooden barriers to keep people out. Aang simply pushed them aside. There were scorch marks on the edges of the doorway, but since the basic structure of the enclave was all stone, the flames hadn't spread to any of the other rooms.

Aang stood in the doorway, feeling numb as he stared at what had been their room. The walls and ceiling were charred black from the smoke and flames. The beds, the furniture, the furnishings… all reduced to nothing but ashes.

_Zuko… did **this**?_ He had never seen Zuko firebend before: not since the day Zuko accidentally burned him. In fact, Aang had hardly ever seen _any_ firebending. When he had, it had been at a distance and nothing particularly impressive. The fact that Zuko was able to completely obliterate the room was… formidable, to say the least.

Zuko had always told Aang that it was too dangerous for him to firebend. While that notion had seemed ridiculous at the time, looking at their room, Aang could understand where Zuko's fear was coming from.

Slowly, Aang walked through the room. The ash effortlessly jumped into the air, dancing around the airbender's legs. Once he got to the center of the room, he stopped and looked down at the swirling ash. He watched as it slowly twisted back down onto the ground, graying his shoes. Once it had completely settled, a small droplet fell from above and landed, darkening the ash in a perfect circle. It was soon followed by another. And then another.

Aang closed his eyes, both in an attempt to stop the tears and to cease staring at remains of their room. He knew Zuko had been hiding something, had been acting a bit off. But he had no idea that Zuko had been suffering so terribly that he felt the need to do… _this_. Zuko, who valued his self-control above all else…

He had been suffering like this all on his own.

Unable to hold back the sobs, Aang fell to his knees, once again disturbing the the ash. It made him cough a couple times, which only made him sob harder. Why hadn't Zuko said anything? Why did he feel the need to hide this from them? Why would he let himself get to the point where he would completely lose control?

Why, why, why…

_Because he's afraid._

And in the end, that was always the answer. Zuko was still afraid, still hiding from his past. Aang had spent enough nights curled in bed with the firebender during his night terrors to know that Zuko was afraid of losing his family. He was afraid that his problems and mistakes would eventually drive them all away. This fear is undoubtedly what led to his decision to not to tell them _anything_. In the past, Aang had tried to get Zuko to talk more, but it always resulted in Zuko just pushing him away, so he stopped.

Now he wished he had tried harder to get Zuko to open up.

Aang slammed his fist to the ground. He would give anything to be able to share the burden of Zuko's plagued past. If it were possible, Aang would take on all his horrible memories and his present suffering. It would be less painful than watching helplessly from the sidelines.

He looked at his hands which were now gray from having been on the ground. In fact, his entire body had a thin layer of the powdery residue. _I'll need to wash up. In fact, I should leave. It's probably not good for me to be breathing this all in._

But he didn't leave. He didn't even get up.

He just remained kneeling in the center of the room. And the ash continued to darken from fallen teardrops.

* * *

It wasn't a hard trail to follow. Zenji lowered her torch to the ground a few times to make sure she was seeing it right, but it was clear that Zuko hadn't taken any measures to cover his tracks. The other watch guard had said that he had been pale and sweaty and looked as though he wasn't really aware of what was going on around him. If this was accurate, that probably meant Zuko wouldn't be moving quickly or efficiently. Which was both good and bad.

Of course, the sooner she could Zuko, the better. That way she could knock some sense into his thick skull before he did something stupid. However, finding him quickly would also be very telling about his current mental state. And _that_ was bad.

But you know what's even worse?

Suddenly hearing him scream from not too far away.

"ZUKO!" Zenji sprinted in the direction of the scream. The screaming quickly diminished to silence, and her stomach dropped. "Zuko, whatever you're doing, stop it _right now_!"

She was running with such urgency that she nearly ran straight past him. He was curled in the nook between two large tree roots. However, Zuko let out a startled gasp when Zenji burst into his view, alerting her to his location.

Now that she found him, Zenji didn't immediately approach him. There was something in the air, something that stank. Zuko was pressed tightly against the tree, cradling his left arm to his chest and his eyes wide and slightly unseeing. While he was clearly aware of her presence, Zenji doubted that he was actually seeing _her_.

It reminded her of when he had found the drawing of her grandmother's rapist.

"It's just me… Zenji." Zuko didn't respond save for a small frown. "I don't know what happened…" she continued, "... but I promise you're safe now."

Zuko suddenly smiled. This only exacerbated Zenji's fears. Even in the best of moods, Zuko rarely smiled. He might cock his head with a small smirk or grin, but never this full-toothed expression.

"He's gone," Zuko said, his voice hoarse.

It was Zenji's turn to frown. "Who's gone?"

Zuko let out a soft laugh. "He's _gone_. A-and he hasn't come back…! Yet, anyway…" His expression sobered, his eyes filling with tears. "But I was a coward. I-I c-couldn't d-d-do the o-other one…"

With increasing horror, Zenji looked down at the arm Zuko was cradling to his chest. She couldn't see very well in the dull torch light, but with that thick smell in the air, the thick smell of _burnt flesh_…

"Zuko," she breathed. "What've you done?"

Zuko pulled his shaking arm out and looked at it. His hand was red and wet-looking, dead skin already starting to peel back from the burn. "I did what I had to do…"

For a moment, Zenji only stared at his hand, her mind refusing to accept what he was saying. _He wouldn't have... He couldn't be that stupid. He couldn't be that **desperate**._

_Don't just stand there like an idiot. Do something!_

In the blink of an eye, she was kneeling in front of Zuko and examining his hand. Thankfully, he didn't shy away, but he _was_ giving her a strange look.

All his fingers and his entire palm were completely burned. The burn extended to the back of his hand, but didn't completely consume it. Between the poor lighting and the fact that Zenji wasn't a healer, she hoped that it wasn't as bad as she thought it was. "We need to get you to a healer."

Zuko didn't respond. He was still staring at Zenji as though she might vanish at any moment. Zenji was concerned for Zuko's mental state, but knew that his burn was a more immediate threat. They needed to get it treated before infection set in. She put the torch out and tossed it aside. They weren't far from the enclave, and it was nearly a full moon. She'd be able to get back without it, and she had a feeling she would need both arms to help Zuko walk.

"C'mon, let's get moving." She grabbed him from under his armpits and hauled him to his feet. He was surprisingly light, considering he was taller than her. "Have you been eating _at all_ lately?"

Zuko just shrugged, leaning against her.

_Just get him back. They'll patch him up, and then we'll address everything else._ She pulled his uninjured arm over her shoulders and started guiding Zuko back to the enclave. "Don't worry, we're going to figure this all out. Just remember that you're safe now. The past is in the past." She continued rambling nonsense, both for Zuko's and her own benefit. "... the healers at the enclave will patch you up and…"

"_What?_" Zuko tore himself away from Zenji, staring at her with wide eyes. It was the most alert Zenji had seen him since she found him. "I-I can't go back… I'm out of c-c-control… I… I… our room…"

"Don't worry about our room," Zenji said sharply. "Everything there is replaceable. You are not."

Zuko shook his head, slowly stepping backwards away from Zenji. "I-I'm just g-g-going to hurt… _everyone_." Then he looked back up at Zenji with a realization. "Fong was right. I-I need to be controlled! He kept me locked away, beat me to submission in order to protect everyone else!"

"NO!" Zenji grabbed his shoulders and roughly shook him. "Fong was _not_ right! Fong kidnapped a _child_ and then _tortured_ that child for absolutely no good reason once that child's _bastard father_ left him for dead! And then he fucking _brainwashed_ that child into believing that he deserves everything that's been done to him! _He's_ the monster here, not you!"

But Zuko just kept shaking his head. "N-no… you have to lock me up… you have to keep me away…!" He looked at Zenji pleadingly, his eyes welling with tears. "I-I don't want to be in the dark… I d-don't want to be alone with the demons and the cold... B-but I-I have to. I'm a m-monster that needs to be controlled… You have to lock me away!"

Zenji wrapped her arms around Zuko, holding him as tightly as she could. "_No one_ is locking you away. You are _not_ a monster." _You're just a terrified child who never really escaped Fong's ship._ Zenji hated herself for only having this realization now. Zuko had seemed to be getting better. It seemed like he was slowly learning to leave the past behind him. But in reality, he had just buried it deep inside and didn't address it until it became too much for him to handle.

She and Anil should have seen this coming. They should have done more to make sure Zuko wasn't just bottling everything up. But they didn't. They had just assumed that he was alright, that he was dealing with everything in a healthy way. And now they were dealing with the consequences.

"Please…" Zuko said desperately. "I d-don't want to hurt anyone…"

"Shh… You're not going to hurt anyone…"

There was a long pause. "I burnt Aang."

Zenji squeezed him. "It was an accident. You haven't done anything wrong."

Zuko shook his head again, but before Zenji could respond, he fell limp in her arms. He had fallen unconscious.

Zenji fell to her knees from the sudden dead weight, but didn't let go of him. She knew she had to get him back to the enclave. She knew she needed to get him to healers.

But for that moment, all she could do was hold him and softly cry for the boy she thought of as her son.

* * *

Anil stood in Gyatso's office, hands behind his back, his lungs starting to hurt from the pure anxiety.

Not only did they not know where Zuko was or what had happened, but Anil had just told Gyatso _everything_. The man seemed reasonable enough, but they hadn't known each other long. The old man still might have deep-set prejudices that would result in the four of them back on their own in the chaos of the outside world.

Which would be fine. They had lived five years like that. One week in the enclave wouldn't have softened them _that_ much. But Anil was surprised to find that the prospect made him a little sad. It had been... _nice_ to be around friendly faces again. Friendly faces that didn't go sour when they saw Zenji or Zuko. And Anil had honestly never seen Aang so content than when he was surrounded by the Air Nomad culture.

However, whatever Gyatso decided, they would make do.

The monk in question was deep in thought, considering everything Anil had just told him. After several minutes of agonizing silence, Gyatso spoke. "It's no secret that true evil exists in the world. I've known this since I was a young man... since the day I watched the Fire Nation soldiers slaughter a room full of children just because they were airbenders." Gyatso made eye contact with Anil. "In a way… I suppose those children were lucky. Luckier than your young Zuko, it would seem, who was dehumanized for the exact same reason."

Hope surged in Anil. "He hasn't firebent in years," he said. "I don't think he's even purposefully firebent since before he was kidnapped. I'm certain he's afraid that he'll be forced back to his old life if he does. This incident… with our room… Spirits, he's probably terrified right now…"

Gyatso nodded. "Bending is part of who a person is. Its power comes directly from our flow of chi, which is affected by our mental well being. They are all inexorably linked. By disallowing himself to bend for so long, his mind created a levee to protect itself. And now, after all these years, that levee has broken under all the pressure of the built up trauma and negative energy." Gyatso crossed his arms, looking at the space in front of him in consideration. "These are very unique circumstances. I can only imagine the turmoil that boy is facing now."

Anil could hardly believe his ears. "So… you'll allow us to stay? Even though Zuko's a firebender?"

"Of course," Gyatso said with a sad smile. "There's no reason to turn away people in need."

While Anil didn't want Gyatso to change his mind, he had to be sure the man was genuine. "Even though he's the son of Firelord Ozai? Even though he's the direct descendant of the man responsible for decimating our people?"

Gyatso waved his hand in dismissal. "We are not defined by our parents or their actions. We are only responsible for our own."

Anil let out a huge sigh of relief, his body visible relaxing. "You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say those words."

Gyatso nodded. "I'm glad. However… I do have a condition."

Anil frowned slightly. "Yes?"

"The four of you are allowed to stay... so long as Zuko makes an honest effort to learn to _control_ his abilities."

On the surface, this didn't seem unreasonable. It was for everyone's best interest, including Zuko's, that he learn to firebend properly. However, after all the fights Anil has had with Zuko in the past about his bending, he knew that this wasn't just a simple task of teaching him katas. In Zuko's mind, his nationality and his bending was the justification for all of his suffering. To him, he was a firebender and therefore Fire Nation... and therefore everyone else had a right to treat him like a worthless animal.

Zuko wouldn't be able to control his bending until he was able to confront and cope with his past and his psychosis.

And from the look on Gyatso's face, that was exactly his intention.

Anil nodded. "As soon as I'm sure that Zuko is back and safe, I will talk to him about his bending." He bowed deeply. "Thank you, Gyatso."

Gyatso shook his head. "Don't thank me just yet. I fear I have just put you and your family upon a harrowing and arduous path. Hopefully... you will all come out much stronger in the end."

* * *

**Okay... so not a bad note to end the chapter on, right?**

**So what do you think? Review and let me know!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey all!  
**

**So I was overwhelmed with reviews after posting my last chapter (mostly from a new reader, jsaba. Thanks for all the support!). I'm so glad you're all enjoying it, even if I'm kind of putting Zuko through absolute hell. **

**Don't worry, I won't torture him forever.**

**Enjoy Chapter 11!**

* * *

Aang sat in the infirmary at Zuko's bedside. It had been three days since the banquet. When Zenji came back, carrying an unconscious Zuko over her shoulders, Aang had feared the worst. However, after Piao looked over him, he assured the others that besides the awful, self-inflicted burn on his hand, Zuko was only suffering from exhaustion. And dehydration. And mild malnutrition. Given his mental state, Piao decided to keep Zuko in a medical coma for a little while to help him recover physically without trying to deal with the severe mental stress.

This morning, Piao had taken Zuko off the medications, saying that he would probably wake up within the next few hours. Aang opted to stay by Zuko's bedside so that he wouldn't be alone when he regained consciousness. Piao had left the infirmary in the meantime, instructing Aang to call him when Zuko woke up.

Aang sat on the stool, eyes tracing the outline of Zuko's body. Before all of this… madness started, Zuko had been skinny, but muscular due to their style of living and Zuko's regularly workouts. But when they changed unconscious Zuko out of his singed and dirty clothes, Aang saw that he had lost a significant amount of his muscle. He wasn't skin and bones or anything immediately worrying. But he was definitely thinner than before.

At the moment, Zuko seemed peaceful. Aang knew that would all change once he regained consciousness. In a way, it made him wish Zuko could stay like this. Of course, that was a ridiculous notion. What kind of life would that be? To be unconscious all the time, completely absent from the world. One would might as well be dead.

Aang was gripping Zuko's arm compulsively, careful of his bandaged hand. Piao said that the burn wasn't too bad. It would take a couple weeks or so to heal, and it would scar, but Zuko's movement and sensation of touch shouldn't be impaired. This was good news. With their fears about Zuko's physical health assuaged, they could worry about his mental health.

Which was much, much worse.

When Zenji had handed him over to the healers, she wouldn't speak to anyone. She had just sat on a chair with her face buried in her hands. After incessant prodding from both Anil and Aang, she eventually told them what happened. She told them the state she found Zuko and the things he had said.

It was almost as if all the progress he had made in the last five years had suddenly been undone. In fact, it was almost as if Zuko was even _worse_ than before. Aang didn't know how that could be possible, but it seemed to be the case.

That was when Anil told them about his conversation with Gyatso and the deal they had made.

Zenji had narrowed her eyes at Anil after he was done. "How long have you suspected that his refusal to bend would cause problems?"

"I mean, I always suspected that it wasn't _healthy_ for him. That's why I tried to convince him to bend anyway, even if just a little bit. I just had no idea that it would be this... _bad_."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Zenji growled. "We could have worked together to convince Zuko. Why would you _hide_ something like that?!"

Anil had been taken aback by Zenji's anger. "I wasn't _hiding_ it from you. It was just a theory I had. I never saw a reason to bring it up with anyone but Zuko. It's _his_ bending, after all."

"We don't keep secrets in this family!" Zenji shouted. "Especially when it has to do with someone's welfare! I would have told _you_ if I thought Aang was doing something self-destructive!"

"You think I had _any_ idea this would happen!?" Anil shouted back. "It's not like I just stood there, knowing Zuko was going to have a complete mental breakdown and decided to hide it from you!"

"Then why would you keep your _theory_ about Zuko's bending a secret?!"

"It wasn't a secret! Stop trying to place the blame for all of this on me!"

"I'm not! I'm placing the blame on both of us! We were supposed to take care of him, to make sure he was happy and safe, and we failed _spectacularly_!"

Zenji had stormed off, saying she needed some time to herself. Aang, disturbed by the argument, had looked up at his father and noticed that he was shaking. Then Anil had followed Zenji out of the infirmary, leaving his son behind to look after Zuko.

They had both checked in regularly in the last couple of days, but neither of them stayed for long. Aang supposed it was difficult for them to see Zuko and think that _their_ failings were the reason he was in this state.

Aang, on the other hand, felt obligated to stay by Zuko's side as much as possible. He felt he _couldn't_ leave Zuko alone. Even if he was unconscious and not even aware of Aang's presence, Aang still felt it was wrong to leave Zuko alone in this stark and empty room.

He kept his hand on Zuko's arm and gently stroked it, as if it might help calm the furious storm that was taking place in Zuko's mind. His forearms were not nearly as scarred as other parts of his body, but they were still there. When Aang's fingers hit a bump or divot, he unconsciously traced the line of the scar up and down Zuko's arm.

"You can't hurt yourself anymore," Aang suddenly said. He was speaking to Zuko, of course. He didn't even care if Zuko couldn't hear him. This needed to be said. "You've already been hurt so badly… why would you want to add to that pain?"

His finger followed another scar up Zuko's arm. "Zenji said that you burned your hand because you're a firebender. That you're afraid of hurting us with your firebending... I'm not quite sure why you're suddenly thinking like this, after all these years. Though Dad says it has something to do with your built up chi or something…"

Aang leaned over and rested his head on Zuko's stomach, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing. "I don't know what to do anymore," he said. "I wish you would talk to me. At least, talk to me about your problems. You've always encouraged _me_ to talk when I'm feeling down, whether it's about my dad, my bending, or anything else… why can't the same apply to you?"

Aang could feel tears starting to form, so he sat up to wipe them away. "You're my best friend. Realistically, you're the only friend I've ever had, but even still... You always listened to me, played games with me. Later, when I wasn't so much of a child, we trained together and you always encouraged me to experiment with different forms. And you never got mad or annoyed with me unless I deserved it."

Aang laid his head back down, his hand still on Zuko's wrist, his other resting on Zuko's leg. He was still crying, but for now, he just wanted to feel the firebender's warmth and feel his breath. Feel that he was _alive_.

"I love you," he said softly. "I just wish you could love yourself."

* * *

Zuko felt like he was being dragged through a river of mud. His body felt leaden, and he was finding it difficult to move. His body almost felt numb.

As he crawled closer to consciousness, he became aware of a heavy weight on his stomach and something warm wrapped around his left arm. He tried to move so he could shove the oppressive object off of him, but his limbs didn't seem to want to listen to him.

When he finally opened his eyes, his vision was blurry at first. He was hardly able to make out more than the gray-brown of the stone and rock around him. After blinking a few times, his eyes began to focus, and he looked down to see what was laying on him.

It was Aang, and he appeared to be asleep. His head was turned so he was facing Zuko, his brown hair flopped messily over his closed eyes. His face was half pressed against Zuko's stomach, his scar hidden from view.

Zuko looked down further and saw that Aang was holding onto his forearm. His hand was hidden under the airbender's hunched body, but he could feel the bandages wrapped around it. He was mildly surprised to find that there was no pain. Though, considering how foggy his head felt, he was pretty sure they had him on some sort of pain medication.

_Right_… Zuko thought to himself. _I tried to burn my hands. I can't bend if my hands are ruined, right?_ He closed his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. Of course, that had been a stupid idea on his part, not only because that wasn't strictly _true_, but because he only would have made himself more of a burden if he had succeeded. _I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I only managed to burn one of them._

"You're pathetic."

Zuko languidly turned his head to his right, unsurprised by Fong's sudden presence.

"Even when you _do_ firebend, you can't do it right."

Zuko slowly pulled his arm out from under Aang, taking care not to wake him. Thankfully, the airbender's listless fingers eased the extraction. Once he was free, he looked at the bandaging. He could feel that each individual finger was wrapped, but his entire hand was also wrapped into a single form, probably to restrict his movement. He honestly couldn't remember how badly he had hurt his hand. He remembered the pain, but he couldn't remember what his hand had looked like after the deed.

"Do you remember when we caught you touching yourself?" Fong asked fondly. "We broke all your finger for the disgusting act." He sighed in memory. "You begged and screamed… it was so satisfying. I don't know which was better: breaking your fingers, or having to break them back."

Zuko's fingers twitched in memory, but he made no other response. He placed his hand back down at looked at Aang. His skin dark from travel, his defined features, his soft hair… Zuko reached up with his good hand, brushing Aang's wayward bangs away from his face.

"Tell me… do you touch yourself while thinking of _him_?"

Zuko flinched his hand back. He curled it into a fist and held it to his chest, staring at the ceiling. _I hate myself, I hate myself…_

Fong laughed. "You're a naive fool if you think he's going to have any affection for _you_. After what you did... because of what you are..."

Fong was right. Not that Zuko wanted to admit it. Not even to himself. But he was a firebender. He was Fire Nation. There was no denying either fact.

Before, Zuko had always held some amount of hope that Aang might return his affections. Not because he genuinely liked Zuko, but because there was simply no one else around. After five years of being alone and on the run, it didn't seem to be that far-fetched of an idea. He always hated himself for even thinking in such a way. It was the height of selfishness. What a terrible reason to be with someone: just because there was no other option. But he still couldn't help but have a small modicum of hope.

Now they were once again among other people. Other _airbenders_. Airbenders whom Aang seemed to enjoy hanging out with. None of them had been born of a family or nation of war mongers. None of them were scarred and ugly like he was. They were even his own kind. Compared to them, why would anyone want _him_?

"You're awake."

Aang had lifted his head slightly off of Zuko's stomach, blinking blearily at the firebender. Zuko heart stopped, the desire to just… _kiss_ the airbender suddenly overwhelming. Of course, he didn't deserve the small amount of happiness the action would bring him. And he would _completely_ deserve the rejection that would follow. Quickly looking away, Zuko muttered, "Sorry I woke you."

"You didn't wake me." Aang sat up and looked at Zuko's hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Don't lie to me. You're anything _but_ fine."

Zuko glanced at Aang, noting the slight edge of annoyance in his expression. He looked away again. _You're really not capable of doing anything right._ "I'm tired," he eventually responded.

"How's your hand?"

"It's fin-… it doesn't hurt."

Aang gave a small nod. "That's good. Piao says your hand should make a full recovery, but it'll take a few weeks."

Fong let out a bark of laughter. "You couldn't even _burn_ yourself right! _Spirits_, you're useless!"

Zuko flexed his hand, sharp stabs of pain shooting up his arm. He was trying to ignore Fong, not wanting Aang to know what he was seeing. Or to give credence to what Zuko hoped was a hallucination. However, he couldn't help but internalize everything the Earth Kingdom captain was saying.

_You're a failure_, his father's voice echoed in his head.

When Zuko didn't respond to Aang statement about his hand, Aang let out a small sigh. "I'm going to get Piao. He wanted to check up on you once you woke up." Aang stood up and made to leave. "Also, Dad wants to talk to you about something."

Aang left and didn't notice Zuko's body stiffening or his face paling.

_Stay away from me and my family._

Shivering, Zuko wrapped his good arm around his middle, missing Aang's proximity. He knew that Anil must be furious with him. He had every right to forbid Zuko from coming anywhere near his family _or_ the enclave. In all honestly, it would probably be better for _everyone_ if Zuko was forced to leave. He was too dangerous to be kept around. He couldn't control his firebending. He couldn't control _any_ of his fighting. He already destroyed a dummy with his blades and their room with his bending. It was only a matter of time before he accidentally hurt someone.

Really, he should just kill himself. He had been contemplating it for years, and it was finally coming to a point where it was no longer just his personal desire. Now it was a matter of everyone's safety.

With a self-deprecating groan, he closed his eyes and laid his arm over them. And once again, they were back to the fact that he was a fucking coward who couldn't even finish the job on his own _hand_. He would probably just fuck up his own suicide as well. Knowing his luck, he would probably end up hurting someone _else_ in the process.

He really did hate himself.

That's when Piao came in. "Aang will be back in a moment. He's just retrieving his father and Zenji."

Zuko slowly lowered his arm to look at the healer. He merely grunted in response.

Piao put on a pair of spectacles, then sat where Aang had been previously. "Are you dizzy?"

Zuko frowned slightly. "No."

"Any headache?"

"No."

Piao pointed to Zuko's wrist. "May I?"

Zuko's frowned deepened before he gave a small nod.

Piao gently grasped Zuko's arm, placing two fingers on his inner wrist. After a moment, he gave a single nod. "Everything seems good." He turned to Zuko. "In the future, make sure you're drinking enough water. Also, try and eat three meals a day. We've been intravenously hydrating you and giving nutrients. However, nothing is as good as actually drinking water or eating solid meals."

Zuko simply nodded, having no other response.

Aang returned with Anil and Zenji soon after. Upon seeing him, Anil froze. Zuko was conscious. And when Zuko saw him, he began to tremble slightly. He was cautiously observing Anil as though he expected the man to start reprimanding him.

Or beating him.

Anil's heart clenched. All he wanted to do was to run up to Zuko and hold him tightly, reassure him that everything was going to be alright. However, considering both his physical and mental health, Anil opted for a small encouraging smile. "I'm glad to see you're awake," he said.

Zuko just shrugged and looked away.

"He seems to be mostly recovered from his fatigue and dehydration," Piao said. "I've instructed him to eat and drink regularly. I'll need to change the bandage on his hand daily for the next couple of weeks, but otherwise, Zuko is fit to leave."

Anil nodded numbly. "Thank you, Piao."

With a sad smile, Piao bowed and exited the infirmary, giving the family some much needed time and space alone.

Anil walked up to Zuko's bedside. Zenji and Aang stayed back, probably realizing that all of them standing there might overwhelm him. When Anil placed a hand on Zuko's shoulder, he flinched slightly. "Listen, we need to talk about something." When Zuko's eyes widened, Anil clarified. "You're not in any trouble. But there is something we need to address."

Zuko took a deep breath before looking up to meet Anil's gaze, his eyes filled with trepidation. "I firebent," he said quietly.

Anil nodded. "Which isn't bad," he said. "There's nothing wrong with the act of firebending itself."

"I… burnt all of your things," Zuko replied sullenly.

Anil noted that Zuko said '_your_ things' as opposed to '_our_ things'. "It's okay. I know it was an accident. Besides, that doesn't mean firebending is wrong. Acts committed with bending don't determine the worth of the bending."

Zuko's eyes flickered to Aang before coming back to meet Anil's. He crossed his arms, tucking his good hand underneath his arm. "I p-promise it w-w-won't happen again."

Anil sighed. "Well, that's just the thing Zuko. You can't keep yourself from bending."

His breathing quickening, Zuko started to shake his head. "I-I can! I'll try harder!"

"Zuko," Anil sat down on the edge of the bed, placing both hands on Zuko's shoulders. "I'm not questioning your ability. Do you remember what we talked about a week ago? About how your refusal to bend could affect you?"

Zuko's started to shake harder. He just stared at Anil, panicked and scared. Feeling evermore wretched, Anil rubbed his hands up and down Zuko's arms, trying to get him to calm down. "Shh… it's okay." Even just a week ago, Zuko had been relatively fine. He had been emotionally shaky, but still contained his underlying, fiery determination. How could he have deteriorated so fast?

How could he have deteriorated so fast _without Anil noticing_?

"I… I remember," Zuko eventually said. Then, a moment later, he asked apprehensively, "Am… am I going mad?"

Anil thought back to Zenji's recount of the state she found Zuko in. He didn't want to make Zuko panic, but he also didn't want to hide the severity of the situation. "Gyatso and I believe that your refusal to bend has created a… a backup of energy, so to speak. That, mixed with…"

_...your past._

Anil bit his lip. He didn't want to put too much pressure on the young man, especially given his current state. However, if Zuko kept avoiding his problems, Anil feared he would become so lost he'd never find his way back. And if that happened… Anil wouldn't know what he would do. It was killing him to have to watch Zuko suffer and try to face his demons on his own. If he ended up losing that battle...

"Yes," Anil finally said, his voice strained. "You're going mad."

Zuko didn't react to the statement immediately. He simply blinked sluggishly, still trembling under Anil's hands. Then, he slowly lowered his head and buried his face into his hands. When his trembling increased and his breathing became erratic, Anil realized he was crying. Tenderly placing a hand on his head, Anil said, "I know it's scary, but we're - "

"_Thank goodness._"

Startled, Anil leaned forward a little, certain he had misheard him. "Zuko?"

Zuko lowered his hands and looked up. Tears were running down his face, but he was smiling. Not the mad or demented smile that Zenji had described earlier. This was a smile of sheer relief.

He let out a small nervous laugh. "It's not real..." he said. "E-Everything that I've been seeing… It's not _real_."

Anil's eyes widened. _Zuko has been... **hallucinating**?_

And that's when he realized: burning all of their things hadn't just been Zuko losing control. He had probably been trying to defend himself against something only _he_ could see. Considering his past refusal to bend in even the most dire of situations… Anil couldn't imagine what kind of nightmarish horrors Zuko had been living through to push him to that point.

Anil grabbed both sides of Zuko's face, making sure that Zuko was hearing what he was about to say. "_I'm_ real. _Aang_ is real. _Zenji_ is real. Do you hear me? We're real, we're here, and we're staying."

Zuko's eyes narrowed as his weeping only increased. Eventually, he nodded his head. Then, without prompt, he wrapped his arms around Anil's neck.

Anil stiffened in surprise. Never before had Zuko initiated a hug. He had always been too scared or too prideful to do so. Anil wrapped his arms Zuko's body and held him as tightly as he could as the boy began to sob into his shoulder. "It's going to be okay," he said softly. "We'll figure this out."

There was movement in Anil's periphery, and when he looked up, he saw Zenji standing next to them. Her eyes were filled with tears, mirroring his own face. She placed a hand on Zuko's shoulder, and when the firebender tentatively looked up, she said with her voice thick with emotion, "Anil's not just blowing hot air. We're all here for you."

Aang stood behind Zenji. He had his arms crossed across his chest, watching Zuko with concern. But when Zuko's gaze shifted from Zenji to him, he smiled and give him a small nod.

It wouldn't be easy. The effects of years of trauma and denial couldn't be erased by a simple group hug and few words of encouragement.

But every road has its first step.

And for now, that was enough.

* * *

**No cliffhanger this time :D**

**Review and let me know what you guys think!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey all!  
**

**This chapter is kinda long, but I imagine you guys won't mind. :)**

**Enjoy Chapter 12!**

* * *

Zuko had been moved to the new room his family was staying in. Once they got Zuko settled into his new bed, Anil fully explained his conversation with Gyatso. He had told the old man everything, including who Zuko was and why they had left their enclave. Anil had said that while no one was angry with Zuko and they were all still welcome in the enclave, Gyatso had said that Zuko must learn to control his bending.

Zuko couldn't believe it. On many levels.

First off, _no one_ was angry with him? How could that be even remotely possible? He could understand his family forgiving him. Kind of. Well, he didn't really understand, but he could sort of accept the fact that they did. At least, he was pretty sure they did. They certainly didn't _seem_ mad at him.

But the _rest_ of the enclave? They were all living peacefully, isolated from the horrors of the war. Then they take a few people in, and a week later, one of them randomly sets one of their rooms aflame, destroying the beds and furniture they have offered to their guests. Then they were told that he had once been the crowned prince of the Fire Nation.

And they were just… _okay_ with that?

Maybe they weren't, and Anil was just sugarcoating it. After all, their leader, Gyatso _did_ require Zuko to learn to control his bending.

And it was this that was keeping Zuko awake.

Anil had said that they should all get some rest since they would start training tomorrow. However, Zuko was finding it nearly impossible to fall asleep. He was staring at the ceiling, his eyes tracing out the patterns in the rock. He tried to make images from the waving lines stone, count as many layers as he could, count how many layers of a certain color there were… anything to keep his mind off of the the task that was before him.

Whatever concoction Piao had given him, it was starting to wear off. His hand ached with a familiar burn, every small movement causing sharp tendrils of pain to shoot up his arm. It wasn't the worst pain he had ever experienced in his life. Not by a long shot. But it was still enough to make sleeping nearly impossible.

Realizing this with a small sigh, Zuko slowly sat up. He needed to do… _something_. He needed to get his mind off of what awaited him tomorrow.

The halls of the enclave were empty, which was to be expected since it was the middle of the night. However, he didn't just wander aimlessly. He wasn't consciously aiming for a certain destination, but it wasn't even fifteen minutes before he found himself at the training grounds. As empty as the halls, the room was completely unlit save for the light that poured in from the entrance, but it was enough for Zuko to walk around unimpeded. A part of him wanted to go to the dummy he had been practicing on the other day, see if his swords were still there. If they were, that probably meant no one had seen what he had done. But if they weren't that meant that someone _knew_.

Someone knew that that it wasn't just his firebending that was out of control.

Deciding to save what was left of his sanity and leave it a mystery, Zuko walked to the center of the room and looked around dejectedly. This was where they expected him to firebend. On purpose. They wanted him to learn to control it, Anil had said.

Zuko wasn't going to lie: the idea of trying to _learn_ to control his bending never really occurred to him. Before he had been kidnapped, he had been a poor excuse for a firebender. He was ashamed to admit that he had set his own bed on fire more than once. It was the main reason his father thought him so useless. So when Fong and the others literally beat the notion into him, they were really just confirming what Zuko already knew: he was a worthless bender with no control.

So he didn't even try. He had planned on keeping his bending permanently repressed for the rest of his life. It seemed like the perfect plan. No one would know what he really was and he wouldn't hurt anyone.

Where had it all gone so wrong?

"You should be resting."

Zuko nearly jumped out of his skin, spinning around to see the source of the voice. He only marginally calmed when he sat Zenji standing at the entrance. "Wh-what're you doing here?"

Zenji looked around the training grounds, but didn't step inside. "I could ask you the same."

He knew that Zenji was staying at the entrance because she couldn't see in the dark as well as he could. A part of him wanted to remain hidden in the shadows, but that seemed silly since Zenji already knew he was there. With a small sigh, he slowly walked back into the light. "I couldn't sleep," he said quietly.

Zenji watched Zuko as he approached. His shoulders were hunched, his good arm wrapped around his middle. He was paler than usual, with dark circles under his eyes. He avoided eye contact with Zenji, keeping his gaze focused on the ground.

Zenji hated seeing him so submissive. It reminded her too much of the first few months. Even when they left the enclave, the other airbenders' treatment had dismantled what little progress they had made. It had taken them weeks to convince him to stop apologizing for everything. He barely came out of his self-imposed shell, blinding following every word Anil and Zenji told him. But even if progress had been slow, Zuko did eventually come out of his shell. He started to resemble the stubborn, short-tempered, tenacious teenager he would have been had he been given a normal life.

He had crawled his way out before. He would be able to do it again. For now, Zenji was just grateful that he was no longer as out of it and… _demented_ as he had been when she found him a couple days ago. "You're nervous about bending," she stated.

Zuko leaned against the wall of the entrance, still avoiding eye contact with her. He looked back into the training room. "I…" He stopped, biting his lower lip. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I _can't_ bend."

Zenji hoped to take this as an opportunity to get Zuko to express himself more articulately. "What do you mean '_can't_'?"

Zuko shook his head. "I just… can't. Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit."

Zenji saw tears forming in his eyes before he quickly blinked them away. _Please don't keep things held in._ "What about your hand?" she pointed out.

Zuko looked at his bandaged appendage. It still hurt, but he was slowly growing accustomed to the pain. Just like he always did. "This is different."

"How?"

He gripped his wrist beneath the bandage, squeezing it tightly. He could feel himself starting to shake. "Because I deserved this."

"No!" Zenji spat, unable to keep the edge of anger out of her voice. Zuko finally looked up at her, his eyes wide in surprise. "The very _last_ thing you deserve is even more pain and suffering!" She stepped towards him, pointing at Zuko's chest with an aggressive jab. "You have been handed the absolute worst life possible on this earth. You're only _eighteen_, and you've been through more _shit_ than most people in this world _combined_! You were cursed with a horrible father, kidnapped by sick, twisted bastards who tortured you for no good reason, and then tormented by that stupid enclave! How you can go through all of _that_ and only manage to hate yourself is a fucking miracle!"

She had given him this little rant when she found him, but considering how out of it he had been, he clearly needed another reminder. She gently, but firmly, grabbed Zuko's shoulders. "I don't know how to make it any more clear to you. I don't know how to pound this into that thick skull of yours… _none of this is your fault_. You haven't done anything wrong. You haven't deserved _any_ of this cruelty other people have inflicted on you."

Zuko's eyes were still wide, but now they were filled with tears again. Shaking his head, he quickly rubbed his eyes, trying to make them go away. However, after several failed attempts, he realized he was once again crying uncontrollably. He took a deep breath. "I'm r-really tired of c-crying…" he growled through his tears.

Zenji gave a small laugh and wrapped her arms around him. "I mean every word, Zuko. I always have."

Zuko trembled, trying to breathe evenly. "I-I know…" he said, voice strained. He sounded defeated, but Zenji hoped that meant he was finally giving in and starting to believe her.

"We'll take it slowly," she said. "We don't expect you to be a firebending master in one day."

He scoffed. "I wouldn't be a firebending master even if I tried for the rest of my life."

"Regardless…" She released him from her embrace and held him at arm's length. "Gyatso specifically said that all you have to do is give an honest effort. Just do the best you can. We won't force you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

Zuko stared back at the ground, his trembling back down to fine tremors. With a deep sigh, he wiped away the remains of his tears and nodded. "Okay." He looked back up at Zenji with a shaky smile. "I'll try."

* * *

He said he'd try. But that didn't change the fact that he was terrified.

They all got up relatively early the next morning, since Zuko had to get checked up by Piao before doing anything else. Zuko was exhausted from the lack of sleep, even though Zenji seemed just fine, despite having had about the same amount of sleep as he had.

"Well, you _are_ weaker, so what would you expect?" Fong said.

Zuko glanced around and found that he couldn't actually _see_ Fong. It was just a voice in his head. Well, that could only be good... right?

After Piao gave him more pain-reducing herbs, Gyatso met with all of them soon after they finished breakfast. He said there was a smaller place where they could train, and that he would lead them to it. "I imagine you'd rather not have an audience," he said to Zuko.

_I'd rather not do this at all._ But he just forced a smile in thanks.

As they followed the elderly man, Aang changed his pace so he was walking next to Zuko, who was lagging behind. Aang was feeling apprehensive, both about how Zuko was going to weather the day, and about how _he_ was going to handle Zuko's potential problems. Nothing made Aang more upset or sick-feeling than seeing Zuko suffer. He hoped he would be able to at least marginally ease Zuko's anxieties. "How are you feeling?" Aang asked quietly, not wanting to attract the adults' attention.

Zuko sighed. "I…"

"Don't say _fine_," Aang interrupted. "Please, just be honest with me."

Zuko glanced at him. "I wasn't going to," he said with a small smirk.

"Oh." Aang blushed slightly. "So… then how are you feeling?"

Zuko's smirk faded. He looked back forward, wrapping an arm around his stomach. "I feel like I'm going to puke."

"You're nervous," Aang said.

"To put it lightly…"

"Well… try not to worry." Aang grabbed his arm as they walked. "I'm here if anything goes wrong. Not to mention Dad and Zenji. And if you see anything that's not supposed to be there, I'm sure Zenji will be more than happy to take a swing at it."

Zuko was initially a little mortified at the reference to his hallucinations. He had almost forgotten that he had let that slip the day before. But then he processed the rest of Aang's statement, and he couldn't help but smile at the image of Zenji angrily swinging at the air.

It also didn't hurt that Aang's body was inches from his own.

"Ugh, be careful not to get too close. You don't want it touching you."

"But we need to wash him…"

"Just keelhaul it. That should be sufficient."

Zuko flinched, suddenly feeling as though his skin was covered in a layer of grime and clotted blood. He was struck with a strong urge to dislodge Aang, to keep the airbender away from touching his filth.

"Why would he ever want _you_?" Fong repeated. "You're just a disgusting monster."

"Hey." Aang was giving Zuko a worried look. The firebender's eyes were glassy, and he had started trembling for seemingly no reason. He started rubbing Zuko's arm. "Maybe we should try this some other time. I can talk to Dad and - "

"No." Zuko said firmly. "Waiting will only make it worse." He knew that if he waited, he would only fall deeper into this pit of insanity. "I don't… I don't want to hurt anybody. Control… I n-need to learn control…"

Their destination was, indeed, much smaller than the main training area. In fact, it was all a single rectangular area. There was hardly any equipment besides a few dummies over to the side. Gyatso explained that this area was mostly used when airbenders sparred each other for fun. He had instructed the enclave not to use it for the time being while Zuko was practicing his firebending.

Zuko couldn't help but curl into himself more. _All you're doing is taking up space that could be used by other, much more **worthy** people._

Anil turned to Zuko. "Are you ready to begin?"

Zuko closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His body was trembling incessantly, refusing to cease no matter how many times he tried to command his body to stop.

He felt a squeeze on his arm. Opening his eyes, he looked over at Aang, who was smiling. "You can do this," he whispered.

Looking into the deep grey eyes, Zuko felt his body starting to calm. The constriction around his chest let up a little, and he didn't feel quite a nauseous. He gave a small smile in return.

_You'll never deserve him._

Ignoring the voices in his head, he turned back to Anil and gave a small nod. "I'm ready."

They started out by running through some airbending katas. Zuko couldn't airbend, of course, but he was able to move through them with proficiency almost equal to Aang's. These wasn't new for him. He had started mimicking their morning routine about a year after they left the enclave. Since then, both Zenji and Anil worked with both him _and_ Aang on their footwork, stances, and breathing. While it was a bending style for Aang, it was just another martial art for Zuko.

All the while, Gyatso sat on the sidelines, observing them. It was rather unnerving for all of them, but they all tried their best to ignore his presence.

"Alright, Zuko…" Anil said after their warm-up. "Now for firebending."

If his hands had been in better condition, he would be wringing them together. As it were, he was tightly gripping his wrist below the bandage. "There aren't any firebenders here…" he pointed out meekly. "How is this going to work?"

"We'll just take it slowly," Anil said. "The goal is control, not mastery."

Zuko swallowed the lump in his throat. "R-Right…"

Anil was watching Zuko carefully, uneasy about how all of this was going down. _I don't want to do this. I don't want to force him to do something he's clearly not comfortable doing._

However, it was this attitude that had gotten them into this whole mess in the first place. If Anil had put his foot down earlier, Zuko would be much better off by now. It might have been painful in the short run, but not as painful or traumatizing as _this_ has been.

A person can't make any progress if they're not willing to go out of their comfort zone.

"Let's start off simple," Anil said. "Just summon a flame in your palm."

It _seemed_ like a simple enough start. However, Zuko was staring at him as though he had just asked him to metal bend. "You… y-you want m-me to fi… b-bend now?"

While it wouldn't be surprising if Zuko had been in a slight state of denial until now, Anil still found it a bit worrying. "Yes, Zuko. That's why we're here. So you can learn to control your bending. You can't do that if you don't actually bend."

Zuko's brave front was deteriorating fast. His eyes wide, he looked down at his trembling hands.

Zenji stepped up besides Anil. "I don't think he's ready to do this," she whispered to his ear.

"I don't think we have a choice," Anil whispered back.

Then, Zuko suddenly turned so he was facing away from everyone. He slowly raised his arm, his good hand palm up. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. With great reluctance, he tried to remember his childhood lessons. _Keep breathing. In for five, out for five… Feel your inner fire._

There was silence all around him. He was facing away from everyone and his eyes were closed, so he had no way to gauge their reactions. He tried not to think about it. He needed to focus. He needed to ignore his trembling limbs, ignore the pain in his chest and stomach, ignore the incessant whispers in his head…

_"I'm going to make sure you **never** firebend again."_

_Zuko tried to spit curses at the Earth Kingdom captain, but the gag in his mouth made it impossible. How dare these men treat him like this! He was a prince! Crowned prince of the Fire Nation._

_Even if his father had said he didn't want him… No, there was no way that letter was real. Fong forged it. There was no other explanation. Sure, his father had always been hard on him. Had always said how much better Azula was, how she was far more suited to be heir…_

_Zuko pulled against his chains uselessly. He was already exhausted, dizzy, and in pain. The soldiers had taken turns beating him yesterday. He passed out several times, but even then, they continued their beatings every time he regained consciousness._

_He needed to get out of here. He need to escape. Then, he could find his way home, and his father could explain everything to him. He would be able to find out the truth. In fact, his father was probably already mounting a rescue mission, refusing to give in to Fong's demands._

_"Hold him, boys."_

_With sadistic grins, the soldiers all grabbed Zuko and held him down. Several grabbed his head to keep it still. Zuko struggled against them, but he was too tired and too weak to be effective._

_**You have always been weak**, his father's voice echoed._

_Suddenly, Fong came into view, holding a small bottle and a torch. "You're a firebender," Fong stated. "And firebenders do nothing but destroy other people's lives."_

_Zuko scowled through his gag, giving the captain the fiercest glare he could manage for an eight-year-old._

_"And I think…" Fong continued, "... that you should have a taste of your own medicine. After all, it's only fair." He looked up at his men. "Right, boys?"_

_There was a cacophony of affirmative yells, and Fong's smile widened before looking back down at Zuko. He uncapped the bottle and poured its contents onto Zuko's face._

_Zuko closed his eyes instinctively as the liquid all poured down the left side of his face over his eye. A bitter metallic smell filled the air, making him gag. It smelled like some sort of oil._

_There was a brief moment of horror as he realized what was about to happen._

_Right before his face was set on fire._

_Zuko shriek through his gag as his face burned, the smell of burnt flesh flesh making him vomit. Someone must of realized, because his gag was taken out and the vomit spurted out before he choked._

_It **burned**. It felt as though half of his face had just been removed, leaving behind nothing but unadulterated **pain** in its wake. His whole body was shaking, his breath wheezy from the screaming. His right eye was wide, staring blankly at the space above him… at the smoke that was rising from him. He had lost nearly all awareness beyond the smoldering._

_Fong leaned over him, still smiling, though he curled his lip in disgust at the sight of Zuko's vomit. "If you **ever** firebend again… It'll be the rest of your face."_

"Zuko!" Aang cried, shaking his shoulders. "Zuko, can you hear me? It's me, Aang!"

Zuko was curled on the ground, his body shaking violently. His hand was clawing at his face, his other arm flung over his head. He was shaking his head, repeatedly whimpering, "_I can't, I can't, I can't…_"

Aang was kneeling beside him, an arm wrapped around his shoulders. He stared at Zuko's terrified expression, realizing that he was completely unaware of Aang's presence. "It's me…!" the airbender begged. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Zuko's. "Please come back… You're safe now, I promise..."

Anil was kneeling not too far away, feeling sick as he watched his son try and console the disturbed firebender. It reminded him all too much of the early days with Zuko, where even the smallest things would send Zuko back into his past, leaving behind a barely functioning child.

Maybe _that_ was why Anil was so reluctant to push Zuko to bend before. Because he would be damned before _he_ triggered this kind of reaction from him.

Zenji stood to the side, feeling useless as usual. She gripped her staff tightly, her rage towards Fong and his men rearing its ugly head once again. _We let them get away with this… They're all going to live the rest of their lives as normal people while Zuko will probably suffer for the rest of his life because of them!_

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Gyatso stand. His expression was neutral as he slowly turned and made to leave the room. "Where do you think you're going?" she snapped.

Gyatso turned back around. He glanced over at Zuko and said, "Perhaps he'll be... more successful next time."

"_More successful?_" she parroted in disbelief. "I'm _so_ sorry, were you expecting more?"

Anil turned to her sharply. "Zenji..." he warned.

She ignored him, continuing to yell at Gyatso. "How about you shut your damned mouth! Or, I don't know… maybe we can shut _you_ up in a small, dirty room for years to be beaten, whipped, burned, and _spirits_ only know what else...! Just for being an airbender! Let's see how well _you_ cope with that!" she nearly screamed.

Zuko's breathing hitched at the sound of Zenji's voice. When he turned to look at her, all he could process was the anger in her voice and the expression of rage and disgust. He couldn't hear the words, he couldn't process the fact that she was looking at another person.

He felt a warm body with a familiar scent near his own. He clutched the orange fabric tightly, burying his face against the warmth. _I'm useless, I can't do anything right, I hate myself, I hate myself…_

As he wrapped his arms around the firebender, Aang was momentarily surprised to find how easily Zuko could curl into his chest. _Didn't he used to be bigger than me?_ However, his more immediately concern was the fact that Zuko was clearly cowering from _Zenji_. "She's not mad at you," Aang whispered. They were sitting awkwardly, but Aang held him tightly as best he could. "None of us are mad at you…"

Gyatso didn't respond to Zenji. He just maintained his neutral expression before turning around and leaving without a word.

Zenji's blood boiled. _Who does he think he **is**? **He** was the one who made Zuko do this in the first place! He's just too much of a coward to see that this is the reality Zuko has to live in! He may be able to walk away, but Zuko can't! Zuko will **always** be burdened with his past._

Angry. Upset. Helpless. Zenji spun around and let out a yell of frustration as she swung her staff, the sharp sliver of air flying across the room and slicing a dummy cleaning in two.

"Zenji, stop it!"

Zenji froze. It had always been Anil who would try and reign her in. No one else had ever dared. In that way, it made him easier to block out.

She hadn't been anticipating _Aang's_ voice.

When she turned around, a sharp spike of guilt shot through her when she saw that Zuko was grasping Aang desperately, his eyes wide and filled with terror as he stared at _her_.

Rage was still running through her veins, and she trembled as she tried to reign it in. "I'm not angry at you," she said quickly. "I'm angry at everything _else_." When Zuko's fear didn't seem to abate, she shook her head, ashamed at herself. She needed to leave. She was only making things worse. "I'm sorry. I need to get some air."

Anil watched as Zenji practically ran out of the room. He wanted to go after her, but he couldn't leave Zuko and Aang to their own devices. He looked over at the boys, despondently watching Zuko tremble and cry in Aang's arms, the his son silently weeping with him. They were both lost in their own world of grief, terror, and solace.

With a mournful sigh, Anil buried his face in his hands. He had expected this. He knew that they probably wouldn't make any progress on the first day.

That didn't make him feel like any less of a failure.

* * *

**Yeah... PTSD ain't fun, folks.**

**Review and let me know what you guys think!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey all!  
**

**I think you'll guys will be pleased with this chapter :)**

**Enjoy Chapter 13!**

* * *

"Zenji, we need to talk."

Zenji was sitting in a corner of the general training area, sharpening the blade on her staff. She had seen Anil enter the room. It wasn't hard when he was the only male airbender with a full head of hair. She knew that he was looking for her and knew what he wanted.

When he only confirmed what she already knew, she didn't even look up from what she was doing. "I'm not in the mood for talking," she growled.

"Too bad," Anil said. "We're talking. I'd prefer we do this privately, but if you're insistent on being a stubborn ostrich horse about it, we can do it just fine here."

Pursing her lips, she wiped her blade with a cloth before wrapping her sharpening stone in said cloth with a deliberately slow pace. Anil was patient and didn't move or say a word. When she finished packing her supplies, she finally looked up at him with a slight glare. "Where's Zuko?"

"He's in our room, resting. Aang's with him."

Her gaze lowered slightly, her voice softening. "How is he?"

Anil sighed. "Exhausted. Jittery. Blaming no one but himself, as usual."

Zenji closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Anil…"

He placed a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. "Let's go somewhere private," he said.

With a small nod, Zenji stood, tied her supplies to the end of her staff, and followed Anil. She didn't really pay attention to where they were going, too distracted by her own shame. Which is why she was shocked to find that he had led them to what was left of their old room. "Anil?"

"They've already cleaned it out mostly," Anil said. "But Gyatso said the others have been avoiding it. It probably brought up some bad memories for the enclave. No one will bother us here."

The room may have been cleaned, but the stone walls were still scorched. Zenji went up to one of the walls, her hand tracing out the marks. "You wouldn't know that he's _terrified_ of bending," she said quietly.

Anil watched Zenji with a pained expression. "Zenji…"

"I know," she said. "I know I lost control. I know I've probably set Zuko back several steps before he even got to start. I was just… just _angry_."

"At Gyatso?"

"At _everything_!" She turned to face Anil. "I'm angry at Zuko's _father_ for treating him like a useless piece of garbage! I'm angry at _Fong_ and his _men_ for torturing him! I'm angry at _our_ _enclave_ for being ignorant! I'm angry at _you_ for not trying harder to make him bend! I'm angry at _myself_ for not realizing he needed help! I'm angry at _Gyatso_ for being so dismissive!"

"Gyatso didn't mean any harm," Anil said. "He was just being realistic."

"He didn't have to be so _cold_ about it..."

"You can't expect Gyatso to treat Zuko like we do," Anil tried to reason. "He doesn't know him. He hasn't raised him like we have. We have a greater emotional stake in this than he does." He shook his head. "This isn't the point. The point is that _you_ need to pull yourself together."

Zenji glared at him. "Don't you dare patronize me!"

"Put your pride aside and think about Zuko! You already admitted that you terrified him back there! Zuko's not the same cocky teenager he usually is. Whether we like it or not, he's worryingly unstable and we need to be more aware of how our actions are affecting him. Yes, we've both made mistakes in the past. If we could do it all over again, we'd both do it different. But that's not an option for us. We need to do everything we can _now_ so that we don't lose him for good."

Zenji wanted to argue, wanted to tell Anil to shut the fuck up and let her seethe in peace. But between the words and the look of desperation on his face, Zenji could only shiver and wrap her arms around herself. Her eyes filled with tears as she scowled. "Why does the world seem so bent on making him suffer so much?"

Anil shook his head. "Life is all about chance. Some people are lucky, others aren't. Zuko… just ended up on the far end of the spectrum."

Zenji stared at him for a moment before slowly shaking her head. She looked down at the ground, her voice barely above a murmur. "I used to think _I_ was at that far end of the spectrum. Virtually the whole enclave hated me. I could never do anything right. If I did, they would say it was my mother's blood shining through. My parents loved me, but… it was a lonely life." She glanced up at Anil. "You were the only other person who didn't treat me like an outcast. You and Sangmu…"

At the mention of his deceased wife, Anil's expression fell. She didn't know why, but it made Zenji's heart clench painfully. She ignored it and continued speaking. "Then Dad was killed on a mission… and Mom couldn't take it anymore… And then I was all alone. The enclave didn't try and help me. They never said anything, but I'm sure they thought my parents deserved it." She took a deep breath. "I've always had to struggle and fight to make a life for myself _despite_ the enclave. And that's made me strong." The tears were now flowing freely down her face. "I think about how much pain I've had in my life... And then I think about Zuko's life… and I can't even _fathom_ how he can keep himself going."

Anil walked up and wrapped his arms around her. Zenji willingly leaned against him, burying her face into his shoulder. "My life has been... _fantastic_ compared to Zuko's. Now I just feel ungrateful for not appreciating what I _did_ have."

Anil raised a hand and stroked her long black hair. Leaning his head down, he rested his cheek on the top of her head. "Just because other people have had harder lives doesn't invalidate your own suffering."

"I'm not suffering," she replied indignantly, her voice muffled in the fabric of Anil's clothes.

Anil smiled sadly. "Maybe not… but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to cry."

Zenji squeezed her eyes shut, her body started to shake in the man's arms. _Damnit, Anil…_ And before she knew it, she was sobbing, holding onto his clothes tightly. For just a brief period of time, she didn't think about the turmoil that surrounded her. She didn't think about Zuko's struggles, Gyatso's dismissal, or her own failures.

She just focused on the man holding her and let it all go.

* * *

Over the following couple of weeks, they tried all manner of meditations, exercises, and even medications to try and get Zuko past the block on his bending. However, all these methods proved completely ineffective.

And Zuko's mental health was making zero improvements.

It was nearly impossible for him to sleep. After the third day, Zuko had passed out during their warm-ups. Piao had prescribed something to help him relax. However, even when he did sleep, it wasn't restful. It was plagued with nightmares of his past and potential future. Zuko had hoped that since he _knew_ now these were all just nightmares and hallucinations, they would be easier to ignore.

But it turns out, that knowledge didn't make his... _episodes_... seem any less real.

He tried to push them down, to act like they weren't there. But it was difficult when you inexplicably felt like a helpless child all over again, when you can feel the pain as keenly as the day they were inflicted.

Of course, his inability to hide these incidents meant that his family was taking care of him constantly. Which, in turn, made him feel guilty and weak. Which only made him feel even more helpless when he _did_ have an episode.

It was turning into a vicious cycle, and Zuko was angry with himself. Why couldn't he learn to control himself? Why was he too weak to just shove these problems aside? Why did he have to be so fucking useless?

He wish he could just curl into a corner and whither away. But with his family all trying to help him, the last thing he wanted to do was be ungrateful and just give up. If he gave up, they wouldn't see any reason to stay with him anymore and they would just leave him behind. Zuko may hate himself, may be a bit suicidal, but the mere thought of his family finally leaving for good was still painful. Painful enough to keep him going. Painful enough to make him willing to do almost anything to keep them around.

Anil and Zenji kept encouraging him to keep trying, saying that even just the act of trying was something to be proud of.

Zuko felt anything but prideful.

Aang, on the other hand, wasn't as vocal with his support. In fact, while Anil and Zenji were being artificially optimistic, Aang was being refreshingly candid. It was a strange turn. Aang certainly wasn't being negative, but he didn't trying and tell Zuko that he was doing a great job either. Instead, he was more likely to simply ask how Zuko was feeling. When Anil or Zenji asked, Zuko usually played down how he was feeling or outright lie about it. However, Aang could see right through him and was always insistent for an honest answer. Zuko would give him a general answer that was honest, if not specific, and then the airbender would physically comfort him. In public, it would just be a squeeze of the arm or a head on his shoulder. In private, Aang usually held him.

Surprisingly, Zuko didn't find Aang's actions patronizing. In fact, Zuko was eternally grateful for physical comfort that he didn't have to initiate himself. It was during these times, in their room, when Zenji and Anil were either asleep or absent, that Zuko felt the safest. Counterintuitively, these times were also when his worst flashbacks hit him. When he would come back to the present, feeling wretched and scared, Aang would be there, gently stroking his hair and whispering softly. "It's not real. Not anymore. You're here with me. You're safe here. No one is going to hurt you…"

Of course, Zuko was also very likely to unwillingly develop an erection during these times.

When that happened, Zuko would usually excuse himself and run to a washroom. Shutting himself in, he would curl into a corner and sob bitterly, refusing to even acknowledge Aang when he would come running after him. He would sob and hit his head against the wall, hating himself for his utter lack of control. Hating himself for his attraction for the airbender. Hating that this same airbender was the only thing keeping Zuko alive and going.

He was such a selfish bastard.

When he calmed down, he would exit the washroom and always find Aang sitting right outside, waiting for him. Without asking, Aang would wrap his arms around him. There were never any fake reassurances or pointless words of encouragement. Just physical comfort. And despite his better judgement, Zuko would always return the embrace, feeling hollow inside and wanting nothing more but to fill the emptiness with _Aang_.

Today, he and Aang were in the training room alone. He was once again trying to meditate, trying to focus on the imaginary image of his block. If he could visualize it, he would be able to destroy it and finally gain some semblance of control. At least, that's what he hoped.

Aang was meditating with him, and no doubt having a much easier time of it than Zuko. Aang was gifted in nearly everything he did, and that included meditation. He could sit for hours on end, peaceful and relaxed and come out at the end feeling refreshed and energized.

Meditation only left Zuko feeling more frustrated than before.

After two hours of trying to find some semblance of calm, Zuko gave up with a growl. He looked down and stared at his hands. In particular, he stared at his left hand, which was almost completely recovered now. It was almost completely covered in too-smooth pink skin, and would likely remain so for the rest of his life. Movement was stiff and the skin itself was a bit sensitive, but otherwise, his hand was all better. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Why am I such a miserable failure?"

"You're not," Aang replied simply.

Zuko stood and started to pace, rubbing his arms reflexively. "We've tried _everything_. And yet, all I manage to do again and again is fail."

"You're not failing," Aang insisted.

"Oh yeah? What would you call trying the same thing over and over again and seeing zero results?"

"Perseverance."

Zuko just rolled his eyes and kept pacing.

"How are you feeling?" Aang asked once again.

Zuko stopped and looked at the airbender. "I'm tired. I'm tired of failing. I'm tired of seeing things that aren't there. I'm tired of these constant voices in my head."

Aang brought his legs up towards his chest, resting his arms on his knees. "What are the voices saying?"

Zuko just shook his head. "They're just memories…" he mumbled.

"You should tell me about them…"

Zuko shivered. "No, I shouldn't."

"You've never talked about your past before," Aang said. "I know you haven't told Dad or Zenji. It can't be good for you to keep it all bottled up inside."

Zuko gave Aang a sharp look. "Trust me. You don't want to know."

Aang sighed. "No, I don't… But that doesn't mean I'm not _willing_ to know." Zuko gave him a look of confusion. "I mean, I'm willing to share the burden with you. You don't have to keep all these memories to yourself."

"Aang, memories don't work like that."

"How can you know if you haven't tried?"

Zuko kept looking at him, and Aang silently hoped he was at least considering it. Without a doubt, it would be hard to listen to. But somehow, he knew that if Zuko would just talk to him, it would help, even if just a little.

Finally, Zuko sat back down next to Aang with a defeated sigh. "There's nothing to say. You already know it all."

Aang frowned. "How could I possibly know?"

Zuko glanced at him imploringly. "You've been there for my nightmares. You know how I think about myself. Well… that's all it is. They're telling me I'm a monster. I'm out of control and will do nothing but cause pain. My hallucinations are just… echos."

Aang slowly scooted over until their shoulders were touching. "They hurt you… The scars are enough to tell me that much."

Looking down at his scar-covered arms, Zuko chuckled humorlessly. "Exactly. So why do need to know details?"

"I don't _need_ to know. I just…" Aang paused, needing to word this carefully. "If you tell me what happened, I won't see you any differently. You'll see that I won't suddenly think you're useless or a monster. Because I won't. And there's _nothing_ you could tell me that would convince me otherwise."

It was a challenge. And Aang hoped Zuko would take it. _Please… let me show you that I'm not going anywhere without you._

Zuko was tracing the scars on his arm, his stomach twisting into itself painfully. He didn't understand why Aang wanted him to talk about his past. He even admitted that he already knew the highlights. What else was there to know?

_Please don't leave me in the dark!_

He swallowed compulsively. His lips moved without conscious consent. "There was a pattern. It wasn't always consistent, but it existed none the less." _Why am I talking about this? Shut your mouth before you regret it!_ "There was no way for be to keep track of time. I didn't see the sun for five years. I just knew the pattern of pain, isolation, and humiliation." He took a deep breath. "It might surprise you… but the isolation was probably the worst. The days of darkness, without any human contact… Those were the days that truly drove me mad. It could have never been more than a couple of days. I would have died of dehydration otherwise. But…" Zuko shivered, curling into himself. "It made me grateful for the days that they tortured me."

Aang kept his breathing even, regardless of the fact that he felt like crying for the traumatic horrors Zuko had been forced to deal with. He could tell he was trembling, but kept it at a minimum, not wanting to give Zuko any reason to stop talking.

Zuko was watching Aang out of the corner of his eye. When he saw that Aang had no reaction, he couldn't help but keep spewing. "The days that they beat and tormented me… those were the only times I had any human interaction. In a way, I yearned for those days. I may have cried or screamed or begged for them to stop. But _anything_ was better than the hours of silence and isolation. Anything was better than feeling like the entire world had disappeared, leaving you entirely alone."

Zuko wrapped his arms around himself, curling in as tight as he could. "I hate myself…" he said tearfully. "I hate that my mind doesn't function like everyone else's. I hate that I… I feel this way." He covered his head, ashamed of himself and his past. "I hate that I actually looked forward to them torturing me. It just shows how fucked up I am."

The pressure in Aang's chest was reaching to the point of pain. He just wanted to reach out to Zuko. To reach out and to hold him, to tell him to stop hating himself, to kiss him deeply…

Aang had no idea how Zuko would react to such an act. Beyond the fact that Zuko was in enough emotional turmoil as it was, they had grown up as family. How would Zuko take being kissed by someone whom he thought of as a little brother?

But then Aang looked at Zuko now, scared of himself and his past, his words echoing in Aang's ears... And any fear of risk or rejection suddenly seemed wholly insignificant. Leaning forward, he brushed Zuko's hair aside, his heart fluttering even though Zuko didn't seem to notice the small gesture. Then, he gently pressed his lips to Zuko's temple, leaning just enough to let Zuko know that he was there. "Those men will never hurt you again," he said softly, his lips barely brushing against the firebender's skin. "No one will ever throw you into light-less cage ever again."

Zuko raised his head, turning to look at Aang with eyes filled with confusion. Aang gave an encouraging smile. _I'm here, I'm not leaving. Not without you._

After an agonizingly long moment of stillness, Zuko slowly raised his arm and rest his trembling hand on the side Aang's face. "Th-that's not what I'm afraid of…" His thumb traced the line of Aang's scar, his breathing hitching. "I'm… I'm afraid of becoming the very monster that they said I was."

Then, Zuko closed the small distance between them, just barely touching his lips hesitantly against Aang's. His eyes were open and unsure. But Aang simply leaned in to finish the kiss, letting out a small moan at the firebender's warmth. He wrapped an arm around Zuko's head and an arm around his back, determined not the let him go.

After stiffening slightly, Zuko slowly melted into Aang, wrapping his arms around him. They barely moved, just enjoying the closeness and the feeling of each other's lips and body heat.

Then, regaining a sense of reality, Zuko quickly moved his head back. "Wait…" he said breathlessly. Aang still had his arms wrapped tightly around him, so he was barely able to move even an inch away. "A-are you... okay with this?"

Aang giggled with half-mast eyes. "I'm the one who started it."

He tried to lean back in for another kiss, but Zuko jerked his head back, his body trembling. "This… this can't be real… I-I have to be dreaming…"

Aang's heart skipped in excitement at the thought of Zuko _dreaming_ of this, but knew this was not a cause for excitement for Zuko. Aang pulled his arms back and cradled Zuko's face. "This isn't a dream. This is _real_." He brushed Zuko's bangs aside, mentally noting how long it had been since either of them had gotten their hair cut. "I love you. I think I have always loved you."

Zuko's eyes filled with tears before he gave a shaky smile. He reached up and gently caressed Aang's face. "I love you," he whispered back. "I _know_ I've always loved you."

Aang giggled again, unable to keep himself from smiling. He stared at Zuko's golden eyes, barely able to believe that this was happening. He started to lean back in for another kiss...

"How is your training going?"

In the blink of an eye, Aang and Zuko had yanked themselves away from one another, both ending up in haphazard positions with a few feet of separation between them.

Gyatso walked into the training room with a smile, seemingly unaware of what had just transpired between them. He looked at the way they lying on the ground, at the fierce blush on both of their faces and raised an eyebrow. "Are you boys alright?"

"Fine," Zuko said, quickly standing and wiping the dirt off his clothes. Aang stood and did the same, maintaining the distance between them.

Gyatso looked between them before his gaze settled on Zuko. "How are you feeling?"

The firebender's face seemed to only get redder. "Fine," he repeated, avoiding eye contact with the old man.

Gyatso took no notice to Zuko's evasive attitude. "When was the last time you tried to firebend?"

Zuko slowly looked up, a frown on his face. "Not since the first time…" he said quietly.

Gyatso nodded. "I see. Well, it's been a few weeks. Why don't you try again?"

Zuko's frown only deepened as his eyes widened slightly in panic. "I-I haven't made any progress…" he said. "Even with everything I've tried… _n-nothing's_ changed."

"Human perception is one of life's least reliable sources of knowledge." Gyatso slowly walked towards Zuko. "If your mind was able to convince you that certain events were real - even if they had never happened - then your own perception cannot be fully trusted." He stopped a few strides away from Zuko, maintaining a respectful distance. "What you believe is possible is not as important as what _is_ possible."

Zuko closed his eyes and shook his head slightly, the man's words giving him a headache. "In any case... I don't see how you expect me to firebend when nothing's changed."

Gyatso's smile widened. "You think nothing's changed?" He waved his hand out. "Why don't you try and see?"

Zuko didn't know what this man was going on about. Aang looked just as skeptical, but when their eyes met, he smiled slightly and nodded. "There's no harm in trying," he said.

_Do you not remember what happened **last** time?_ Regardless, Zuko turned away from them both and extended his hand. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, reaching down into his inner fire. An old ragged voice, familiar yet unrecognizable, rumbled in his head. Unlike Fong, this voice was comforting and warm, allowing Zuko to relax.

_The breath becomes energy in the body. The energy extends past your limbs and becomes **fire**._

There was a flash of orange beyond his eyelids, and he opened his eyes to see a small flame dancing at the palm of his hand. He stared at it in disbelief. It had taken almost no effort to summon the flame. He was honestly speechless. He could only manage to laugh nervously as he brought his hand closer and inspected the flame. His body trembled, but from surprise and excitement instead of fear and pain.

Aang laughed excitedly. "You did it!" He launched himself at Zuko with open arms, almost knocking him over. "You're firebending!"

Zuko closed his fist to extinguish the flame before wrapping his arms around Aang, holding him tightly and burying his face into the nook of the airbender's neck. Speech was too difficult, so he tried to express his gratitude to Aang as best as possible through the embrace.

"Well done, young Zuko."

Zuko looked up, but didn't loosen his embrace. Through his tear-filled eyes, he could see Gyatso smiling.

Tears… Once again he was crying. But this was a different sort of crying than all the times before. Hardly able to comprehend the events of the last hour, all Zuko was aware of was the fact that he was _happy_.

And for the the first time in months, the voices were gone.

* * *

**Look! A whole chapter without me torturing Zuko! **

**Review and let me know what you guys think!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey all!  
**

**Sorry about the longer-than-usual wait. I literally traveled to the other side of the earth. The travel itself and the jetlag have been hell. Though, I have a couple different conferences coming up, not to mention school. My pace is going to be slowing. But I will definitely be taking this story to the complete end.**

**Enjoy Chapter 14!**

* * *

When Anil and Zenji came into the training area later, Aang immediately blurted out that Zuko firebended. Zuko stood back, shoulders hunched and his face red. He was honestly embarrassed at Aang's over-the-top enthusiasm. It wasn't _that_ big of a deal.

Anil seemed to think differently.

Zuko hardly had time to process Anil's sudden proximity before the man had him wrapped in his arms. Zuko let out a small yelp in surprise. He would have hugged Anil back, but Anil had pinned his arms down to his sides.

"I'm so happy for you…" Anil said, his body shaking. "This is a _huge_ step, you realize that, right?"

"A-Anil…" Zuko squeaked. "I… I-I can't… breathe…"

"Oh! Sorry…"

Zuko took a deep breath as Anil stepped back. "Really?" he said incredulously. "It can't be that big of a - "

He was cut short as Zenji practically tackled him, squeezing him even harder than Anil had.

"Ah! Z-Zenji… br… _breathing_…"

"You can survive without air for a few seconds while I smother you. Okay? Okay."

True to her word, she only held on for another few seconds before letting him go. As Zuko replenished his supply of oxygen via large gulps of air, Zenji said, "It _is_ a big deal, Zuko. The first step is always the hardest." She didn't add that this also said volumes about the psychological progress he's made.

Zuko was still embarrassed. But embarrassment was a whole lot better than all of the other emotions he had been experiencing lately.

Of course, they all knew that there was still work to be done. Now that Zuko could produce fire, it was time he started to learn to manipulate and control it. Anil asked if Zuko remembered any bending katas from his childhood. Zuko just replied sullenly that he remembered a few, but had only mastered five of them before being kidnapped.

Anil frowned at Zuko's change in demeanor. "What's wrong with that?" he asked. "Having mastered five complete katas as an eight year old is quite impressive."

Zuko crossed his arms across his chest, looking very uncomfortable. "Not when you're part of a royal bloodline that prides itself in its bending prowess. And not when your sister is a firebending prodigy."

"Who cares about them?" Zenji said. "You should only be concerned with your own progress."

Zuko shrugged but didn't respond, avoiding eye contact.

Anil internally sighed. Just as Zuko had finally made some positive progress, it seems that the act of actually bending was going to dig up a whole new host of emotional problems. Namely, the psychological abuse his original 'family' had inflicted on him.

It's not like it was surprising. They all knew it was going to a long, difficult road. Anil just wished the universe would give the poor boy a break every now and then.

Over the next week, Zuko slowly worked through the katas he could remember, both the ones he had mastered and the ones he had not. He was surprised to find how well he actually remembered them. His footwork was a little sloppy, he mix up the steps occasionally, and it took him hours to fully remember the entire routine for a single kata, but he was slowly fitting back into the mold of a firebender.

It wasn't just him practicing, though. Aang had joined him, and had asked Zuko to teach him. Zuko already knew all the airbending forms; why shouldn't Aang learn the firebending ones? Zuko had hesitated at first, but it was rather unnerving to having his family all staring at him as he performed these katas alone, so he acquiesced.

This made the entire experience much more enjoyable. It turned out that Zuko was a natural teacher. He was able to quickly identify problems with Aang's attempts and offer up meaningful advice to rectify these problems. Encouraged by this, Zuko approached his own practice with more confidence than he thought he would have been able to muster.

In terms of his bending, summoning that first flame to his palm seemed to have opened the floodgates. Zuko still thought his progress was slower than it should have been for an eighteen year old, but he was still pleased with how much had accomplished in a week.

However, he was still have nightmares and inexplicable panic attacks on a daily basis. He was extremely grateful that his hallucinations had finally gone away, hearing only the occasional whisper every now and then. He just wished his night terrors would _also_ go away as easily. Though, there was one perk…

Like before, Aang was always there to comfort him when he finally came back to reality. He still held him and muttered quiet reassurances. But now these were interspersed by soft kisses and '_I love you_'s. It usually took a while for Zuko to fully escape the grasps of his nightmares, but once he did, he would give a shaky smile and return the words and kisses in kind.

These were actually the only times Aang and Zuko expressed their affections to each other. They had a silent agreement that they should avoid these displays when in public. Especially when Zenji or Anil were around. They were both uncertain how Anil would react to such a relationship. In the general world, homosexual relationships were looked down on, even prosecuted against. Aang knew that the traditional Air Nomads had forbidden it. Zuko didn't know explicitly where Anil stood on the issue, but he didn't want to risk angering or, even worse, _disgusting_ the man. And he definitely didn't want to cause Anil to look at _Aang_ that way.

Knowing Zenji, she probably wouldn't care, but they didn't want to risk that she might tell Anil.

And so, they hid their relationship. It was both thrilling and demoralizing for Zuko. Every time Aang even smiled at him, Zuko's stomach would do somersaults in excitement. However, having to hide their affections made Zuko feel as though their relationship was _wrong,_ and he had just dragged Aang down to his level of depravity.

He hadn't voiced these concerns to Aang. Even if their relationship was… _perverse_… Zuko didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it. If he said anything, Aang might realize that he was right and quickly snip the relationship in the bud. And Zuko didn't think he'd be able to handle that kind of rejection. It would be worse than if their relationship had simply never begun in the first place.

That being said, he had no idea how this relationship was going to progress if they were constantly hiding it. They couldn't keep it up forever, right?"

Trying not to let such thoughts distract him, Zuko was practicing. He was alone for a change, wanting to work out some of the steps and movements on his own without his family.

He was currently working through the last kata he had been working on before he had been kidnapped. He never actually mastered it, and it would probably be impossible to do now without a teacher. He could be working on smoothing out his other katas, but that prospect seemed tedious.

Slowly and with purpose, he turned to the right, bringing his arms together in a circle and bending his knees slightly. Turning back forward, he swung his arms out then brought them back down in front of him.

_"You'll never catch up."_

He crossed his arms before pulling them back down. Stepping to the right, he bent his knees and brought his hands back up, letting out a couple small flames. He could have made them bigger, but he was determined not to lose control.

_"She's a true prodigy!"_

Zuko kicked his leg out while thrusting out with his arms, but he lost his balance and fell, landing on the ground with a small grunt.

_"Dad's going to kill you~!"_

With a frustrated growl, Zuko sat up and crossed his legs. It would have been better if his father _had_ killed him. At least the feeling of betrayal would have been short lived. All the pain and anguish would have been over in a matter of seconds. His father was nothing if not efficient.

_I would have done anything for you_, Zuko thought to the phantom of his father. _And you left me to rot in the hands of the enemy._

He buried his face in his hands. Why was he thinking like this? Why did he care about what _Ozai_ had thought of him? His father had been an evil man. From all accounts (including his own), Azula had been just as bad. If Zuko had been raised with them, he probably would have been just as bad. He was, after all, _born_ of that evil.

A monster.

"Training?"

Zuko looked up and saw Gyatso standing in the entrance. "You like just popping in randomly, don't you?"

Gyatso smiled. "I felt like checking up on your progress. Anil tells me you've been doing well since last week."

Zuko shrugged and stood up. "I haven't lost control, if that's what you're asking."

Gyatso looked around the training area. "Where is your family?"

"They're with that Eiji guy, getting new staffs made for Anil and Aang…" Zuko grimaced at his own words. The whole reason they needed new staffs was because _he_ had destroyed them.

"I see." Gyatso turned towards the benches that were at the sides of the room. "Would you mind having a small chat with this old man?"

Zuko frowned slightly, but shook his head. "Not at all."

When they sat down, they shared a short awkward silence before Gyatso said, "Are you happy?"

Zuko stiffened. _What kind of question was that?_ "Uh…"

"...with the progress you've made?"

"Oh." Zuko looked down at his hands, cringing slightly at the sight of his burn. His progress? What _progress_ had he made? He supposed beginning to firebend again after ten years would be considered progress. Besides that he hadn't really made much for progress. He was just as incompetent as he had been as a child. He was uncertain what kind of answer Gyatso was looking for. Knowing that their welcome was conditioned on his ability to control his bending, he gave a small shrug. "_Happy_ is not the word I'd use. I promise I'm working hard."

"I know you are." Gyatso turned towards him and smiled. "You have done incredibly well. You should be proud."

"_Proud?_" Zuko echoed incredulously. "I'm struggling just to do what other people do naturally!"

"And that's what?"

"Thats - !" Zuko frowned in confusion. "What?"

"What is it exactly that you think other people can do so naturally that you can't?"

Zuko gaped at the older man skeptically. "I don't know where _you've_ been the last several weeks, but I can't even _function_. I haven't been able to control my bending for most of my life, and even when I did, I was terrible at it! Especially when compared to virtually every other bender on this planet."

"Most other benders haven't had your circumstances," Gyatso replied calmly. "And if they did, I doubt they would have survived and thrived despite these circumstances as you have." He gave a shrug and a smile. "Besides, why are you comparing yourself with others? It is a useless endeavor. No matter who you are, you will always find someone better than you. You should only be concerned with your own successes and failures."

Zuko just hung his head in response. There was no point in trying to explain his… _feelings_… to his man: to try and explain what it was like to do nothing but _fail_ even though you're trying as hard as you can.

Gyatso looked at Zuko's dejected form for a moment before adding, "Your strength lies in your refusal to ever give up. And that's no small feat. It's easy to quit when the world seems determined to tear you down. It takes an extraordinary amount of will and determination to keep getting up even _after_ failure." He chuckled. "From what I've heard, you've been this way ever since you were a child."

_A child?_ While he had essentially been a child in mind, he had actually nearly been a teenager when Anil and Zenji rescued him. From the wording, it didn't sound like Gyatso was talking about that time in his life. But how could he possibly know anything about Zuko before that?

Seeing the confusion on Zuko's face, Gyatso said quietly, "I used to be very close friends with your uncle."

Zuko looked up at Gyatso with a raised eyebrow. "My uncle?"

"General Iroh. Commonly known as the Dragon of the West."

Zuko's eyes widened slightly. "You knew my uncle?"

Gyatso nodded. "We were quite close before he fell at the wall of Ba Sing Se. Among other things, he spoke of his family. That includes you."

Zuko didn't respond, honestly not knowing what to say. He only vaguely remembered his uncle. Like virtually everyone else, he couldn't even remember his face. He remembered liking his uncle. He could faintly recall his uncle giving him some firebending tips. However, the memory of his mother sadly announcing that he had died with his son was, frankly, the strongest memory of him he had.

"He was quite fond of you," Gyatso continued. "I know it pained him to see how your father treated you."

"You don't know anything about my father!" Zuko snapped instinctively. He immediately closed his eyes and sighed as he realized how stupid he was being. "I mean… my father… he hated me. Even if he was a terrible person, that doesn't mean that he wasn't… _justified_ in his feelings for me." Gyatso was giving him a look of pity, and Zuko hated him for it. "It's not my father's fault I was terrible at everything I did!"

The old man just looked at him for a moment before sighing. "Your uncle would have been proud. Of everything you've accomplished."

Zuko just shook his head. That didn't mean anything to him. He couldn't remember the man; he wasn't family to him. Anil, Zenji, Aang… _they_ were his family. The opinions of people long gone and forgotten meant nothing.

Gyatso stood and gave a small bow. "I wish you luck with your training and with your future." Then, he walked out, leaving behind a slightly bewildered and frustrated Zuko.

* * *

Aang watched Zuko practice with his dao blades. Zuko had admitted to Aang that he had been avoiding his regular practice. With his more-real-than-life hallucinations, he had been afraid of inadvertently swinging at someone and hurting them.

Why Zuko was still stubbornly insistent that he was a '_monster_', Aang had no idea.

Zuko was practicing with one of the dummies, which Aang didn't really understand, but he wasn't a swordsman. Still, it was fascinating to watch him. Being surrounded by airbenders, it was nice to be able to observe a different style of fighting. For the most part, Zuko had slowly taught himself over the last five years, learning from texts that they found while on the road. These were forms that Aang had no familiarity with. There were similarities to be sure, but the swords acted more as extensions to Zuko's arms rather than separate parts. Similar to how Aang used his staff, though the style was completely different.

Zuko's movements were fluid and quick. It was nothing like his firebending katas. The mixture of his fear and insecurity made them hesitant and stunted.

This he was confident with. This he was _comfortable_ with. Aang hoped that Zuko would become this comfortable with his firebending eventually. He had already come a long way. Zuko was able and willing to summon small flames. He incorporated a bit of firebending into his katas, though they were always overly subdued. He just needed more time. Comfort came with familiarity, and Zuko would only gain that through practice.

Breathing deeply and evenly, his body coated in sweat, Zuko placed his blades together and effortlessly slipped them back into their scabbard. His body relaxing, he removed his blades and set them beside Aang's staff, grabbing a towel and sitting next to the airbender. "You don't have to stay here with me," he said, wiping the sweat off his face. "It must be boring."

Aang smiled and leaned closer. "Not at all." He placed a small kiss on Zuko's shoulder.

Zuko smiled softly. "I'm sweaty and nasty."

"Mmm… not to me." Aang leaned his head against Zuko's bare shoulder, just next to his collarbone.

"I stink."

"No… you smell nice." Aang nuzzled him slightly before sitting back up. "Really nice…" He leaned in and pressed his lips against Zuko's, internally smiling when Zuko leaned back against him. Zuko brought up a hand to the side of Aang's head, deepening the kiss with a small moan. Aang opened his mouth slightly and darted his tongue out to barely taste the firebender's lips.

Zuko stiffened a little, opening his eyes and pulling back a little. "Aang…"

Aang frowned. "Everything okay?"

Zuko nodded, stroking his hand through Aang's hair, but he looked uncertain. "Yeah… I-I just…"

Aang reached up and grabbed the wrist of the hand Zuko had on his head. "If something's the matter, you can talk to me about it. I don't want you hiding things from me."

"I'm not hiding." Which was a lie, and they both knew it.

Aang searched Zuko's face before slowly pulling back. He grabbed Zuko's arm and slowly wrapped it around his own shoulders, leaning heavily against the firebender's side. He felt Zuko squeezed him gently. "What's wrong?" Aang insisted.

Zuko shook his head. "Nothing. I'm just…" He growled and ground his forehead with the the palm of his hand. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I'm being so hesitant. Especially since we hardly do anything outside of... You know."

Aang wrapped an arm around Zuko's middle. "There's nothing wrong with it. We don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"But that's just it: I _do_ want to. I want to do so much more. I just… feel so uncertain."

Aang gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Zuko, for once in your life, do what you want. Do what you're comfortable with. It's not like we're in a hurry."

Zuko stiffened. "_You're_ not," he muttered.

Aang looked up with a small frown. "Why would you be in a hurry?"

Zuko visibly gulped, a small shiver sweeping through his body. "I…" He rubbed his hand up and down Aang's arm. "I just don't want you to… t-to get… bored… with me."

Aang jerked up, gaping at Zuko, his chest constricting painfully. "What would make you think I would get bored of you?!"

Zuko flinched. "I-I-I j-just… why n-not?"

Aang stuttered incoherently for a moment before words started spilling out. "One! You are the least boring person on this planet. Two! You think I'm going to just… stop liking you because we don't _kiss_ enough? Three…!" Aang grabbed the sides of his face and forced Zuko's head to face his. "I _love_ you. You have been my best friend for… for my _entire life_. I have watched you suffer, and I have watched you grow and overcome the _worst_ of what this world has to offer. I have seen you cry, and laugh, and smile. I would do _anything_ for you." He gave Zuko a quick kiss, just to emphasis the point. "You understand me? I'm more than willing to let you take the reins on this relationship. Really."

Zuko's eyes filled with tears, but he was trying to blink them back. He gave a breathy smile. "I love you."

Aang smiled widely. "I love you so much…" He leaned in for another kiss.

The entire room suddenly started to shake violently, knocking Aang full bodied into Zuko. Zuko wrapped his arms around him protectively as the tremors continued. They didn't stop for nearly minute, but when they did, Zuko only slightly loosened his grip. "An earthquake?"

Aang looked up. "That was… a _weird_ earthquake. Too long and - "

The shaking began again, and Zuko grabbed his swords and Aang's staff and started to pull Aang towards the exit. "We need to get out of here!"

The shaking was on and off in an uneven pattern. As they stumbled through the halls, they blended in the crowd of other members of the enclave also trying to get out. Even as they moved, they could see things falling, walls collapsing, structures cracking.

_This isn't normal,_ Aang thought, maintaining his death grip on Zuko's tunic. _This area isn't prone to earthquakes. That's part of the reason this enclave was built._ He tried to keep an eye out for his father and Zenji, but couldn't make out any individuals.

It was a good thing they were following the crowd. It turned out the cottage wasn't the only exit. Whatever throng of people they were following, they were guiding Zuko and Aang through an exit near the banquet hall.

As they poured up the stone staircase and through the opening out into the light, Aang saw that there had been a door hidden underneath the forest brush. But the crowd dispersed and revealed that the forest had been torn down. Everything in the area had been cleared.

As Zuko and Aang stood in the epicenter of the the evacuation, spinning from side to side to try and gather their bearings, the sounds of screaming and of fighting started to permeate into their awareness.

Then they saw them.

They saw the Earth Kingdom soldiers.

* * *

**Not my greatest chapter, but I wanted to get an update up for you guys.**

**Review and let me know what you guys think!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey all!  
**

**This chapter is much shorter than chapters in the past, but I realized that it was a good breaking point before a much longer part (next chapter). Not to mention I wanted to get something posted once I realized I haven't posted in almost a month.**

**I _have_ been continuously working on this story, it's just been slow going because of school starting back up. Don't worry, I'm still writing! Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up faster.**

**Enjoy Chapter 15!**

* * *

Anil was running down a long hallway when another large quake hit, knocking him onto all fours. He tried to stand back up, but found it impossible to get purchase on the shaking floor. So he gripped the ground and steeled himself through it.

Above the deafening rumble of the quake, he could barely hear a shrill cry coming from the room up ahead of him. When the shaking finally stopped, he quickly stood and ran to the room, stopping only for a moment when he saw a young woman pinned underneath a pile of rocky rubble. She looked up with her eyes wide in fear, blood dribbling out of the corner of her mouth. He ran up to her and tried to push the debris off of her. It was only when he threw one of the wooden beams aside that he saw the large boulder that had crushed half of the woman's body.

He froze, realizing in growing horror that there was no way to save this woman. He wasn't an earthbender. Even if he was, there was no way she would survive. It was a miracle she was still conscious.

"Hurry!" the woman pleaded. "I-I think I can walk if you can just get these rocks off of me…!"

Anil stepped back and shook his head wordlessly, feeling utterly useless. "I… I can't…"

The shaking began again, making Anil fall backwards. When he looked up, he saw the remnants of the ceiling cracking. Instinct taking over, he airbent himself backwards and out of the room just as the ceiling collapsed, cutting the screaming woman silent.

He felt numb but knew he had to get out. Focusing on that single thought, he braced himself and crawled forward as the halls shook. Once they stopped again, he stood and ran towards the exit.

The cottage had been destroyed, the entrance into the enclave blocked by rubble. Thankfully, it wasn't enough to stop the airbenders. With a few powerful gusts of wind, the rubble was cleared and the remainder of the enclave ran out. In front was Gyatso, who froze in his tracks at the sight of hundreds of Earth Kingdom soldiers standing all around the entrance. "What is the meaning of this?" Gyatso demanded.

One man stepped forward from the ranks. "This is Earth Kingdom territory. As you are not citizens of the Earth Kingdom, we demand you leave. The war is over. Go back to your temples."

Gyatso stood firm. "Our temples are destroyed. My people have lived here peacefully for nearly half a century."

"That's not our problem."

"There was no attempt to ask us peacefully to leave," Gyatso said, his anger palpable. "Your unprovoked attack has already killed several innocent people. You have no right."

"We have _every_ right," the soldier said, a smug smile on his face. "And if you refuse to leave, we will have no choice but to remove you by force."

When the fighting broke out, Anil could barely process it. It was taking all of his concentration to avoid the seemingly endless barrage of stones and the columns of earth shoot up from the ground beneath him. _This isn't a fight we can win… Even if the whole enclave could fight, we're outnumbered at least two to one._

Evidently, most of the other airbenders were having the same thought. Avoid, evade, and flee. It was the instinct of every airbender, especially in dire times. But Anil couldn't simply flee. He had to be certain that his family wasn't getting buried in the collapsing underground enclave.

Suddenly, something grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pulled him behind a large spike of earth, out of the army's view. He turned around, calming only slightly when he saw that it was Zenji. "Where are Aang and Zuko?" he asked immediately.

"I don't know. But I saw them leave the enclave before, so I know they're not trapped. I lost sight of them after the fighting broke out." She cringed when the ground shook violently. "Anil, we need to leave _now_."

You knew things were bad when _Zenji_ wanted to run away from a fight. "We can't! We have to find the boys!"

"They're not stupid! They're not going to stick around and wait to get impaled by those soldiers. We'll find them after we're safe."

Anil shook his head. "We have to find them!"

Zenji grabbed his shoulders. "They're both capable fighters. They'll be fine. And we're no good to them if we get ourselves killed."

The spike of earth shattered above them, and they both instinctively airbent the debris out of harm's way. A soldier jumped onto what was left of the spike and was about to lunge at them when Zenji spun her staff forward and knocked him back down. A large rock was launched at them from the side. Anil barely dodged it before another was sent toward him. Zenji was right; there was no way they could stay. They were more likely to get killed than to find the boys.

Taking a firm stance, Anil thrust both his arms out, creating a powerful wave that knocked all the nearby soldiers off their feet. Without a word, he and Zenji both ran into the surrounding forest with airbending speed.

Aang and Zuko would be fine. Neither of them were hotheaded enough to take on the soldiers on their own. They would get away, and they would all find each other again. Anil was certain of it.

He refused to think otherwise.

* * *

It would be easy for Aang to get away. With his airbending, he was much faster than any of these soldiers. The other airbenders were doing it. Some tried to fight in vain, but they all eventually realized how hopeless the situation was and fled.

However, Zuko was no airbender.

Having been trained in airbending forms, it was relatively easy for him to weave and twist his way between the projectiles. Those he couldn't avoid, he smashed to pieces with his blades. However, he couldn't simply run past the soldiers. He wasn't fast enough.

Aang stayed by Zuko's side, wracking his brain for a way out of this. They couldn't fight forever. There was too many of them, and as the other airbenders fled, the force concentrated against them only increased. He was starting to panic. He wasn't powerful enough to knock them all over at once. And certain not for a long enough time for Zuko and Aang to get away.

They were going to be captured. Or killed. And there was nothing he could do about it.

In his panic, he failed to sense one of the rocks that was shot at him from the side. He didn't know it was there until it had hit his exposed side, cracking his ribs with incredible force. He cried out as his entire side exploding in pain and he fell to the ground. He gasped desperately, finding it nearly impossible to draw breath.

"AANG!"

The pain and lack of oxygen was dulling his senses. However, he was sure that he could see a wall of fire spring up through is blackening vision. The sudden feeling of the almost uncomfortable heat across his skin only confirmed his suspicions. He tried to sit up, but moving at all was sheer agony. Forcing himself to breathe deeply, blinking rapidly, he tried to see what was going on. But even as his vision cleared, all he could see was the wall of fire spinning around him. Turning his head, he saw that that Zuko was standing in the middle with him, his arms extended.

With one fluid motion, Zuko arched his arms in before thrusting them downward, the wall of fire lowering and expanding outward. As the front of fire hit the soldiers, Aang could hear them cry out, but it sounded more like cries of panic than cries of pain.

Enthralled by the display of power, he was completely unprepared for Zuko to hook an arm around his chest, haul him up, and start running. Aang couldn't help but scream at the unexpected surge of pain. Even so, Zuko didn't slow or falter. He just kept running, supporting almost all of Aang's weight against him.

Aang didn't know how long they ran for. He was hardly aware of anything outside of the agony in his chest and the feeling of his bones grinding against each other. He kept waiting, hoping that he would pass out, but the adrenaline seemed to be keeping him conscious.

Finally, Zuko's pace slowed and they both fell to the ground in an unceremonious heap. Aang let out another yelp and curled minutely on his uninjured side.

Zuko just stayed on his hands and knees, every muscle in his body trembling and his muscles twitching. His breathing was deep and wheezy, his lungs burning and constricting in protest. He prayed to all the spirits that they were far away enough. He wouldn't be able to run anymore. Not for a while.

Ever so slowly, he sat back on his feet, his muscles feeling like jelly. He had to take care of Aang. It was obvious that he was hurt. It had been obvious when it had happened, it had been obvious as they ran. His mind carefully blank, he managed to crawl over to where Aang was curled on the ground. "Aang?"

Aang gave a small moan in response, only barely opening his eyes. "My ribs are broken," he stated.

Zuko cringed in sympathy. "Can I take a look?"

Aang nodded and slowly tried to lift his shirt. Zuko took a hold and did the rest for him, unsurprised and angered by the sight of the dark purple and blue bruising. _Don't get angry… Don't lose control… Don't firebend…_

_You already firebent at those soldiers._

Zuko stared at Aang's injury intently, trying to ignore the voice in his head. Then, he started to pull some strips of cloth off his shirt. "I'm going to wrap your chest. There's nothing I can do about the pain unless we see a healer…"

"The Earth Kingdom doesn't seem to interested in helping non-Earth Kingdom citizens right now." Aang slowly sat up and propped himself up against a tree. "Where are we?"

Zuko looked around, biting his lip when he saw nothing but trees. "I don't know. I just ran. I didn't keep track of which direction we were going."

Aang placed a hand over his injury, wincing slightly. "Do you think Dad and Zenji are okay?"

"Of course," Zuko replied instantly. "At the very least, Zenji won't let a few earthbending soldiers take her down. And your dad is one of the best benders I've seen."

"How are we going to find them?"

That was a good question. Considering everyone ran radially from the exits, that could mean that Anil and Zenji were miles away from where they were. They couldn't just blindly search for them, not with the soldiers still in the area. Their best bet was to keep moving away from the remains of the enclave, ideally towards some common goal. "Ba Sing Se."

Aang frowned. "What?"

"We should head towards Ba Sing Se. It's where we were trying to get to before we stumbled on the enclave. Anil and Zenji will probably head in that direction too, since that was our original destination. Hopefully, we'll find each other on the way." Zuko stood. "Let's get moving."

Aang grimaced. "Can't we rest for a bit? I don't think I could even stand right now, even if I wanted to."

Zuko could see the pain etched on his face, and wanted nothing more than to take the pain away by any means necessary. However, it was dangerous to stay in one spot. Also, Zuko felt like he was about implode if he didn't keep his mind occupied on something.

But unwilling to push Aang through his injury, Zuko gave a curt nod before sitting down next to him. "Rest for a bit. But we should keep moving so the soldiers don't find us."

Aang nodded gratefully. "I'll be fine in a little bit. I don't think it's as bad as it looks…"

Zuko grunted in response.

Aang looked at Zuko, noticing the fine tremors that were running through his body. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not injured."

"That's not what I asked."

Zuko closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm fine."

Aang's eyes narrowed. "No your not."

Zuko threw his hands into the air exasperatedly. "Why do you even bother _asking_ me?"

Aang scowled. "Because I'd like to believe that you'd at least tell me the truth."

He wrapped his arms around himself with a sigh. "I'm not lying. I _am_ fine. Relatively speaking."

"'Relatively speaking'," Aang echoed. "So, by any normal person's standard… you're _not_ fine."

"Stop mincing my words…"

"I'm not. I'm stating facts." Still not able to move well, Aang placed a hand on Zuko's arm. "Are you upset because you firebent?" he asked quietly.

Zuko shuddered. "I… I didn't think about it..."

Aang frowned. "You didn't do anything wrong. You did what all the airbenders were trying to do: stop the soldiers."

Zuko quickly shook his head. "No. That's not it. It's… I firebent without thinking. I was… I wasn't in _control_."

Aang sat up reflexively, not even regretting it when his side complained. "Yes, you were!" he exclaimed.

Zuko gave him a skeptical look.

"Being in control doesn't mean you consciously think out every single move," Aang insisted. "Just because you firebent instinctively doesn't mean you were out of control. If anything, it's a _good_ sign. _I_ know I finally have a kata down when I can move through it without thinking." He pointed to Zuko's blades. "Do you consciously think about how your arms move and how you're standing when you fight?"

Zuko looked down at his blades, gripping them tightly. His body relaxed a little as he processed Aang's words. "I suppose you're right…"

"I don't think you even hurt any of the soldiers," Aang said. "It didn't sound like it. Even if you had, they were trying to _kill_ us. You wouldn't have hurt them any more than how much _I_ was trying to. We were defending ourselves."

Zuko took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and nodded. "Okay."

Aang smiled widely, relieved that Zuko wasn't going to beat himself up for a change. He sat back, wincing again at the movement. The short rant seemed to have made him more tired. "Do you think the soldiers are following us?"

"I don't know. It seems a little ridiculous to think that they'd be actively hunting all of us down, especially since everyone ran in different directions. But the Earth Kingdom seems to be determined to eradicate everything non-Earth Kingdom, not just the people of the Fire Nation."

Aang sighed. "I hate to say this, but everything is so much worse than when the war was still going on. The Fire Nation may have been trying to take over the world, but at least they didn't try and slaughter everybody."

Zuko cringed. "Except the Air Nomads."

"Oh… yeah, except them…" He frowned. "But why just the Air Nomads? The Earth Kingdom is trying to kill everyone else, which makes sense in a twisted sort of way. Why was the Fire Nation so focused on the Air Nomads?"

Zuko bit his bottom lip. He didn't remember much from before he was kidnapped, but he could remember some of the lessons taught to him, not just the firebending ones. This included history and the events of what was now known as the Hundred Year War. Zuko remembered being told that the Air Nomads were inferior with their passive, evasive style of life. By not providing actively to the world, they were a hindrance that consumed resources. They were basically worthless. It was better for the world order that they be wiped off the map in order to obtain a more productive balance.

He remembered learning this, and he remembered _believing_ this. Thinking it back on it now made him sick to his stomach.

Ignoring Aang's inquiry, Zuko stood. "You rest a bit. I'm going to practice one of my katas. When I'm done, we should get moving again."

Aang noticed that Zuko had avoided the question. While Aang had not meant the question to probe into Zuko's past, he found it curious that it was a topic Zuko seemed to want to avoid. Saving it for later, he gave a tired nod. "Okay. Don't go too far."

"Don't worry. I'll be right here."

* * *

**Stay tuned for next time!**

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